lost my job, my wife>loneliness

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:15 am

First of all, I am a medical professional. I have a BS in Nursing, with my minor in Psycology. With that being said, and I don't like to dispute advice, he CANNOT move on without "dealing" with the problem at hand. If he is that distraught, no amount of exercise is going to take away the feelings of betrayal and insecurity that he is suffering.

Something really strange has been happening on this forum lately. I admit, I am not a real religious person, but I do believe in our God, and I do look to him for "healing". My anxiety and depression, however, haven't been healed in more than 25 years. Not through any fault of my own, I might add. But, I do think that far too much religion is being pushed on people anymore. Religion is a choice, and shouldn't, in my opinion, be suggested as "the way out" of the disorders that we suffer from. While, praying to our God, whomever yours maybe, is spiritually healthy, it IS NOT a cure all for most.

Sorry, just my two cents. I still believe that in order for Rick to move forward with his marriage, he and his wife need to seek the services of a professional. Men deal wit issues in a much different manner than women. The biggest and most important difference, they don't normally talk about it, and they NEED to have someone they trust, and can let down their "machoism" with.

Best of everything to you, Rick.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 2:13 am

Hi all,

I would just like to say that expression of religious beliefs are another form of free speech and everyone is entitled to their own beliefs even if we may disagree, as long as we do so civilly. Perhaps some people's beliefs lay in a secular God with no power. However, other people have a faith in a God that is all mighty and full able to do all things!

In many respects men and women are different and need to be minister to differently, but an All powerful and all knowing God doesn't have a problem with any of it. See the Almighty that I believe in created the universe and everything that is in it, by simply speaking it into existence. My God uses the heavens as His throne and the earth as His foot stool, and is fully capable and able to do all things, at all times. In fact He is timeless, and is the author of space and time so no problem is too big or too small. Other people may have a God that is incapable of doing a thing, because they are inanimate objects or things with no power whatsoever.

My God indwells each and every one that is sealed in His Spirit of Love, and empowers His people to move with compassion to help others when the others cry out. So why would anyone want to remove people that stand ready to move with compassion and love to help someone crying out for help? I would think that logic would dictate that you would want every available resource that may be of help if you were in the position that cried out for help rather than usher out those that are moved in such a way.

I have been healed of my affliction, and I stand at the ready to show others how I did it. Is there something wrong with that? I can tell you that it is not a boast about my ability; but of the one who saved and healed me. My God is not Lucinda Bassett or this program, but many of the principles that were shorthanded from Biblical principles and merged with theoretical human understanding of these disorders, but my healer was Jesus Christ and He is not short handed in His care and healing as some might choose to believe! To wit I am unashamed to confess openly, Jesus saved and healed me! However, some here have a problem with that and would rather have still others believe otherwise. I wonder why?

My dear friend Rick, I sent you a private message. Perhaps, you are unaware of all the capabilities that this message board server has and I just want to let you know that I am serious about yoking myself with you and Jesus working in me to help you in anyway I may be able to.

I have to get going for now. I will pray for you again, but it would be good to hear back from you to let us know how you are making out. During this trial you are undergoing, things many seem so overwhelming, just remember that it is not in our power or might that our mountains will be moved or brought down into a plain, but by His Spirit (Zec. 4:6-7).

I really care and I want to help brother. I mean it.

Have a blessed day.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:15 am

Rick
Please post again soon. I think the consensus is we are all concerned about you and want things to be better for you all around. With your body, mind, and spirit.We all are here because of our anxiety or depression and know how very hard that can be to live with. Take heart dear friend. We are all pulling for you.

Jill

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 3:25 am

Rich,
I was where you were, I do agree exercise. The chemicals in your brain that help you relax, function, and sleep are triggered by exercise. Force yourself, one foot in front of the other out the door. Come back, shower and go make yourself a very healthy meal. Take natural supplements for stress and well being and take one second at a time, then one minute at a time, and then one hour at a time and you will grow, what happens from there, who knows, but you will grow.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 3:20 am

I would suggest a website called FamilyLife.org, they had a daily radio show that deals with issues like these. Also, they present a program called "Weekend to Remember" which is an awesome, life changing event. Alot of it has to do with communication and as previous posters have said how women and men see things differently. There are many practical tips and ways to get through this. I think it would benefit you and help rebuild your marriage. I also agree with everyone on the exercise front! I definitely see and feel a difference when I exercise and when I miss it.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you!

"C"

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:35 am

Hi Rick. I am a veteran of the StressCenter.com program, having successfully graduated early last autumn. I had fallen into such deep depression, I could not function. I had been absolutely cruising after the program. Life was finally good again. Last month I walked in on a man I've had a difficult rocky relationship with. He was with another woman. I sat in shock for about two weeks. The past two weeks I've been addressing my anger. Two weeks from today I have to endure all the STD tests available. My doc is a friend, so explaining the reason I'm there for these tests will be stressful. I live in a small town. Seems so many people knew this was happening. These same people watched me struggle out of severe depression, knowing he was seeing the other woman the entire time. He and I had gotten back together earlier this year because it's what HE wanted to do. I was concerned about his intentions because he'd betrayed me once in the past. Because I am in the middle of similar suffering, I don't have advice for you. I am falling back on this program. I am also finding a great deal of relief from my friends. But, a word of caution. ALL my friends have their own points of view about betrayal and infidelity. You and I have to first be true to what is right for us. We have to reach a place where we've healed enough to make that decision. I am a therapist and a counselor, and I have all those skills and tools. I also now have all the StressCenter.com skills and tools to work with. I know I will be okay when I get through this mess. But in the early stages there will be suffering, insecurity, anxiety, doubt, anger, and pure grief. These emotions contain powerful energy. What we do with the energy is what matters. I agree one hundred percent with tackling the obsessive thinking. It does not help. Obsessive thinking throws us into the endless circle. If we stay there, we will not heal and find our way out of this storm. I use the tools from this program to tackle that circular thinking. I will briefly share a few things that are working for me: session three is basic, because what we tell ourselves can stir us into a fit, or calm us down; session six is basic, because as soon as we allow our anger to consume us, we believe our significant other caused our misery. We blame them for all our suffering. Actually, the roots of our suffering is the anger that dwells inside ourselves. You and I have to transform our anger into something positive. One day, when we have reached the other side of the infidelity, we will be our true selves, and we will be strong and confident. We will be capable of a good life. With or without them. We aren't there, yet. We have to work through so much. But we can do this. I can do this. You can do this. This program will help you more than anything, because it returns you to your true self in a very good positive way. I wish us both the strength we need to continue down the path we must walk toward healing.

Majcric · Post by **Majcric** » Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:18 am

Hi Pecos:
I am glad to hear from you again.
Sure sorry you are going thru' some rough waters but I am pretty sure you'll be okay.
Seems like our hearts get us in to trouble .

You give good advice. And the best part is you use that advice yourself.

I often have thought of you this past year.
I thought maybe you were out there living 'happily ever after'.
But life just doesn't seem to work out that way all the time.

You are very welocme on this forum , you know.

Wishing you peace and many other blessings.
MJ

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 12:24 pm

Hi Mary Jane! So wonderful to see your message here. Thank you for welcoming me back onto the forum. I return so seldom, but have been dealing all summer with one huge Growth Spurt. Don't mean to hijack this thread. Just wanted to say hello.