Am I Evil?

Comments and inquiries to share with others. (Questions for Staff can be posted below.)
SeaRunner
Posts: 352
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:06 am

Post by SeaRunner » Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:27 am

Thank you GMan and Mrs. T. for your posts. I know you are sincerely trying to offer help. Obviously I have conflicting thoughts on this issue and this discussion is only scratching the surface. My thoughts and concerns go much deeper than I have posted so far since I don't want to turn this forum into a theology debate. But I will take your words to heart and continue to ask God for guidance.

Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters

barbgavon
Posts: 52
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:07 pm

Post by barbgavon » Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:29 am

SeaRunner,

I don't believe your evil in the fact you're searching and really have a desire to please the Lord. I read the other comments and really do agree with Ms.T however I had a brother (half) only met once because at first I had a hard time accepting him being gay. When I finally was accepting of that he was into new age and Budha. I have had such mixed feelings since his death. For one, I truly wish I had gotten to know him better. He once told me he didn't care about the sexual relationship, all he really wanted was love. The only one to give TRUE LOVE is God himself.

I'm not going to write this scripture all out so please look it up. 1 Cor. 6:9-11 In there it lists greedy, thieves, drunkards, slanderers and swindlers who also will not enter the kingdom of kGod besides homosexuals. vs.18-20clearly state we were bought with a price and are to honor God with our body.

I'm not here to preach at you. As you continue to read the Bible and speak to God, He WILL speak to you. Was there ever a time you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?

There may be a part of you comfortable with this lifestyle because as you said you have no desire for women in a sexual way. Could it be because you were hurt by women or rejected by them. I do believe also if you truly seek God, search for help in the right places you can be delivered. We are all given choices. My eyes are more open to accept homosexuals, and I have a friend now whose transgender. I haven't begun to understand all this and I'm wanting so much to be Christlike. There really is a stigma or prejudice. I'm bi-polar and many times people hear that and put me in a certain category or don't ask her to do that she's bi-polar, ADD etc. God sees us and loves us as we are.

Have you seen the movie "Prayers for Bobby"?. That was a real eye opener to me as well. The mom was so religious or Christian. She loved her son so much but couldn't accept his lifestyle. He killed himself because he was torn inside. My mom had a neighbor who was gay and she talked to him. Many people in their mobile home park rejected him including my step dad. He killed himself. This is certainly not what God wants. We are to love and we want to love you. We want you to KNOW God's love and help thru this. How do you know God won't use you to be delivered and to help other homosexuals be delivered. He may be waiting to use you in ministry. Please don't think I'm crazy!! You just wonder why sometimes. I've wondered why all my life I wanted a brother or sister being an only child only to find out much later in life I had this homosexual brother. So what was that all about Lord??? Maybe to have more compassion?? Show mercy, kindness and love as our Lord does???

I would like you to check a book out. I believe you can look it up on amazon.com and find the author. The book is "Love Won Out" or you could write FOCUS ON THE FAMILY or go to their website. I think there's counselors there who really could help you if you want it. This couple in the book were both gay. They later were delivered, met each other and got married. It shows pictures of each of them being the opposite sex. I know there is hope for you. Please understand this wasn't easy for me to write. I do care and want to help in any way I can. I will be praying for you Jamie.

Barb

barbgavon
Posts: 52
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:07 pm

Post by barbgavon » Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:39 am

I also wanted to say I had 2 friends who died of AIDS. One I had been a childhood friend with and I thought we were good friends. When he moved and was in ROTC we wrote. Before he died of AIDS he said he didn't remember me. I couldn't believe it.

The other person I went to high school with. He was married to my friend and I always would say he's a queer. Back then that's what they said. When they were getting a divorce my other friend said "you know why" I said "no I don't". She said, "you always said he was a queer."
I say all this only to say God is working on me to teach me not to judge thru all this as well. My heart really goes out to you. Please keep in touch.

louie angelone
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:47 pm

Post by louie angelone » Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:59 am

of course you are not evil, searunner. god made you just the way he wanted you. that mean god in the old testament does not exist. it is only literature. maybe you should explore different religions. i have gay relatives whom i love very much. God loves them and he loves you too. louie

bevhembree
Posts: 275
Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:44 am

Post by bevhembree » Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:01 am

Searunner, I don't know that I can say much that hasn't been said. I don't believe you are evil. As said, I am impressed with your overwhleming desire to please God. If only we could all be in that nature, the world would be a better place.
I have gay friends and family members and believe they have no more control over their sexual desires than who I feel sexually attracted to. I don't believe GOd makes mistakes. That leaves a big "WHY" question doesn't it?
My preacher is prejudice and condemns it often and it infuriates me. He doesn't address the couple living together there, the terrible gossipers who kill others' reputations with their talks, the ones with anger who take it out on family, the vain and prideful, etc, etc, etc- the problems in our own small church that aren't hidden. If sin is sin in the eyes of God, they are no better. I am no better. We all sin.
I believe He loves us each unconditionally as He knew us before He created us and knows the number of hairs on our head. Let me say no one can judge another unless he is sinless. I would personally rather you not be married where you can't give 100% love to her and live a "lie" in a sense. I was married to a man not interested in sex for 11 years and the hurt was/is unbearable to rethink about. I couldn't ask you to be without companionship either. Celibacy is a possibility but it's your choice and between you and God. I don't know if I could do it so I certainly won't push it as an answer for you.
I wish I had an answer for you. I admire your search, humility and your desire again to please the Lord. I have to ask how someone who so genuinely wants to be in God's good graces be a bad or an evil person. You are definitely inspiring me in my walk with the Lord, I have lots of room for improvement.
Best to you- all the best. Message me anytime you need to talk or I'm on Facebook.
Beverly Word Hembree
"Here and happy because of my three little angels- Marie, Chad and Cady."

HelpingHands
Posts: 14
Joined: Thu Oct 22, 2009 3:30 pm

Post by HelpingHands » Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:11 am

For me this has always been a topic that has been hard to determine. I can only begin to IMAGINE the struggle that you are going through amongst yourself. As a saved christian myself, I know that ALLLLLL sins are created equal. Continue to look to God for help with this, he will deliver you one way or the other. He never lets you down, and quite frankly you do not need ANY other opinion on the matter. Best of luck to you, and I will truly keep you in my prayers!

ronda stephens
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:40 am

Post by ronda stephens » Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:38 am

:)Bless your heart Jamie...As you can see, you are touching our hearts and every person here has responded with compassion.

I definitly can see only the surface is being scratched.

It is a courageous step to take to ask this question. You are trying your best to confront your anxiety. Asking this question foreshadows another great change in your life if you have the fortitude to follow through on the answer your soul longs to hear.

My question to you is this? Why would you let anything get in the way of Your relationship with God, the lover of your soul?

It is a decision I made. I couldn't stand being seperate from God any longer. I am not gay, but I am human with the same basic sex drive as has been granted to all.

I have chosen celibacy over fornication. I was devastated in the beginning to realize that, that part of my life is gone for now. I suffered some in the beginning. We tend to attach a lot of value to our sexual attraction and activity. Those are worldly values for the most part.

Contrary to the belief that celibacy is not healthy, I am the healthiest person I know! Go figure!?! I'm not advocating it, but you need to know, it is not an impossible choice. It is not fatal.

More importantly, my sexual decisions do not keep me from drawing closer to God. He never left. I was the one with shame, not him.

I know you are longing for him, not religion. If that was true, you would already be in church. In this age, we have churches of every flavor. Even in the Podunk town I live in, we have a church where Gays are welcomed. So that really isn't the issue, is it?

Will you choose God or will you choose the world? Will you side with your flesh, or will you honor your spirit?

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Gman5256
Posts: 310
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:27 pm

Post by Gman5256 » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:12 am

Hi all,

I believe everyone is entitled to have and express their opinion, but what matters most is not what I or you think about what God says, but what God actually tells us on any given matter, and that helps to lead us to truth and not opinion or judgment.
In Proverbs 3:5 (NAS) it reads:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; And do not lean on your own understanding.


If you would like to see it in your own bible you can probably find it on this site:

http://www.biblegateway.com/pa...ov.%203&version=NASB

It appears to me from the basic premise of the simple question of whether homosexuality is a sin? I believe everyone must know that it is. Period! Is this conduct evil? Yes! In fact it is called an abomination. Here is a search engine you might find useful for specific words used in the bible, what they mean and where to find them in the bible:

http://www.picosearch.com/cgi-bin/ts.pl

Please insert the word Homosexuality and abomination so that you will understand the fuller meaning, and find out what God's word says about it.

Here is another very good bible search engine:

http://bible.oneplace.com/sear...ible&translation=nas

It is nice to be able to express your opinion, but it is often so much better to have that opinion better informed with mandatory sources. The discussion is a biblical one about sin, specifically, homosexuality.

I see that a great deal of the discussion here is also well covered in 2 Tim 3:

http://www.biblegateway.com/pa...Tim%203&version=NASB

Searunner, I think you are at the beginning of an ongoing search for truth. Seek to draw nearer to God and set aside opinions or discussions not relevant to answers for your search for truth and use the free resources noted above. Sin is sin, and that does cause separation between us and God. That's why it is called sin in the first place.

I will say this again least anyone judge me improperly, I am not judging Searunner or anyone: God loves the sinner, but He hates the sin. We all have to work out our salvation and there is only one way to Salvation, and that is through Christ Jesus: the truth, the way, and the life. Moreover, no man can stand on his own merit least the wrath of God come upon them.

I found a sermon covering the matter of sin, with very clear graphic analogy Here: http://www.preceptaustin.org/m...n_on_2samuel_pt2.htm

I found this with an exact phrase search of: God loves the sinner
"...you cannot be blessedly and peacefully near God, unless you are far away from sin. If you take two polished plates of metal, and lay them together, they will adhere. If you put half a dozen tiny grains of sand or dust between them, they will fall apart. So our sins have come between us and our God. They have not separated God from us, blessed be His name! for His love, and His care, and His desire to bless, His thought, and His knowledge, and His tenderness, all come to every soul of man. But they have rent us apart from Him, in so far as they make us unwilling to be near Him, incapable of receiving the truest nearness and blessedness of His presence, and sometimes desirous to hustle Him out of our thoughts, and, if we could, out of our world, rather than to expatiate in the calm sunlight of His presence.

That banishment is self-inflicted. God spurns away no man, but men spurn Him, and flee from Him. Many of us know what it is to pass whole days, and weeks, and years, as practical Atheists. God is not in all our thoughts.

And more than that, the miserable disgrace and solitude of a soul that is godless in the world is what many of us like. The Prodigal Son scraped all his goods together, and thought himself freed from a very unwelcome bondage, and a fine independent youth, when he went away into ‘the far country.’ It was not quite so pleasant when provisions and clothing fell short, and the swine’s trough was the only table that was spread before him. But yet there are many of us, I fear, who are perfectly comfortable away from God, in so far as we can get away from Him, and who never are aware of the degradation that lies in a soul’s having lowered itself to this, that it had rather not have God inconveniently near..."


If I seemed to have gotten engrossed on this sermon, I did. As hard as I search in the content, I could not find the exact phrase that is supposed to have been in there as found by the search engine. No one is perfect. Not even search engines. :D

Searunner, I am not homosexual. I'll be the first to admit, I don't understand it, but I am here for you to try to help you.

If you would like to discuss developing an intimate relationship with God so that He will draw nearer to you, as you draw near to Him, with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, I am just a private message away. I will not bite or beat you up about anything, but would love to help and forbear with you with this burden that you feel and I think I know must be weighing you down.

With God's help, for there is nothing impossible with God, He will deliver you from the torment that you must feel. It is a spiritual battle going on, and because of the conviction the Holy Spirit has put in your heart, the demonic forces are pulling and tossing you from side to side as they struggle to keep you in this bondage. That is what I believe is truly going on.

Sorry if this seemed a bit long, but there are no easy answers.
All for His praise, glory and the joy it gives Him.

Hugs, In His Love >:D<

Gman9259
"He who dwells in the secret place of the most
high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty"

barbgavon
Posts: 52
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:07 pm

Post by barbgavon » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:55 am

Jamie,

I'm back again. I see people really care about you, the anxiety you're experiencing and the pain. Because of anxiety,we are more sensitive. Because we're sensitive, we want what's best for you. I know you will make the right decision.

Ronda posted about Jesus is the Lover of your soul and because of that I want to post a short song I wrote a few years ago.

LOVER OF MY SOUL

Oh Lord, you're the lover of my soul
You are the Lover that never lets go
What can I give to bring pleasure to you
What can I do to make my love true.

He is the lover of your soul for sure. I pray you will experience that real soon.

God bless you dear one.

Barb

louie angelone
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:47 pm

Post by louie angelone » Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:00 am

you guys out there preaching, need to stop. it's the ocd.

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