Post
by Guest » Thu Aug 14, 2008 5:08 am
Lenore,
You are such an amazing person!!!
You really have insipred many people including myself.
I still struggle with my secondary gains too.
I am doing the program for a thrid time now and am on session 5. But... from doing the program before, I always got stuck on session 12.
I so think though that I may have an inkling here.
Ever since I was a little girl, I always needed my Mom to feel safe. If I was scared, I went ot mom, if I was upset, I went to Mom, if I felt down, I went to mom.
When I developed stomach problems when I was 8 years old or so, I wanted my Mom to tell me that I would NOT throw up.
This is when my anxiety shot through the roof, however at that time I didn't know that's what "it" was.
Now, as an adult,25 years old, i still sometimes struglle with wanting her to tell me i will be ok, or I am normal, or whatever it may be that I am obsessing about.
I have come SO far with this though.
I just bought my first car two days ago, all by myself!
My bf helped me find it of course, but I signed all the papers and that by myself. it was very empowering!
So, all in all, I think my secondary gains are that I don't have to make myself feel better, someone else can as long as I am anxious.
That's pretty hard to admit, especially now seeing it in writing but that is definitely where it all stems from!
Wow!