cuttingirl,
i finished the program in 2004. i come in from time to time to help uplift others and, just wanted to tell you too keep with the program..if it worked for me then it will work for you as well...it takes time to get better and it will be well worth it..please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing..if you would like read my profile and you will see a little of what i have been through when i went through panic and anxiety..take care and HAPPY NEW YEAR..may this be your year to shine...if you would like to talk please send me a message. we do not live too far from each other..my wife and i have to go to a dr appt in winston salem in january..GOD BLESS..
DON
I feel WORSE since starting the program
I noticed that when starting the program and in the early stages, things can seem to get worse. For me it was because I was stuffing away all that junk and swallowing it like a bitter pill and NOT dealing with it. Once I started to peel the layers off me, I started to HAVE to deal with issues I have been stuffing away (out of denial or guilt), not dealing with (not assertive, felt I did not deserve better than I was having) not confident with myself and so much more. I just felt crappy about me, the situation I was in, my skills, my income, EVERYTHING! Once I started to work on myself, it was frightening to see how I really was, how I covered so much up and how was I going to better. I realized that I could not change my past, but I could make positive changes slowly each and every day that would add up and make a HUGE impact on my life and my family's life. It really will not happen overnight, but as time goes on, you learn, you practice more, you do not fear as many situations, you gain self confidence in you, your skills and that in turn is proof that you CAN achieve which boosts the confidence even more. Yes it was a struggle everyday, I was house bound, but am no longer. I also went back to college, achieved a 3.93 GPA (this is from person that loathed high school classes) and even got a full tuition scholarship. I have friends, drive in all sorts of weather here in Chicago (even the snow storm we had last night). I just keep going because the skill in the program were the tools I needed to prove to myself that I CAN DO ANYTHING! You will get there too. Patience is something I learned in the program and that is one of the most valuable assets I needed to SEE that I really did have in my life because I was the one causing all the rushing, hurried turmoil in my life. SLOW down and really start smelling the roses. 
Focus on what you want, not what you fear...