Need advice for my daughter please/Fear of vomiting

proud mama · Post by **proud mama** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:53 am

wow. hi everyone. i haven't been on here for so long, which i guess in a way is a good thing, but boy did the program, these forums and so many on here help me make it through the scary maze of anxiety, and find my way through to healing. i still have difficult times, but i handle them so much better now. i know how to "manage" the anxiety. so while i may have it still sometimes, "it" doesn't have me.

unfortunately anxiety runs on my mom's side of the family for several of us. my children have had issues with it, but are doing really well for the most part. right off the bat i got both of them into therapy over a year ago with 2 great child therapists who have helped them tremendously. they haven't met with them in about a year because of how well they've been doing. however, as many of you probably know- anxiety can and often does pop itself back up from time to time.
my daughter and son both have sort of developed a fear of vomiting because of the feelings anxiety can produce. nausea being one of them, which inturn creates the fear of vomiting in them. both my kids have even on occassion actually thrown up because of an anxiety attack, though it's been a couple of years since the last time for each of them. mostly they're scared of throwing up in public, esp at school. and my daughter more so than my son. my daugher is going through this again right now. she even came home from school today because she was having a full blown anxiety attack and felt like she was going to throw up. i didn't let her come home the first time she called this morning. i know avoidance behaviors need to be avoided, but she kept disturbing her teacher so i eventually went to just get her. (she's in 6th grade/11yrs old).

if anyone on here has dealt with this or has ever had a fear of vomiting and gotten through panic episodes associated with it, would you please share any advice you can with me? i would so much appreciate it. any little (or big) bit helps a bunch.

my daughter loves school. she hated that she came home she said, and missed being there with her friends, but when the anxiety comes on, as it often does unexpectedly, then so does the nausea and that is such a trigger for my daughter. then it becomes just a total fear of throwing up on herself or infront of everyone and being humiliated. she just wants to escape. i need help learning how to help her help herself to stay.

i know many things to tell her to tell herself when going through this, and i guide her through breathing techniques and reminding her to do her best to distract herself, but any advice you guys have would be very much appreciated and help me all the much more.

thank you so much in advance.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 19, 2009 6:43 am

I have not struggled with this specific fear but as I read the post of couple of things popped up for me.

I don't think it is actually being afraid of vomitting that they are afraid of. It is the fear of social embarassment that is getting them. Vomitting in front of a bunch of people would be embarassing and horrible and the thought of it is scaring them. Much like the thought of passing out or having a heart attack or so many of the other fears we have all had. Remember Lucinda and her fear of having diarrhea? I used to be afraid that I was going to shout something in a quiet place. Then would get scared of the fear of it. See what I mean? It's all social disaster. And it's all something that we feel is out of our control.

I think that if you took the fear out of the act itself.. like they talk about on the tapes. When you are having the thought tell it "Okay, anxiety, let's just barf here in front of all these people. Make it a really good one...let's try to hit that gal 10 feet from me." Put some humor in it. Take the horror out of it. Look at it with some realism. As human beings we've all vomitted. So what? Will they sew a scarlet "V" to your shirt if you do? No! Kids get sick, adults get sick.. it happens. If you can get them to ride it out and stop giving it so much power. The more they run home or run out of a room the bigger and scarier it gets.

That's how agoraphobia sets in. Avoidance is just a short lived reward. Sure, it helps in the immediate situation but look at the long term toll it takes.

I wish you and your family strength and patience and wellness! I hate to hear of kids so young struggling like that. I mentor a group of teens and have noticed that the anxiety issues are starting younger and younger.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:37 pm

Hot Rod- I just want to thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post. You are absolutely correct when I think about it. My daughter is afraid of being emmbarrassed infront of others- most esp her friends and peers at school. Not of the act of vomiting itself. No one wants to embarrass themselves infront of anyone, but at the same time clearly my daughter's worry is very irrational. She sees that, and has been doing so good this past week at working throught it and practicing the skills she's learned when having a strong anxiety attack because of her irrational thoughts about vomiting. Lucinda's program helped me so much through my anxiety, and now helps me to help my daughter too. You gave such good, helpful advice as well in your reply post. Thank you!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:32 am

It is absolutely my pleasure if anything I might have said helped. Isn't it wonderful having this forum to come to?

I am so glad your daughter is doing so well... the strength and courage of kids never ceases to amaze me!

You guys have a wonderful New Year and know you are being such a great mom!