You are not a failure. No matter how bad your anxiety is, you are not a failure. Anxiety is an emotion that passes through you. It is not who you are. If your anxiety lessened because of the medication then the medication simply lessoned that emotion. It doesn't mean you didn't play a part in that too. Without the medication, you just have to work harder to implement the techniques from this program, but it doesn't mean you are a failure. You just do the program again, and it's no big deal. The program is here to help you get better. It's not an achievement test, and it doesn't matter how many times you do it. You are not a failure.
I still think this has to do with your dad. Your body got riled up, and with the techniques in this program you can help your body calm down. In addition, tapering off of Paxil does matter. It's the hardest anti-depressant to withdraw from. It's O.K. to do this at a better time than now. If the medication helps you, don't be so quick to want to get off of it. Wait until things calm down with your dad, etc. There's no deadline.
You're not a failure. You will be O.K. Just do the program over again, and you will feel better. It's O.K. Be nice to yourself. This is the time to be loving and nice to yourself more than ever.
help! anxiety back after a year
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ronda stephens
- Posts: 42
- Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:40 am
luvpiggy:
Thank you so much for your kind words. I started the program again yesterday. I always have a CD in my car, so I sort of feel like I never stopped, but I want to do it again the whole thing. I feel a little like the the program program is anti-medication, and the "ideal" is to do it without medication, or to at least get off medications. It helped me to hear your perspective. I met with my psychiatrist yesterday and we decided to go back to 5mg, so it's not the whole way back up, but the point at where I started to have problems. I have to be able to handle problems like my Dad having surgery. Really it could be more serious next time. Life is difficult. I took 2mg valium before bed...I know that is a ridiculously low dose but I still feel bad about that, but I am glad I did because I still woke a bunch of times in the night. Insomnia is one of my worst triggers. I am still unsure of what my day will hold. My throat, chest, and stomach are tight, but I am trying to rally and go to work. Yesterday was a bust, I cried most of the day but I did manage to fit in my kid's doctor appt., a stop at his school, and to see my shrink so I guess I managed. It is tough. I will take your words to heart and try to be nice to myself today.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I started the program again yesterday. I always have a CD in my car, so I sort of feel like I never stopped, but I want to do it again the whole thing. I feel a little like the the program program is anti-medication, and the "ideal" is to do it without medication, or to at least get off medications. It helped me to hear your perspective. I met with my psychiatrist yesterday and we decided to go back to 5mg, so it's not the whole way back up, but the point at where I started to have problems. I have to be able to handle problems like my Dad having surgery. Really it could be more serious next time. Life is difficult. I took 2mg valium before bed...I know that is a ridiculously low dose but I still feel bad about that, but I am glad I did because I still woke a bunch of times in the night. Insomnia is one of my worst triggers. I am still unsure of what my day will hold. My throat, chest, and stomach are tight, but I am trying to rally and go to work. Yesterday was a bust, I cried most of the day but I did manage to fit in my kid's doctor appt., a stop at his school, and to see my shrink so I guess I managed. It is tough. I will take your words to heart and try to be nice to myself today.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
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Guest
Sleepless Mom,
You did so much more than manage yesterday. You did great:)! If you want to put things into perspective, I'm anti-med for me because of the problems I have with medications with my sensitivities and not because anyone who takes them is a failure, and I am telling you to stay on the medication for right now:). I just think that with the program you will be able to see how great you are really doing, and it is just negative thinking that's hurting you. You know, is crying not allowed? It's o.k. to cry. That's a high standard to say you can't cry if that's what you were saying. You didn't feel well yesterday, and you still took care of yourself. That's a very big deal. I will pray that your day goes well, and I am glad you are going to be nice to yourself.
Take Care and God Bless You
You did so much more than manage yesterday. You did great:)! If you want to put things into perspective, I'm anti-med for me because of the problems I have with medications with my sensitivities and not because anyone who takes them is a failure, and I am telling you to stay on the medication for right now:). I just think that with the program you will be able to see how great you are really doing, and it is just negative thinking that's hurting you. You know, is crying not allowed? It's o.k. to cry. That's a high standard to say you can't cry if that's what you were saying. You didn't feel well yesterday, and you still took care of yourself. That's a very big deal. I will pray that your day goes well, and I am glad you are going to be nice to yourself.
Take Care and God Bless You
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Guest
I just wanted to say one more thing that may help you with your feelings of failure. I know I already said that Paxil is one of the most difficult anti-depressants to wean off of so if you are having withdrawal symptoms don't automatically assume that it was your anxiety that came back and that the work you had put in on the program in the past wasn't fruitful. There's just no way to know that right now:). Also give yourself credit for not going back to your original dose. Something must be working for you not to have to do that, right:)?
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Guest
YOU are NOT a failure!!! We are all not failures, ok? I did the program back in March, and this Monday I had my first real panic attack since the program. I hadn't gotten any sleep!
I don't have advice on how to get to sleep, but just KNOW that it is a major source of anxiety. Use kind self-talk. Speak to yourself like you would speak to your loved ones when they are hurting.
Don't feel like needing meds is a failure. I take Paxil. I realized that right now, in this time, it's the only thing keeping me from scary obsessive thoughts. If you need it, use it. It doesn't mean you will need it forever. It doesn't mean you are a failure. Please be kind to yourself.
I don't have advice on how to get to sleep, but just KNOW that it is a major source of anxiety. Use kind self-talk. Speak to yourself like you would speak to your loved ones when they are hurting.
Don't feel like needing meds is a failure. I take Paxil. I realized that right now, in this time, it's the only thing keeping me from scary obsessive thoughts. If you need it, use it. It doesn't mean you will need it forever. It doesn't mean you are a failure. Please be kind to yourself.
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Guest
luvpiggy:Thought you'd want to know my psychiatrist agrees with you! He said it is probably because I worked so hard on my skills that I wasn't on 20 mg or more to begin with, and he doesn't have anyone on as low as 5 mg. I am feeling better this morning, still a little anxious but it doesn't have control of me. Spacey too but that is probably due to the recent changes in meds so I am just floating with it and not letting it get to me. Yesterday I managed to go to work and out to a previously scheduled lunch with two co-workers, and I was proud that I managed that without having to tell anyone I was having some personal problems. The first time in summer 2006, my nervous breakdown was pretty public among my 2 coworkers (I guess I don't hide things very well! They are good people and were really kind about it). I did talk to my boss about taking a couple hours of vacation this week to 'attend to some personal matters', so that is my way of taking it a little slow this week. I always get so stressed when I have too many things to do. That is what I need to work on. Thanks again...I really appreciated your kindness yesterday.
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Guest
RoseQ: I really appreciated your perspective. I need to use positive talk and say "I am grateful for this small amount of medication that is helping me through a rough time." I know what you mean about insomnia...I just bought Tammy's book "A Time to Sleep" about changing your sleep attitude. Lack of sleep,even one or two nights, really throws me for a loop. I'll continue to try to under-react to it. I guess the best thing, when experiencing a growth spurt, is to move forward, and it is obvious I am NOT back where I started. This week is improving each day.
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Guest
I had a major setback this weekend. I thought things were improving this week, then I woke up a bunch of times with anxiety (shakes, teeth chattering) Friday and Saturday night, and completely fell apart hysterical this morning. It's almost as bad as it was before I found the StressCenter.com but at least I know what it is this time, and hopefully what will set me straight again. I am struggling to counter the negative thoughts. I didn't think I would be this bad again.
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Guest
Sleepless Mom,
I'm so sorry. That can't be fun, but it's going to be O.K. You have many options, and you still have the fact that you have been withdrawing from a medication to consider. Maybe telling yourself some of the following will help: "O.K., it's this bad again. I've been through it before, and although it wasn't fun by any means, I dealt with it, and it definitely didn't kill me. I got better before, and I can get better again."
You already mentioned that you know what it is, and you have the program. I think that's a big step.
I'm praying for you.
God Bless You,
luvpiggy
I'm so sorry. That can't be fun, but it's going to be O.K. You have many options, and you still have the fact that you have been withdrawing from a medication to consider. Maybe telling yourself some of the following will help: "O.K., it's this bad again. I've been through it before, and although it wasn't fun by any means, I dealt with it, and it definitely didn't kill me. I got better before, and I can get better again."
You already mentioned that you know what it is, and you have the program. I think that's a big step.
I'm praying for you.
God Bless You,
luvpiggy