By the way, I learned how to use my sewing machine. Very satisfying.
Can not get passed Session 3
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Guest
Thank you, Mary, I will begin to write things down. I have found that bringing attention to the anxiety that I feel has been healing at times, but also unbearable at other times. When this happens I give myself a rest from it. I hope this approach has worked for others who have completed or almost completed the program.
By the way, I learned how to use my sewing machine. Very satisfying.
By the way, I learned how to use my sewing machine. Very satisfying.
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Guest
I totally understand how you feel and I can relate. I've heard of the Abraham books, such as, "The Law of Attraction," "Ask And It Is Given," etc., which basically, like "The Secret," tells you that you can have anything you want because what you think is so powerful that it will make things materialize. That terrified me because I knew I had the power to pull in the bad by just thinking about it, which is absolutely true, but the good thing is that a positive thought is 1,000 times more powerful than a negative thought.
I've been stuck on lesson 3 as well. I actually bought the program in January of 2005 (so DON'T feel like a failure, hahaha!) and in May of this year I picked it up again. Previously I made it to session 2 and I guess because the chapter was called panic attacks, for some reason I figured that I should be able to control my panic after lesson 2. Of course, that didn't happen, so I lost interest. Soon after, I moved, put the program in a closet and didn't think of it again.
Several years went by and I was completely isolated due to anxiety. Actually, I couldn't leave the house. I hated the anxiety condition, I was miserable, but didn't start the program. Like you, I'd have a panic attack while the program just sat in the corner and I wondered how I could hate how I felt so much but couldn't find the willpower to continue the program. I suppose it's not having enough faith or confidence in the help that is available, and feeling like we don't have the strength to change, since changing would mean developing new, constructive habits, which seem too difficult. Since April of this year, there have been all sorts of negative issues, which have diluted my determination to complete the program. But I'm going to try to stick with it this time. I think about how I would have almost completed the program before now had I continued, but we beat ourselves up in this manner. It has not been the right time for you to complete the program till now, otherwise it would have happened. Don't feel bad for having difficulty, everything happens as it should.
I hated writing down my thoughts also. I'd write down a couple a day. It's been extra hard to correct my thoughts since my boyfriend and I have taken a break from our relationship. But I discovered that when I felt sick on my stomach, or panicky or sad or angry, I'd write down what I felt. On a new line, I would place an asterisk (next to the positive) and write a statement (sentence or even a paragraph) comforting myself with hope and reassurance (not extreme, but more optimistic), the way you would talk to a scared or unhappy person you care about. I actually discovered that it soothed my physical symptoms and temporarily I felt a lot better. I'd have to do it again every hour or few hours, but I have found that it really does help and initially I thought the whole concept was BS! You can go back and read where you placed the asterisk (bypassing your negative thoughts completely) and find that it will make you feel a lot better!
It is scary at first when you think about your thoughts and write them down - but you'll desensitize yourself over time and will not be affected by them anymore. You just have to face it for a little while and counter them with a positive statement; humor the program and just try it. It will feel scary and ridiculous, but it gets better. As long as you avoid getting close to your thoughts or your fears, they will have the power to control you. Only when you confront them will you truly have freedom. Remember what FEAR is: False Evidence Appearing Real
P.S. Here are some examples of what I wrote in my book:
"I'm afraid to exercise because my heart rate goes up and it stays elevated for a while afterward."
* My heart is healthy and has been checked out by numerous doctors and there are no problems. In fact, the more I exercise, the less I will be affected because as the heart grows stronger, it doesn't have to work as hard, and therefore it beats slower.
"I'm afraid I won't talk to him again! I feel awful! Is it really over??"
* He will call. He calls every single day. If it were really over, it would be clear. Things are just difficult at the moment. I am a special person who is very generous and I constantly strive to improve myself. He won't find someone like me again, and if he thinks so, he deserves to find out for himself and I shouldn't want him! Everything will be ok, just have to hang in there for a little while.
See? I think the KEY is not necessarily how you would talk to your friend, but HOW YOU WOULD WANT YOUR FRIEND TO TALK TO YOU. The very things that would comfort you or what you feel you need or would like to hear. That is true compassion for yourself. Taking care of yourself, sort of by letting your friends speak to you through your own thoughts and your own voice. You are your good friend.
(When I heard her talk about talking to yourself like you would comfort your friend, that made me think, "Well, I don't know what I'd say to a friend, I don't even know if I'm a good friend.") LOL.
I've been stuck on lesson 3 as well. I actually bought the program in January of 2005 (so DON'T feel like a failure, hahaha!) and in May of this year I picked it up again. Previously I made it to session 2 and I guess because the chapter was called panic attacks, for some reason I figured that I should be able to control my panic after lesson 2. Of course, that didn't happen, so I lost interest. Soon after, I moved, put the program in a closet and didn't think of it again.
Several years went by and I was completely isolated due to anxiety. Actually, I couldn't leave the house. I hated the anxiety condition, I was miserable, but didn't start the program. Like you, I'd have a panic attack while the program just sat in the corner and I wondered how I could hate how I felt so much but couldn't find the willpower to continue the program. I suppose it's not having enough faith or confidence in the help that is available, and feeling like we don't have the strength to change, since changing would mean developing new, constructive habits, which seem too difficult. Since April of this year, there have been all sorts of negative issues, which have diluted my determination to complete the program. But I'm going to try to stick with it this time. I think about how I would have almost completed the program before now had I continued, but we beat ourselves up in this manner. It has not been the right time for you to complete the program till now, otherwise it would have happened. Don't feel bad for having difficulty, everything happens as it should.
I hated writing down my thoughts also. I'd write down a couple a day. It's been extra hard to correct my thoughts since my boyfriend and I have taken a break from our relationship. But I discovered that when I felt sick on my stomach, or panicky or sad or angry, I'd write down what I felt. On a new line, I would place an asterisk (next to the positive) and write a statement (sentence or even a paragraph) comforting myself with hope and reassurance (not extreme, but more optimistic), the way you would talk to a scared or unhappy person you care about. I actually discovered that it soothed my physical symptoms and temporarily I felt a lot better. I'd have to do it again every hour or few hours, but I have found that it really does help and initially I thought the whole concept was BS! You can go back and read where you placed the asterisk (bypassing your negative thoughts completely) and find that it will make you feel a lot better!
It is scary at first when you think about your thoughts and write them down - but you'll desensitize yourself over time and will not be affected by them anymore. You just have to face it for a little while and counter them with a positive statement; humor the program and just try it. It will feel scary and ridiculous, but it gets better. As long as you avoid getting close to your thoughts or your fears, they will have the power to control you. Only when you confront them will you truly have freedom. Remember what FEAR is: False Evidence Appearing Real
P.S. Here are some examples of what I wrote in my book:
"I'm afraid to exercise because my heart rate goes up and it stays elevated for a while afterward."
* My heart is healthy and has been checked out by numerous doctors and there are no problems. In fact, the more I exercise, the less I will be affected because as the heart grows stronger, it doesn't have to work as hard, and therefore it beats slower.
"I'm afraid I won't talk to him again! I feel awful! Is it really over??"
* He will call. He calls every single day. If it were really over, it would be clear. Things are just difficult at the moment. I am a special person who is very generous and I constantly strive to improve myself. He won't find someone like me again, and if he thinks so, he deserves to find out for himself and I shouldn't want him! Everything will be ok, just have to hang in there for a little while.
See? I think the KEY is not necessarily how you would talk to your friend, but HOW YOU WOULD WANT YOUR FRIEND TO TALK TO YOU. The very things that would comfort you or what you feel you need or would like to hear. That is true compassion for yourself. Taking care of yourself, sort of by letting your friends speak to you through your own thoughts and your own voice. You are your good friend.
(When I heard her talk about talking to yourself like you would comfort your friend, that made me think, "Well, I don't know what I'd say to a friend, I don't even know if I'm a good friend.") LOL.
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Guest
Hi. I am new to the program. I share a little of the inability to get passed session 3. My husband really has to nudge me. I am not the best advice giver, but have you tried just making a small mark in your notebook every time you have a negative though? Maybe instead of writing down the negative though, just keep track by making a little mark on your paper. We have so many negative thoughts it seems a little silly to write down every single one you know? I myself have not written my thoughts down, I keep them in my head, but try to change them right away. Challenge myself...for every negative thought I have to pause and make that negative a positive.
Something to try. Let me know if this helps at all. And by the way, you are not even close to being a failure, just the fact that you are giving this another try makes you so spectacular!
Something to try. Let me know if this helps at all. And by the way, you are not even close to being a failure, just the fact that you are giving this another try makes you so spectacular!
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Guest
Thank you so much everyone for writing in here. I have been very troubled lately with "man the tools are just sitting there...what is keeping me from them?" I am so tired of being tired. I am not taking my meds consistantly, not sleepin well, eating well (meaning overeating), drinking enough water, ect. I'm just not taking care of myself. I am disgusted sometimes that I have let myself be so tangled up in my issues. And then I have to remember what my pastor said..."Conviction is when the Lord gentley corrects. Condemnation does not come from God. It whispers, "I am a failure because _________. I should have____________."" I now have hope again that I can be relaxed in my life without having to remind myself to let go of my muscle tension. And I am thankful for the warning that the Lord is giving me right now to gently change direction in my life. Be encouraged.
I STARTED the program in August.I am having trouble with lesson 3. I have trouble writing down my negative thoughts.and making them positive. I feel overwelmed and discouraged.It seems like I don't have enough time in the day to do everything in the workbook assignments.I feel like I having more anxiety this lession.What should I do ? Sabby.
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves...
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be? --Unknown
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[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/loveyouguysWave.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/ValHeartsSmiHug.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/SigTags/LynneCocoaMo-1-1.jpg[/IMG]
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves...
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be? --Unknown
*****************************************
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/loveyouguysWave.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/ValHeartsSmiHug.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/SigTags/LynneCocoaMo-1-1.jpg[/IMG]
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Guest
I found that writing down the negative thoughts and taking the time to dispute them is key to recovery. First, by writing them down, you slow down your mind and get the thoughts out of your head. Second, by seeing them on paper, it allows you to be able to identify any unhealthy thinking such as catastrophizing etc. Third, by putting the thoughts into words, you learn to really hear what it is you are thinking. This was key to me because often times the thoughts would come so fast and frequently that I couldn't identify what I was thinking, I just knew it made me feel bad.
I don't believe it is realistic that any off us are going to learn to be perfect healthy thinkers all the time. I think the goal here is to figure out what you are saying and turn it into something healthy - healthy, not neccessarily happy. Eventually it becomes a habit and the healthy trend replaces the unhealthy one. Don't aim to think perfectly, aim to keep getting back on the horse when you fall off and have an unhealthy thought. I found it took a lot of pressure of me to know that I didn't have to always think in a positive way but instead simply vow to develope the skills to help me think in a healthy way.
I don't believe it is realistic that any off us are going to learn to be perfect healthy thinkers all the time. I think the goal here is to figure out what you are saying and turn it into something healthy - healthy, not neccessarily happy. Eventually it becomes a habit and the healthy trend replaces the unhealthy one. Don't aim to think perfectly, aim to keep getting back on the horse when you fall off and have an unhealthy thought. I found it took a lot of pressure of me to know that I didn't have to always think in a positive way but instead simply vow to develope the skills to help me think in a healthy way.