Any help/advice please

[Darren John]

hi
i`ve suffered on and off with Agoraphobia/Anxiety/Panic Attacks for the last 25 years now..i`ve tried hypnotherapy,CBT,PTS,books etc..at the moment i`m going through a bad spell again with panic attacks and high anxiety most of the day...I truly HATE this damn condition..it has ruined my life..i had to give up my job five years ago because of the anxiety and agoraphobia...i swapped roles with my wife and thought being a homemaker would help my condition..for the first couple of years it did help and i really enjoyed doing all the housework...but as the kids got older and started to get there own lives(10,14,16) and my wife was out most of the day i am spending large amounts of time in the house on my home..i try to keep myself busy with the housework to the point where i`m constantly tidying up..i`ve started to notice that i find it hard to raise a smile anymore and struggle to maintain my personal hygeine as much as i use to..its only the last couple of days that i`ve though that maybe i`m suffering a bit of depression along with my anxiety...to be honest the word Depression frightens me..if anybody asks me if i suffer anxiety i`ll willingly tell them yes but if anyone asks if i have depression then i`ll say no! not me!..i` know i have way too much time on my own looking out the window and sitting thinking but i can`t go out alone because of the Agoraphobia..i can probably walk 50yards down the street but after that i start to panic...i`m 44 years old and love my wife to bits but this is stopping us from being a happy couple..i was never a person who went out to pubs and clubs with friends but spent all my time with my family whom i love with all my heart...As a family we can never travel anywhere far and when i do go a reasonable distance i have to lie down in the car and drink alcohol to relax myself..My wife has a really hard time understanding my condition and usually gets angry and frustrated when i try to explain how i feel..i understand how she feels that she cant see anything phsyically wrong so its hard to understand...another thing that hurts is that our kids see other families going on summer vacations but because of my condition they cant...this hurts me so much...i dont want to get better so i can do things on a personal level i just want to feel better so i can be a good husband and father!!...if anyone has any advice i would be so grateful...

[LauraLL]

Hey Darren. Man do I feel ya. You are me in a male form. You are on the program right?
I just got married and my kids are 9 and 10. My new husband is great and wants to do things with the kids and me. There has been more than once that I have had to pull the plug on things when we were on the way there. The kids don't completely understand (no one who doesn't have this problem does) and they get mad. I feel like a big jerk. One thing that helps me though is that I home school my kids. So that keeps me busy while my husband is at work.
My advice would be to try to find something nice to do. Something that makes you feel fulfilled. Like find a hidden talent. Build or make something. Is there any projects you've been wanting to do? Like painting a room or something. Or read a book. It doesn't have to be a novel. Get a informational book or a book on some interesting person or event in history. The right music and smells (lavender) help me too.
In the program they talk about reading a motivational book.
What kind of stuff are you interested in?

[Darren John]

hi Laura
thank you so much for your reply..when i`m occupied it helps so much but with it being summer the kids are always out..i`ve always been a sporty type of person..playing football,golf and fishing but with my agoraphobia i can`t get out to do those things..i`ve never been a reader as i struggle to concentrate because of my anxiety..decorating a room would be a good idea as our sons room needs doing..i light scented candles and play music that has sentimental meaning between myself and my wife..i`ve just started the program and i`m on day two of lesson 1..i really hope it can help me feel better..i`m the same..countless time have we gotten all excited about going somewhere only to have to turn back because i couldn`t make it..i feel so guilty because i`ve let them down...are you on the program?...thanks

[coachchris]

HI Darren,

Let's set up a free coaching call over skype. I would love to talk with you! We can put together a plan for using your program and kick this thing once and for all. You can read my other posts to learn more about my story.

We are here to help,
Coach Chris StressCenter.com

[DolphinG]

Welcome Darren
you are in the right place and on your way to recovery for sure my friend.
I can tell you that in my case i was a wreck if you go to my postings you will see in my first day in the program i was really bad.
i have made a dramatic change for the better in a short period of time as well as allot of other people in this program.
I am not a coach in the program but i can tell you that i am an example of what this program is capable of doing for you.
Be patient and take it one step at a time get in touch with Coachchriss she is awsome .
God Bless ,Dolphin G

[LauraLL]

Yes Darren I'm on the program. I'm on session 4 right now. Doin better. My blood pressure has come down and I'm off my meds for that. I drove a few times last week and I'm planning to drive to church tomorrow. I haven't driven for about a year any farther than around the block to drop my kids off at the neighbors house. I'm proud of me. How are you doing?