Starting again and getting it right

Dianne H.G. · Post by **Dianne H.G.** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:37 pm

Hi SOOs! After reading Sherrie's post, I am more determined to keep going with my program. I met a guy, a really wonderful person, and then I stopped working on my program for a while...yesterday I started to lapse, feeling worry and panic going out of control, so I know I don't need to feel that way, I have the perfect tool to deal with it, just have to make time tonight to get back into it! I do believe that we attract to us good things if we approach the world with the belief that good things will come our way...so instead of finding another bad relationship, I hit the jackpot! I feel so lucky - finally! Dr. Christiane Northrups on PBS was saying that "those who have trouble receiving attract those who have trouble giving..." This time I found a wonderful un-selfish person, so my life is going good! (I just need to get back to Session 7). Love to all, Dianne

northerngal · Post by **northerngal** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 7:51 am

Hi--I just ended the program with a coach no less last month,and here I am , starting it all over again by myself.I cry constantly. I never caught on to the positive self help talk, and so I am still housebound. I feel like such a loser, contemplated seriously committing suicide the last 2 nights because I don't sleep,and have lost so much weight, I've turned back into anorexia nervosa.My husband is ashamed that I am not "better", so that makes me feel really bad. I'm a mess and I need help. Thankss,Trish

just my luck · Post by **just my luck** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 10:46 am

Hello SOO'ser's LOL! It's been a ride for me and as I read and hear from all of you. We are all making the road easier by doing the program and not giving up. I love your doing so well Dianne and your life is going positive for you. We all need our breaks with the program as long as it's not too long and what is too long that's up to you. I have not kept up too well with all the holiday's going on and all your post. I have had a great and warm Christmas better than the years before if only in my positive thinking. Welcome Northerngal to our group I wish you well and want to let you know we will alway be here and many eye's are reading this. I'm not a doctor or a professional of any kind that can give you advice on what you should do. I can only say for self talk to love yourself that's the first step I took that helped me. Beleive is the biggest thing I do for if not for that I don't think I would be where I am now. I beleive I'm a good person. Thank you for sharing your story and very best of luck on you quest to finding help. You have posted on this thread for a reason and as long a you beleive you will find it. We are all here to help get help and listen. We are starting over to finish it this time and if we want to we can choose to go through it again. This program has one better my life learning how to live happier. I must admit I am stalled on lession 9. It's work in progress with the holiday's. I landed on 9 during these day's for a reason. Now I can say my life is doing better and a new year is coming just in time for me to enjoy it.
I will bring the new year with a better outlook and beleive that I will have a better future. I know most of you are doing good and staying with the program and would love to hear your story and how your doing now with the new year. No matter if you have stoped or quite your still reading this so your still with us and welcome to post anything. We are all in this together and to help one another good and bad through it and let you know you are a good person your helping yourself. Treat yourself with respect and you will find yourself feeling better. I shall be bringing in the new year sawing logs I know some of you will party either way any way make it a good way just by thiking positive if only for a short time. You derserve that no matter what. Here's to wishing you all a Great and Blessed New Year!!!! We are all better for joining this group of SOO'ser's that's (Starting Over'er's) for ones who don't remember or know. We are brave for it and we deserve it. Bless you Love Sherrie

Barb G. · Post by **Barb G.** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:44 am

Hello Everyone. Dianne thank you for starting this thread, it's been going a long time I see. I skimmed thru all of it, my goodness, lots there. I probably missed it because I didn't start over till last month. I am now doing it with a coach and as of talking with her today will start lesson 8 again. I think I'm getting more out of it this time. I thought I did well the first time until we got this new home and have had all kinds of problems. I wish I could look at it like you Dianne. The tree falling on your car and house, wow, your attitude was great. Over Christmas I was kinda falling apart because the clinic was not giving me my meds. I'm bi-polar and would love it if I could go off but you just don't go off cold turkey. I have no family Dr. at present because I've been trying to get one and then see me once and say they're too full can't take any more patients and the new one I had an appt. with would not give me enough meds to get thru till I saw her supposedly today. I went to a chiropracter and said what do I do to get my meds. She said go to urgent care so I finally got 40 pills to last me till I go back to a former Dr. from yrs. ago who moved away. It will be more of a drive but probably worth it since I always liked him. I filed a complaint against the people who would not help me. I hadn't see a Psychiatrist in several yrs. because my meds are working fine, I just need them when I run out. The Dr. on call in urgent care when I asked him about having to see a Psychiatrist threw his hands in the air. The Pharmacist said it's all a money game. I agree. What do any of you pay for an office visit? Mine was $96 and that was to see a nurse practioner. I am grateful to her for one BIG thing and that was writing a letter to the insurance co. to help cover the costs for the coaching. I so...hope I get this 2nd time around because I so....want to become a coach for StressCenter.com. Don't know if that's possible. I know I have to get much better to become a coach. But then again, what coach is perfect. I e-mailed the head person and am waiting to find out more about become a coach. That too is motivation besides getting better for me, I want to be better for others. Don't we all wish that for others. What a better world it could be with freedom from anxiety/dep.
Again, thank you for this thread. I look forward to reading more posts.

Barb G. · Post by **Barb G.** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:51 am

I must also add Dianne, in finishing lesson 7 on Assertiveness, I felt the need to be assertive in filing that complaint against the clinic. I wanted to file it a month ago so it wasn't just a quick decision. I didn't file before because the main person was not there. Well, she wasn't there this time either but at least I filed it. Wonder if I'll hear from her or not. I was obsessing about that too. Well, even if I don't I think I made the right decision in going back to my family dr. from yrs. back. Thanks again.

Dustin B · Post by **Dustin B** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 5:28 pm

Hi, I'm Dustin. :u]

I am another who is starting this program for the second time around. Last time, I had went an entire week and a half with out any panicky symptoms. It was already a huge change, but something happened in my life that I "allowed" to throw me off course.

I'm tired of being tired, tired of being scared, and most of all tired of not being everything I can be. We're all in this together, and that's what makes it all the more beautiful. Tim Robbin's character in The Shawshank Redemption was absolutely right. Either get busy living, or get busy dying. I'm ready to start living, if even for the first time. That makes it that much more worth looking forward to. :u]
Peace & love to you all.

Always,
Dustin :u]

"I hope the day finally comes, to where we can all realize, that within the most seemingly destructive scenarios and moments, is where the most imaginatively beautiful discoveries await us."

-Dustin Boudreaux

"It does not become WE WILL, until we come to the realization that WE CAN."

-Dustin Boudreaux

just my luck · Post by **just my luck** » Tue Jan 08, 2008 6:32 am

Hello One in All SOO'ers it's going good but slow for me and I'm on 10 now. Welcome Dustin glad you joined us. I don't blame you for being tired of being scared. My own thoughts have scared me too many times. I have been working on positive thinking and those scary thoughts don't come around so much. Just starting lesion 10 I've been a little scared I never though of myself as an obsessive thinker, but to read it and learn what it is all about should better me. I have heard knowledge is power and I've been gathering a lot of it. My new year is starting off real good even though negative is in my life everyday. I'm working with it in a positive manner and it works out to not look or seem too bad. Good luck Dustin were here to listen, learn and help with you through the program. I'm on my way to finishing this program and am happy you joined to do the same for your life too. I believe I'm a good person and deserve the good things in life and you should we all should always' believe in that for our lives. Reading your post made me look back to our first post's and how we have changed and not changed since then. I have managed to stop those scary thoughts and send them to space and replace them with good ones. If I can't I do something or think how the weather is outside right now or I love what color, that wall is. I just think about anything else and keep it up till I forget about it or am doing something about it. Some day's are better than others I don't dwell on it. That helps me move on with my life the past is just that the past. We all need to believe there is better out there we need to keep heading for it and we will make it. Good to hear from some of you and your looking at a better year. For all that is still doing what you can to stay happy believe it it's true. Have a Great life Sherrie

InChaos63 · Post by **InChaos63** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:10 pm

Hello all of the SOO's out there. I regret how long it's been since I've written. The longer I procrastinate to write, the harder it is to start up again. Welcome to the newcomers to the thread, NorthernGal, Barb, Dustin and EvyLight. Northerngal, I just wanted to let you know that you truly are not alone in this. There are so many people that have been, or they still are, right where you are now. At least you have the courage to ask for help. A lot of people never get that far. So that should give you at least some positive reinforcement. I'm sorry about all that you're going through and I hope that things start to get better for you. You're never a loser for going back to start over. Just because you finished the program all the way through, it doesn't mean you're automatically not going to feel anxious or depressive thoughts. You now just have more tools as to how to deal with them. If you need someone to help you with positive self talk, this thread is the place. Good luck to you and your husband. You already know in your heart that suicide is not the answer. No matter how "ashamed" your husband may be of you, it would hurt him and the rest of your family terribly.
Right now, I am still stuck on session 8. I have been on it for quite some time. If I'm not the king of anticipatory anxiety, then I should at least be in the running. For the last three years I have been anticipating getting fired from my job. My district manager, I feel, has never given me the respect I deserve and the thought of getting fired every time he walks in the door really tears at my soul. So, now I have started looking for a new job, which brings about a whole new sense of anxiety. I've held this job for 15 years and leaving this job to start a new venture is terrifying. Now, I also have the fear of my boss finding out that I'm looking a new job, because they will truly fire me as soon as they find out.
My sleep is still jacked up too. I've got the sleeping apnea machine, but I quit on it because I had a horrible time adapting to it. I know that it's like riding a horse and that I have to get back and try it again. My doctor wants me to get a mental assessment to talk about my sleep issues with my add/adhd issues and try to come up with something to help me. Now my health insurance is also changing, so I have to start over with that. Don't even get me started on health insurance. What a joke. My company is shoving this PPO plan down our throats and I might as well sell some body parts to be able to pay copays and deductibles.
On a more positive note, my wife got me a treadmill for Christmas and exercise really makes me feel better about myself. She is also using it, and enjoying it also.
So, good luck to everyone out there and good continued healing. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Some of you, we haven't heard from you in a while and I hope that by me writing it might bring some of you back out. Dianne, GirlWisdom, Deb, I hope you're all doing well and I would love to get a quick note from you all to know you're doing well and trying to continue with the program. There is no crime in starting over. It isn't school, it's your life. Do it at the pace that makes you comfortable and no one will ever judge you. God bless you all. Matt

just my luck · Post by **just my luck** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 11:09 am

Hello All of You and if there is any SOO's here too. I must say as everyone here can touch base on is doubt. I'm still on ten heck I haven't did anything but listen to the cd once. I was emailing a friend I meant here and was telling her how life can bog you down. All the positive thinking you do still doesn't stop the negative from coming. I myself am doing better since I started this program over. I still have times where I'm afraid and have nothing to say of intrest. Ok or sounding stupid and not helping at all. I post in hopes to help and get feed back that can help me too. 10 talks about habit and we all known we have habits. It's a challange when you have been use to negative to throw positive into the mix. Matt is right some of you guy's were real great posters and got a lot of positive from it all. It kept me going and still does knowing I'm helping out doing my part. Even if I don't post for a while I will and make more of a effort to. I know I said it before and I'm not taking the easy way out. I like to say thanks Matt for posting as you do once is a while. It's always nice to hear how someone else is doing weather good or bad. I know some of you have better life for what you have done to make yourself happy. Just never forget and I'm glad I didn't were still here and going nowhere. I know some of you who joined recently would love to hear you story and how you begun to bring yourself in trying this program again. You may not want to talk about yourself at all and that's ok too. The nice thing about here is there is no judgess and noone to save you that you have to do yourself if you want it. Ok now this time I will start 10 and finish is to move on to 11 getting close and it makes me anxious a little.I'm going to read some other posts and see if I have the courage to post to them. I know this down mood of mine will pass. I juat want to check in with you all and let you know I'm still doing the program maybe just not as fast as the rest or faster than most LOL. I wish you all the very best be happy.
Have a Great and Blessed Life Love Sherrie

GirlWisdom · Post by **GirlWisdom** » Sun Feb 24, 2008 9:00 am

Hey all! Sherrie, it's nice to see you again. Well, just checking in and saying hello and it's good to be back. I send a special prayer to everyone here, and that you keep fighting the good fight, and getting through the program. I know I'll never stop fighting my anxiety until it's flat on it's back and gone. Lol ! Take care all! Oh, and a picture for old times sake.