Hi:
I am just starting the program, but both my children, ages 20 and 14 know about my depression. I have been so depressed over the last two years I could not hide it. At first they just seemed to shuffle it off, you know teens the world is all about them. However as I got worse they seemed to understand that something was wrong with me, but didn't understand what. I tried to explain the depression to them and give them material to read. Now they are accepting of it and me. It helps me not to feel so guilty for not being the most attentive mother. The understand when I can't go places. My younger daughter, 14, watched the infomercial with me about this program and kept encouraging me to get it. Then when I did order it she kept asking when it would come...when it came she called me at work very excited.
I think over all they want me to feel better. they both hold me when I cry and don't really ask any questions of what is wrong they just know. I hope you will find the courage to help your children understand your situation. It really has been a blessing to me.
Good luck
Cris
Advice Needed - What to Tell My Kids?
thank you Cris, for responding. It sounds like you have a very warm, open relationship with your children. I've always hidden behind my veil of anxiety, and have never been very good at talking about things openly with my children, so it feels so overwhelming to even think about telling them about my anxiety. Maybe as the program progesses, and hopefully my self confidence strenghtens and I feel calmer inside, I'll be able to broach the topic with them.
Thank you again,
Elisheva
Thank you again,
Elisheva
Hi mumpy,
What do you mean that your kids have inherited or learned about your anxious genes?
My oldest daughter just asked me again about the tapes, and I didn't answer her.(I couldn't!) She says I have too many secrets! She's right, and the longer I put off telling her/them, the bigger deal it becomes. I'm just going to tell them it's a set of tapes dealing with stress, which is certainly not a lie, but not the complete truth. It's the best I can do at this point. Maybe one day I can discuss the issue with them more in length, but perhaps it's not necessary. Children don't need to know everything about their parents.
Elisheva
What do you mean that your kids have inherited or learned about your anxious genes?
My oldest daughter just asked me again about the tapes, and I didn't answer her.(I couldn't!) She says I have too many secrets! She's right, and the longer I put off telling her/them, the bigger deal it becomes. I'm just going to tell them it's a set of tapes dealing with stress, which is certainly not a lie, but not the complete truth. It's the best I can do at this point. Maybe one day I can discuss the issue with them more in length, but perhaps it's not necessary. Children don't need to know everything about their parents.
Elisheva
Hi Elisheva,
My older son saw a psychologist for school anxiety and a lot of what she told me was just exactly what I go through. It was very upsetting to hear. But at the same time - I know that my kids are going to get both the good and the bad from me.
I"m 100% sure that my kids know that I have anxiety because even though I don't discuss it with them - kids pick up that kind of thing.
I know you are very against it - but you know it might help them as much as you if you were just to tell them.
Can I ask what form your anxiety takes? I have panic attacks and a bus phobia (not connected to piguim). I am also newly pregnant after doing IVF at HMC and am on high level panic. So I need to find somethign or someone in Israel to help me asap.
Keep in touch.
Love mumpy
My older son saw a psychologist for school anxiety and a lot of what she told me was just exactly what I go through. It was very upsetting to hear. But at the same time - I know that my kids are going to get both the good and the bad from me.
I"m 100% sure that my kids know that I have anxiety because even though I don't discuss it with them - kids pick up that kind of thing.
I know you are very against it - but you know it might help them as much as you if you were just to tell them.
Can I ask what form your anxiety takes? I have panic attacks and a bus phobia (not connected to piguim). I am also newly pregnant after doing IVF at HMC and am on high level panic. So I need to find somethign or someone in Israel to help me asap.
Keep in touch.
Love mumpy
Originally posted by Elisheva:
Hi mumpy,
What do you mean that your kids have inherited or learned about your anxious genes?
My oldest daughter just asked me again about the tapes, and I didn't answer her.(I couldn't!) She says I have too many secrets! She's right, and the longer I put off telling her/them, the bigger deal it becomes. I'm just going to tell them it's a set of tapes dealing with stress, which is certainly not a lie, but not the complete truth. It's the best I can do at this point. Maybe one day I can discuss the issue with them more in length, but perhaps it's not necessary. Children don't need to know everything about their parents.
Elisheva
Hi Mumpy,
Thanks for your reply. I'am not "against" telling my kids about my anxiety, it's just that it's hard for me. But, I think you are right - it will be good for them, and for me, to tell them. I grew up with so many secrets in our family ( you know - it's all hush-hush), that it drove me crazy (not literally), and I really want my family to be more honest and open, so I think I will just have to do it. I've done the first week of the program, and have started feeling calmer already, so maybe at some point in the next few weeks, I'll be able to tell them.
About my anxiety, although I think I've had some panic attacks, mine is more of generalized anxiety. I have alot of heart palpitations, and a general nervousness about certain things (like travelling, flying, etc.). I've never let it stop me from doing things, but I've had to suffer with the anxiety while doing them. I also have had quite a bit of obsessive thinking about terrible things that might happen.
What kind of help are you looking for? A support group? A therapist? If you could tell me which general area you live in, I could find out about a cognitive behavioral therapist in your area.(That's what this program is based on)
Are you doing this program? Is it helping you?
All the best,
Elisheva
Thanks for your reply. I'am not "against" telling my kids about my anxiety, it's just that it's hard for me. But, I think you are right - it will be good for them, and for me, to tell them. I grew up with so many secrets in our family ( you know - it's all hush-hush), that it drove me crazy (not literally), and I really want my family to be more honest and open, so I think I will just have to do it. I've done the first week of the program, and have started feeling calmer already, so maybe at some point in the next few weeks, I'll be able to tell them.
About my anxiety, although I think I've had some panic attacks, mine is more of generalized anxiety. I have alot of heart palpitations, and a general nervousness about certain things (like travelling, flying, etc.). I've never let it stop me from doing things, but I've had to suffer with the anxiety while doing them. I also have had quite a bit of obsessive thinking about terrible things that might happen.
What kind of help are you looking for? A support group? A therapist? If you could tell me which general area you live in, I could find out about a cognitive behavioral therapist in your area.(That's what this program is based on)
Are you doing this program? Is it helping you?
All the best,
Elisheva
HI Elisheva,
That's great that you haven't let it impact your life - really fantastic!! Unfortunately - I have totally limited my life as a result of my panic and phobias. I'm not doing this program - I just happend to come across the boards by google. I"m actually trying to get in touch with an EFT practioner in Israel at the moment as I've had some success with this in the past. But I'd like to see a CBT as well (can't hurt right?). The panic is overwhelming me - I promised to take my kids to Ikea this afternoon and I"m SO SCARED of fainting or being sick there or god forbid - miscarrying there. It's terrible to be like this. I live in Netanya btw - where do you live? Bet Shemesh?
Love mumpy
That's great that you haven't let it impact your life - really fantastic!! Unfortunately - I have totally limited my life as a result of my panic and phobias. I'm not doing this program - I just happend to come across the boards by google. I"m actually trying to get in touch with an EFT practioner in Israel at the moment as I've had some success with this in the past. But I'd like to see a CBT as well (can't hurt right?). The panic is overwhelming me - I promised to take my kids to Ikea this afternoon and I"m SO SCARED of fainting or being sick there or god forbid - miscarrying there. It's terrible to be like this. I live in Netanya btw - where do you live? Bet Shemesh?
Love mumpy
Hi Mumpy,
Why aren't you doing the program? Especially if your phobias and panic attacks are limiting your life so much. I feel very strongly that this is THE ADDRESS if someone is suffering from anxiety and panic disorders. I've been through therapy and tried working on my issues that route, but it didn't help with my anxiety. It seems that this program has helped tens of thousands of people like us that suffer from this, so why not try it out? It's very comprehensive in that it touches on so many aspects and issues. I'm just about to start my second week/tape, and already I'm getting these moments of feeling like "the old me", which I haven't felt in such a long time. Of feeling much more calm and comfortable with myself, instead of always feeling on edge. And it's just the beginning!
Anyway, I would prefer to keep where I live to myself, but I do live in the north of Israel.
Good luck, I hope the Ikea trip went smoothly. I'm sure it did, because all this craziness is just in out minds!!!!
Take care,
Elisheva
PS. You should know that I work VERY HARD to not let my anxiety get the best of me. I must override my anxious feelings and hang on to the logical side of me which allows me to do things that I feel anxious about.
Why aren't you doing the program? Especially if your phobias and panic attacks are limiting your life so much. I feel very strongly that this is THE ADDRESS if someone is suffering from anxiety and panic disorders. I've been through therapy and tried working on my issues that route, but it didn't help with my anxiety. It seems that this program has helped tens of thousands of people like us that suffer from this, so why not try it out? It's very comprehensive in that it touches on so many aspects and issues. I'm just about to start my second week/tape, and already I'm getting these moments of feeling like "the old me", which I haven't felt in such a long time. Of feeling much more calm and comfortable with myself, instead of always feeling on edge. And it's just the beginning!
Anyway, I would prefer to keep where I live to myself, but I do live in the north of Israel.
Good luck, I hope the Ikea trip went smoothly. I'm sure it did, because all this craziness is just in out minds!!!!
Take care,
Elisheva
PS. You should know that I work VERY HARD to not let my anxiety get the best of me. I must override my anxious feelings and hang on to the logical side of me which allows me to do things that I feel anxious about.
Hi Elisheva, I found someone who does EFT and NLP and guided imagery in Ramat Gan and I"m going to see her on Sunday. I don't know why I"m not doing this program - I guess if I"m on this board - I should look into it right?
Anyway - I did some major EFT tapping before Ikea and thank god it worked! I"m so proud of myself - the worst bit was in the taxi on the way home and I thought what if I have a panic attack and I have to get out of the taxi and what will my children do??? But I successfuly controlled that.
I used to live in the North as well - so beautiful up there - but we moved to Netanya coz of our jobs.
Love mumpy
ps I think it's great that you work hard on your anxiety and can control it. I hope I get to that stage soon!
Anyway - I did some major EFT tapping before Ikea and thank god it worked! I"m so proud of myself - the worst bit was in the taxi on the way home and I thought what if I have a panic attack and I have to get out of the taxi and what will my children do??? But I successfuly controlled that.
I used to live in the North as well - so beautiful up there - but we moved to Netanya coz of our jobs.
Love mumpy
ps I think it's great that you work hard on your anxiety and can control it. I hope I get to that stage soon!
Hi Mumpy,
I'm not sure what EFT and NLP are, but I hope this woman in Ramat Gan is able to help you. Kol HaKavod that you are seeking help for this. I think it's great.
Let me clarify something. When I work on "controlling" my anxiety, it just means I'm able to over ride it and not let it limit me. If I'm having anxiety about travelling somewhere, I work on putting all those fears and negative thoughts out of my mind, so I'm able to go, rather than succumbing to my fears and not go. This is the work that I do. I hope that with this program, that all those fears and thoughts will stop eventually. I'm not controlling my anxiety so that it's less - I'm just not giving in to it so it limits what I do. I think you do exactly the same thing. You went to Ikea, even though you were very nervous about having all kinds of things happen to you.
Anyway, good luck with the therapist. At the same time, you can also get a free trial of the program to try it out. The session I listened to last night was on panic attacks!
Feel good and take care of yourself during your pregnancy (pamper yourself!!),
Elisheva
I'm not sure what EFT and NLP are, but I hope this woman in Ramat Gan is able to help you. Kol HaKavod that you are seeking help for this. I think it's great.
Let me clarify something. When I work on "controlling" my anxiety, it just means I'm able to over ride it and not let it limit me. If I'm having anxiety about travelling somewhere, I work on putting all those fears and negative thoughts out of my mind, so I'm able to go, rather than succumbing to my fears and not go. This is the work that I do. I hope that with this program, that all those fears and thoughts will stop eventually. I'm not controlling my anxiety so that it's less - I'm just not giving in to it so it limits what I do. I think you do exactly the same thing. You went to Ikea, even though you were very nervous about having all kinds of things happen to you.
Anyway, good luck with the therapist. At the same time, you can also get a free trial of the program to try it out. The session I listened to last night was on panic attacks!
Feel good and take care of yourself during your pregnancy (pamper yourself!!),
Elisheva