Time for a Change - Wanting to leave my Fiance'

Gman5256 · Post by **Gman5256** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 7:27 am

I do not think Lucinda would want anyone to stay in that kind of a relationship even if they hadn't completed the program yet. You need to get out of it asap it will be scary ,but you have to end it. You do not need someone in your life bringing you down. It sounds like he has some severe issues he needs to deal with on his own. You can not do this for him. I really hope you see what you are involved in could not be love. You need to seek some counsel maybe a clergy member or a trusted relative. This will not be easy for you, but I am sure in the long run you will be so glad you moved on. Stay strong.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:02 pm

Thank you all for this sound advice, I don't know what I would do without the support of you

Maeggie, I would love to spill my guts more! there is so much more to the story. How do I PM??

Misty

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:02 am

Hi Misty:

I would love to read it- let er' rip! go to "go" at the top of the messages- then "personal zone" - then "private messaging" - then find buddies, enter my name- 'Maeggie' add me then click on me and click on invite- then the message thing should pop up and off you go!

Looking forward to it! best wishes!

Angie*Shelly · Post by **Angie*Shelly** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:33 am

Well actually i had 2 wait as well to make such a major chance. I guess because when you are going through all these emotions at 1 time, you might end up doing something you might regret later on. Tha's probablybest 2 do it when you are in your right state of mind. My suggestion is give it some time. Hang in there.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:58 am

Thanks Kita, may I ask the outcome of your situation?

Misty

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 5:50 am

Hey misty

Wow...I went thro the same thing back in 2000..I left him right away..No one deserves to be treated that way..I know its hard, but you are strong you have all of us to help you thro this..Just think of how happy you will be without him. how happy you will be knowing that there was no excuse for the way he treated you..there is always someone out there for everyone...What made be relize and leave my ex was that fact i ended up getting pregant and all i could think about was i dont want my child to feel the way i am..and one morning i got up and i packed all his stuff and changed the locks put a note on the front door with his stuff and never saw him again. I have since then met a wonderful man you loves me for me and is beside me every step of the way..He has also adopted my son who is now 7.we have been together now for 6 yrs and i am soo happy that i made the choice i did..Soo misty, just remember you deserve the best, you deserve to be treated the way you would treat him..soo girl, get out of there and go..goo search for yrself and in that time and only in time will u find that perfect perosn for you...
God bless you hun and i wish you all the best..if you need anything just buzz me..
take care Anna

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 6:36 am

Wow, This sounds like a bad situation all around. You deserve better. Dump him, ASAP. Those instincts you have about him are right, not the depression talking on this one I'm pretty sure. If you don't do it, you could be in deeper than you want to be with him. He doesn't sound like he's right for ANYONE! Not his wife, his girlfriend, and especially YOU! Go with your instinct, you have the facts to back this one up girl. This isn't your battle if you don't want it to be, let it be someone else's. Good Luck-
PS-I speak from experience from an abusive relationship, my ex was a bigot when I wasn't around, then I would see him around other people and, he was someone else. If he keeps you from people and lies, he wants you in the dark. You have to get out of his shadow. Next time he walks out on you, walk the other way. You can do it. Do it for you!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 6:58 am

Thank you Anna and Habit, its comforting to know that I am not alone in this.. Anna, I had gotten pregnant around the time of finding out he was engaged to another while stil himself married and the stress caused me to miscarry. Actually,unfortunately, because of the stress with him over the almost 4 years, that was my second miscarriage.

The more I write, the more I realize just how BAD he is and was for me! I feel like my mind is made up and I can do bad all by myself ya know?

Misty

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:31 am

Hi Misty. It was never about you being african american. He knew that that would be a believable excuse to use. At the beginning of your story I had already gathered enough information to know that he was married.

My sister has been going through a relationship EXACTLY like yours EXCEPT the guy is black. She has been going through this for years and is still with him. He is still married and probably still has the girlfriend too.

My best friend was the wife in the EXACT relationship until the husband ran off with the girl friend(But this was ended very tragic so I won't tell that one).

Get rid of this man and don't look back. This is a horrible situation. No wonder you have anxiety, this would surely set it off.

If you cant meet his childeren, family, or friends LEAVE HIM !!!!!!!!!!!

If I can't see him when I want to then I wouldn't be with him. Especially living a few minutes away.

Take care. DeeDee.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:35 am

Hi!

I couldn't help but to see your post and feel somewhat connected to it myself. I am on my 4th marriage. I feel your pain. Good luck to you.