To make this short, I did the the program program a couple of years ago and since both of my children are in school now, I started the program again as a refresher and a confidence booster. I feel that it's my time now and I may take some online courses and also volunteer at the school, etc. etc. The positive thing is that I've gotten real good at saying No to anything I don't want to do, no explanations to no one. And, MOST of the time, no guilt. I've even been socializing with friends (used to be hard at times) but with that comes a problem.
I find myself becoming judgemental and well, critical about a lot of people. I keep it to myself (or tell my husband...) but, I don't like how I am thinking. I mean, it's like I don't know how to be a really good friend to people anymore. Does this make sense to anyone? I've even thought that maybe I was doing this subconciously b/c of my fear of socializing and worrying about what people think of me. Then again, here I am OVERANYALYZING!!! (don't laugh!).
It's sooo hard to explain. I feel like I am more focused on everyone else's faults except myself. Is this a defense mechanism or what. I guess it's real good that I am going over the program again. Thanks for listening.
AA&D veteran, but need support and advice!
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Guest
HI,
I think I understand what you are saying. I feel that it's harder now (I'm 38) to make friends. I think I am more picky now about the people I want to socialize with. I keep looking for friends that remind me of my college friends or high school friends, they're all still in my life but don't live close by. No one measures up.
But, probably some of it is a defense mechanism. I have reached out to a few people in the last year but haven't yet made a 'friend' connection.
My husband always says 'I don't need friends, that's why I got married.' Nice, we do consider each other our best friends but other friends are good (and needed) in life.
I don't know how old you are but I think it does get harder with age and as we get older we tend to think more about it anyway.
I think I understand what you are saying. I feel that it's harder now (I'm 38) to make friends. I think I am more picky now about the people I want to socialize with. I keep looking for friends that remind me of my college friends or high school friends, they're all still in my life but don't live close by. No one measures up.
But, probably some of it is a defense mechanism. I have reached out to a few people in the last year but haven't yet made a 'friend' connection.
My husband always says 'I don't need friends, that's why I got married.' Nice, we do consider each other our best friends but other friends are good (and needed) in life.
I don't know how old you are but I think it does get harder with age and as we get older we tend to think more about it anyway.
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Guest
Karmerri
YES YES YES!! I had lunch with a new 'friend' yesterday and while we had a great time when it was all over I realized that some of the things I said were so presumptuous and judgemental - like I have ANY room to judge!
I think it's just going to take some time.
Just wanted to let you know you're not alone
YES YES YES!! I had lunch with a new 'friend' yesterday and while we had a great time when it was all over I realized that some of the things I said were so presumptuous and judgemental - like I have ANY room to judge!
I think it's just going to take some time.
Just wanted to let you know you're not alone