it has been hard to fit in here in the South

cuttingirl · Post by **cuttingirl** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:00 pm

Hello, I feel like a stranger in a strange land living here in the South. I know the South is known for hospitality, beautiful mountains and beaches, general kindness, and a nice slower pace of life, all of which I have enjoyed. I want to like it here and I love people generally. But I feel like a sore thumb- I'm vegatarian, liberal, I don't smoke, I have a "weird" job (pathology), am not overweight, I like ethnic foods and multicultural events, I talk fast, I don't care for church, and can't understand why there aren't more bike friendly areas, stores where I can buy soy milk and vegetarian products, etc. Recently someone said "you're one of those d* yankess aren't you" and "what would posess you to want to do the work you do, do you think about death and gore all the time" (oh my gosh no). Sometimes I have trouble understanding the thick southern accent. I hear racial jokes from a lady whose eyes don't point the same direction. The car dealer kept referring to my husband even though I was the one talking and holding the money and decision power. I feel hurt, weird, and like I won't be accepted. Seems like someone can live in the North, leave for a while, and blend right in. But here you're never a "southerner" you're a d* yankee, you're automatically seen as rude, overly educated, disdained, etc, and people seem less straighforward, especially women, I've experienced the saccharine blow-off a couple of times. It hurts to feel like this. Maybe it will get better and maybe it's me that needs to be more open minded, I just feel alone here. Can anyone relate to this?

FrancesL · Post by **FrancesL** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:10 pm

I responded to you on the other post:

"How many of you guys have no friends"

I didn't see this post until after, and I can't figure out how to copy and paste on here...

FrancesL · Post by **FrancesL** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:47 pm

Incase you haven't seen my post yet, I'm in Houston, TX area. The next time you get a "d*%! yankee" comment...ask them if that is the "southern hospitality" you've heard so many great things about.
"That'll slap a guilt trip on 'em so fast...their mamma (mind you they are like 40 something) would be pullin' out the rollin' pin and yellin' JUNIOR, get your butt over here so I can teach you some manors!"

Chin up chickee, we're not all that bad...

Chief Crazy Horse · Post by **Chief Crazy Horse** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 10:09 pm

FrancesL you are sooo funny.........and they should watch their mouth cuz I'm a damn yankee and proud of it lol!

FreeToBeGG · Post by **FreeToBeGG** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 11:40 pm

cuttingirl,

What part of the South do you live in? Do you live in a small town or a big city? Not everyone in the South is as you describe. I was raised in Georgia my whole life and will likely live here for the rest of it. I'm liberal, too, and I promise there are other like-minded people. I can find soy milk in the grocery store, and even though I am an overweigh meat-eater, I find that I get along just fine with thin vegetarians. It seems like your impression of the South is filled with stereotypes. Look around a little closer. I think we just might surprise you.

cuttingirl · Post by **cuttingirl** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:38 am

Originally posted by FreeToBeGG:
cuttingirl,

Look around a little closer. I think we just might surprise you.

I live in NC. And I believe you are right; tI should look closer and keep my mind open and my energy positive. It's hard to move to a new town whether in a differnt part of the country, an hour away, or somewhere else in the world. It is nice here overall

priddymama · Post by **priddymama** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:58 am

Cuttingirl,

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time adjusting to life in "the South". I am originally from NC and as a previous poster said not all people are like the ones you have unfortunately encountered. I have lived all over the world and I still find folks in NC to be the nicest of anywhere (with the exception of maybe Tennessee--they're pretty nice there too:)) Give it a chance and stay positive. What part of NC are you living in? You can pm me if you'd like to share and maybe I could offer you some tips/pointers for that area particularly. Mind you there are some towns that might be a little more close-minded than others so you might have to do some exploring. But believe me there are plenty of non-smoking, healthy, bike-riding, Thai food-eating, home-schooling, vegetarians in NC. Keep looking. Those of us who eat meat make pretty good company as well so don't count us out either:) Good luck

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 6:05 am

Hi CuttingGirl:
Listen, i do understand exactly how you feel at times in the new place and its culture.
Once long ago I moved to Boulder, Co from Texas.
Boulder is without a doubt one of the most beautiful places that I have ever seen.
I had just gone thru' a divorce in Texas which had left me very vulnerable.
Well, Boulder is kind of international. There are people from everywhere there.
Most of the people were very nice. I come from East Texas and my speech may be very thick and very southern. I don't know how to speak any other way.
I went to work. i had 3 teen-agers to support and send to school.
Most of the people were very nice. Nearly all were. But because I was so scared and vulnerable I only heard those who made fun of me.
One lady said to me: "oh Gowd, you don't live in Louisana any more, you can quit talking that way!". It upset me so bad I didn't sleep that night.
So yes, I hear ya!!!
But I stayed in Colorado many years (23). And made friends.
You will make friends after awhile.
By the way, I went to Montana for a couple of years recentlyt and the folk there loved my accent.
The dif. , I think, was in my attitude.
I had gone to Boulder in 1967 and was very depressed after that divorce . So the attitude that I presented was one of fear and cowering.
I was afraid of my shadow. I couldn't even have moved there except that I had a sister who'd lived there a long time.
So anyway, I think you are going to be just fine.
I think sometimes that people will say "damn Yankee" meaning it affectionately. A few are mean and ignorant. Most don't mean any harm.
I wish you many friends and happiness.
Mary Jane

celeron · Post by **celeron** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 6:06 am

When I moved out of the city with my other half to where she came from in the country I have never fitted in, Like you I eat totally different, have totally different interests. The people are also so closely knit, everyone knows everyone elses business and are all so friendly to one another, I prefer the anonymity of the city no one ever talks to anyone and minds there own business. The also don't take well to outsiders, I've been living out here about 10 years and and haven't made friends with anyone, In the city you don't mind, but out here because everyone is so close knit you feel really odd.