Feeling of burden

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 9:23 am

Just wondering how everyone dealt with that feeling of being a burden, hassle, inconvenience to others? And I realize they may or may not think those things, but I especially FEEL that's what I am sometimes.

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 9:45 am

I remind myself that everyone is a burden sometimes. For example, my husband has to "put up with" me, but he went through a major depression last year also, and I held him up. So, it's all about give and take.

I try to remember to give back to those that give to me in any way that I can. . . even if it's a small thing like a card or a visit and talking about THEIR problems or needs. That way I know I can be a blessing to others rather than taking too much.

This is something I've really been working on.

Also, I just started to visit a nursing home in our area (something I've done for years but hadn't done since moving here a year ago) and so that makes me feel I'm giving back as well.

Those that love you won't feel you're a burden anyway ((((hugs))))

monty'smom · Post by **monty'smom** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 9:50 am

Hi Bev,

I have felt like a burden since 1997 when I had to quit working. My income was gone, it put all the stresses on my husband. I also felt like a burden to my family because of my Fibromyalgia I had sine 1991 I was so tired, and in so much pain I felt usueless to my kids and as a grandmother. I didn't deal with it and just made myself worse from thinking about it all the time and feeling guilty every single day. My husband never made me feel like this...he didn't have to because I did it to myself. That was a great contributor to my anxiety and depression. I now thanks to the program am dealing with my feelings much differently than before.

I just tell myself there is light at the end of the tunnel and I'm getting close enough to see it now. I hope to be able to return to work after I finish.

I believe it's how we talk to ourselves and how we beat ourselves up daily. I don't do that now.
Thanks to Lucinda and working the program.

Be Kind To Youselves

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:58 am

Bev, your contributions to this community have been a bundle of gifts to the many who read them. What you offer is YOU, from your heart. Such sincerity cannot be a burden. How could this be so? Not true, kiddo. You are a gift of goodness to this world.

joy jenkins · Post by **joy jenkins** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:14 pm

I have just tried to write a post but something went wrong and it just disappeared. I am feeling horribly depressed today; I forget just how terrible it is when I feel a bit better and then boom there we go again. I feel I don't have a friend in the whole world, know this doesn't make sense but that is how I feel. thoughts of it would be just as well if I could die right now and be out of all this. I have told you before that I am a retired lady of 69 living alone. The only relatives I have are some nieces and nephews here in Canada and much as I try I can't seem to stop myself from getting hurt by them.I feel I do my best, e-mail them, remember birthdays, any little thing I can think of to do, and get absolutely no response whatsoever. THIS DOES HURT! I know I can't change others, only myself and I try to just "let them go" and not bother with them at all, but this is so hard when just a simple word would help so much. So I guess they consider me as just a burden to them. I don't want to sound "oh poor me" ish, but I am just writing how I feel. Any other relatives are in England and they are a bit more thoughtful but so far away. Can't seem to get over losing all my siblings, feel so alone. I know this is a lot of the depression talking but it helps to just write out your feelings as they come. I wish I could just let them "go" and not care but this is easier said than done. I am trying to get out more but today I just don't have the energy, motivation or anything. I can't seem to even do the program today, just feels overwhelming. I just want to sleep (big escape)and that never works for me anyway. Am watching too much T.V. and the news is so depressing, know I would be better off not watching but can't seem to help myself. I get very emotional about the American election and I'm not even living in America and of course the economic crisis there right now. I guess misery likes company. This might be too depressing for anyone to even want to read but thanks for letting me just get out some of my feelings. Tomorrow is another day.
Joy

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:30 pm

Joy, it was good for you to just let it rip there, because that is how you feel today. I am sorry your young relatives don't appreciate you. It is their failure, not yours. I hope you can find people to spend your time with who DO APPRECIATE you. Always join this community when you can, and know your presence here is appreciated.

joy jenkins · Post by **joy jenkins** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:41 pm

Pecos, thanks so much for responding to my post. I can hardly see to write because of the tears, just a kind word or action is all I am asking for. Thanks again. You are very helpful to many people. I wish I could meet you.
Joy

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:49 pm

I will send you my email address on your PM. That way you can send emails to me, if you'd like. Take care of yourself.

shimdan · Post by **shimdan** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 1:12 pm

Feeling as a burden has been a stumbling block.
Felt that way as a child and even now as an adult .My husband is wonderful but due to years depression etc I feel like I have been a real burden.Trying to work through the program.Was seeing some progress then some things came up(major rejection in two areas) that have knocked me off balance . I am really discouraged and my thinking is not the best right now.

monty'smom · Post by **monty'smom** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 1:51 pm

Hello Joy,

I'm so sorry that you feel so very sad and lonely. I wish I could take it all away and make you feel better. I know it's not easy for you being without family but it's good to see you back posting. I was wondering today where you have been lately. I myself am on ever day, I really feel it helps with the depression and I love to try and be of some help to others. Anyway tomorrow is another day and I hope with all my heart it's a better day for you thatn today was. Glad though that you vented...it's better to get it out.
<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">((((BIG GENTLE HUGS))))</span>
Deb