Trying to post. I'm new. This is the beginning of my story.

[LauraLL]

I tried to post on here yesterday and I don't think it worked 'cause I can't find it.
Anyway, I'm new here.
I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. I hated school because of it. I would feel so scared and like I might explode or get sick when I was on the way to school when I was in 1st grade. I thought it was normal because that's what my mom told me. She'd say, "You're just nervous. You'll be fine after you get there." and things like that. I had my first panic attack when I was probably 15 or 16. I was in my room crying about something that I can't even remember and was thinking things like "If I died no one would miss me" and "I wish I had never been born." and then all of the sudden I started feeling really weird! My heart started REALLY pounding and my head got weird. I jumped up out of bed and ran to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror to see if I looked weird. Then i ran out in the living room where my Dad and sisters were watching tv and yelled at everyone "There is something really wrong with me and no one even cares!" They all looked at me like I was crazy and didn't even ask what was wrong. I went back to my room and it passed and I cried some more.
I had others but didn't know what they were really and they weren't as bad. I had a really hard time keeping a job and going places. I finally got diagnosed and put on some meds when I was 20. I'm now 34.
I am really excited about this program. The Bible says to take captive every thought and I think this program will teach me how to do that. I'm so excited to learn to enjoy life.

[tina martin]

Welcome to a fine program and wonderful site. People may be busy tending to the program, so I think and hope.

Do give it the time and attention it calls for. Some people stop as soon as they feel better. It is best to follow through, listen carefully, do the exercises, give it your time, your patience. Be hopeful and optimistic, you will succeed. Wishing you the best.

[LauraLL]

Thanks Tina. Hey my maiden name is Martin. I intend to keep at it. I've lived with this thing so long. I am too ready to be done with it. I'll do what it takes.

[tina martin]

Martin is a lovely name, first or last. Like your determination. That is what it takes, really, along with patience and persistence. I keep at it every day focussing mainly on positive self-talk, praising myself, exercising, meditating, finding activities that give me pleasure.

You will find your peace and joy. Never take it for granted.

[DolphinG]

welcome Laura L
I'm known in the sight as Dolphin G,I was reading your post and i can yell you you are going to do well, work hard every step.
I also noticed that you mentioned the bible , that tells me that you are in some way a beleiver in a higher power,thats why i truly belive that my lord and savior (JESUS) was the one who put this program in my path and in yours as well.
You are in the right place .

[LauraLL]

Yes Dolphin G I believe in Jesus. I do believe this is an answer to my prayers. The Lord promised to deliver me from my "misery." I believe this is the way. I am also seeing a Christian counselor and have told him all about the program. I'm really excited. It's hard for me to spend a whole week on one session. I'm always chompin at the bit to get on to the next session.