Need help... weird feelings! Ex is getting married today...

[Jess2005]

It's been a long time since I've been in here! I think it's been probably five years since I wrote anything on these boards! I always came a couple times a year just to read the similar struggles and give me courage to go on.... These board have helped me tremendously over my journey with anxiety and I thank all of you for it!

I had been taken Paxil since 2007 and this past year i've been weening off (which is so not fun...) to not taking any (stopped two months ago) .. It's been a struggle but I am surviving I started doing my Lucinda program couple weeks ago again to make sure I stay on the right track through these challenging times....

I was in a relationship back in 2009 with my ex. I decided to leave after 7 years, the main reason was he was such a big procrastinator on everything in our lives, the house... I couldn't see myself with children and having him to take care off.

I left well after that he's a completely different man.. He told me a few years afterwards I was the reason for the change I woke him up solid... I do appreciate that but now he's in a new relationship for like 3 year I think and one of my friend told me yesterday he's getting married today!! Now I am happy for him I wouldn't wish him harm... and I am in a 2 year relationship that is going very well .... I have weird feelings... started thinking about "OUR" engagement .. he did propose to me when we were together but seems he never got to walking me down the aisle.. (procrastination probably) ...

I sometimes feel I had the broken guy that couldn't help himself to procrastinate and all my 7 year hard work went to some other girl....

I know it's not okay to feel this way I am just torn why does it feel weird he's getting married.. I should be happy and go on with my life... but I am just stuck on this...

[Jess2005]

I think its true..there are not a lot of peopleon here anymore... in 2007 it was very different...sigh...

[LauraLL]

Hey Jess. I don't really know what to say except I feel ya. Been there,done that. I think you should probably just except that it's natural to feel that way and then go on. If you woke him up he should've come after you especially since you had kids together. The fact that he didn't means that it probably wouldn't have been good if you would've got back together. So just try to focus on your happiness. He lost you. Now you have a chance to have something new and better. Especially if you are happy with the guy you're with. But yeah I felt that way when my ex that I have kids with got married for the first time after us. He says a lot of stuff too. Now he's been married three times and divorced three times. Now he's alone and I'm happily married.

[jardosgirl]

Hey Jess
I just started the program, I was wondering if anyone ever gets on too.
I agree with Laura you should try to focus on your happiness. I felt the same way when one of my exes got married....but i kept thinking positive and now I have a great husband and two of the best babies!

[Jess2005]

Hi Laura,

Thanks so much for the reply!! You know what I just needed someone to say they understood! On that Saturday I ended up going to do something extreme with my current boyfriend... We went zip lining!! Such an awesome experience it made me forget about all of this.

I am happy with the guy I am with that's why it frustrated me.. why should I still think about him and have all the weird feelings if I am happy.. so then I started to wonder am I ? Being and overthinker *ugh* this didn't help!

Married three times yikes! I think your better off huh!

Jardosgirl - Yes it's been very different it seems on this site....I remember in 2007 wow there were so many people.. replies it just felt different.. I guess I'll give it a shot! I am so glad you started the program.. I completed it back in 2008 BUT I got off my meds couple months ago and I think it's more of a safety thing I wanted to do it as a refresher... this program has helped me tremendously... not feeling alone like I was going to go to the mental house or something... Just knowing I am okay and this is just me creating this "crap"... very encouraging...

I wish you and your husband and your little babies the best in the world! You will love this program