Going through the program again and again...

DaveChamb · Post by **DaveChamb** » Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:20 pm

Hi guys,

My name's Dave and I live in the UK. I actually went through the program nearly 2 years ago and it changed my life... it was incredible.. I travelled, I performed, I socialised, I went to job interviews, I went on dates... It was incredible. I even wrote Lucinda a thank you letter.

I was in university then doing my Architectural Technology degree and thanks to the program I completed it this June with a 'First Class' grade. I am actually going through a really horrible patch again now and I've only recently realised how I have crept into avoidances again without even realising it... all it took was a few panic attacks and wobbly moments and I am almost back where I started. Depression has hit because I feel weak and trapped... my relationship with my girlfriend has broken down because I'm so nervous and anxious when we're out. We have now ended things and I am attempting self employment. Getting out of bed is very very hard and I am worried that this has all come back worse than I could ever imagine... I seem to have forgotten how it felt to have that somewhat brief taste of freedom 2 years ago. I have constantly listened to the tapes ever since I first went through the program... I think maybe I haven't actually been following the advice that well though.

I suppose I am writing this as a therapeutic thing for myself... this is to signify that I am going to go through the program again STRICTLY starting today and I am going to face ALL of my avoidances. yes I am terrified but I know I will be proud of myself when I make it through them.

Apologies for my rant everybody but to put this on record is very important to me

Dave

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:56 am

Dave I admire your conviction. I too have let some of my old life slip back after seeing success with the program. However as much as I keep telling myself to re-do the program I just can't seem to get started and stick with it. Good luck friend.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 25, 2009 2:52 pm

"I think maybe I haven't actually been following the advice that well though."

Dave,
what you said above is very important. It just means you need to master those skills that you may not have down yet. It takes a while and is a PROCESS. It probably feels super intense because you've been doing so well; that makes total sense. Try to be as gentle with yourself as possible. You did it once and you can certainly do it again, but this time will be even stronger and stick in a more solid way.
Go for it!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 5:01 am

Thanks for the replies guys.

Forsaken... if you can muster up the energy I recommend looking at yourself in a mirror and telling yourself that you are not going to live like this any more. No matter what it takes you are going to live a limitless life. No matter how scared you are. Commit today.

I am starting to relearn that there is no real reason to not do something. The worst that ever happens is sh*tty body feelings but they always pass, especially with the breathing Lucinda teaches.

I now plan my week in advance in a journal and under each day I have a to-do list. The to-do's include 'go to the gym', 'relaxation tape', 'listen to lesson tape __', 'Read Workbook section ___' etc...
No matter how bad i feel in the morning, I drag myself up at approximately the same time every day and commit to crossing off the things on the list whilst putting myself into uncomfortable situations so I can practice my panic attack response.

This is exactly what i did before so I know this is going to work... it may just take some time.

KDlady you are so right. Thank you so much for the encouragement

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 5:09 am

Keep working everybody! We've been there where life is great and all is well. If I can add, we need to keep in mind that we are wired in such a way that I hasten to say that we'll be dealing with anxiety/depression/panic for the rest of our lives. We just need to learn how to cope so much so that it becomes second nature. Ofcourse, I only speak for myself and I say this because I'm 38 and having been dealing with anxiety since I was 10 years old. We just have to keep working hard. We're in this together...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 5:07 am

Joe P -

I completely agree with you. Most if not all of us in this program are predisposed to anxiety and it's something that will be with us lifelong. That being said, we can learn the tools to deal with it so we can lead completely normal lives. But, once we start to feel better, NEVER STOP using your tools.

I fell into that trap. I went through a tough struggle with agoraphobia when I was younger, got better, stopped practicing my skills, and now I'm right back there again. It's a mistake I don't intend on repeating. Once I get myself back on my feet again, this time I'm going to keep mastering the skills I'm learning in the program so that I can prevent myself from falling into this situation yet again.

Good luck to all!
Jamie

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 9:06 am

hi dave
guess what it happend to me too i was in terrible shape before i went throu program i got relive for 2 years (i travel across world, got terrific job) and booom it happend to me again and i dont why but i waited for 6 months till i back to program and i working up to be better especially when i fly to europe agin in 3 weeks again

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:58 pm

I went through the program in October 2007, and am back again. I was in terrible shape this afternoon when I "spilled my guts" in a few posts. I was strung out from 3 miserable nights of (non)sleep. My anxiety ramped up mid-August, like it always does for the last 5 years. As usual, I start getting depressed, losing interest in things I like, which triggers anxiety, then hyper-focus on self, to hypochondria...well, I'm sure you know the drill. Last year, I was able to talk myself out of it pretty easily but not this year.

I pulled my box of Lucinda Basset Anxiety and Depression CD's out, listened to Session 9 and 10 (in the car), and already I feel relief. I feel hope, where I only felt despair and fear. I had resolved to call my doctor to hopefully renew my perscriptions to Klonopin and Zoloft, but I think I'll wait. I was blown away, how different I felt listening to those CD's this time around, and how much I gleened from them. I dutifully did the program the first time around, but I was doubtful and scared. Unsure it could really work, but I got 2 years of relief, and now I know they can work. This time I listened to them, knowing the wisdom in the advise, knowing that relief was at the end of the tunnel.

Do the program again. I am. We can both do this again. We may have to do this over and over, but that's a chore I will gladly accept because I won't accept those dark days of panic and despair again! You're not alone.