Hi Im new!!

[rosebus]

Hi,its me again,I started this post.I am on session 5 and have found little or no relief,I am crying as I post this,I cant seem to get out of this anxiety mode I am in,had started a new medicine for anxiety and for the first week it was amazing.Now Im right back where I started.I cry all day,I feel sick to my stomach,just fell horrible the dyingt houhts are coming back into my head,I am alone andI am scared.Im sorry if this shouldnt beposted here but did t know where else to go.I feel so horribly alone!!!!!!

[tina martin]

You are not alone rosebus, we are here. It's OK to cry and OK to let it out here, or in a journal at home. I write all the time in a notebook, just for me.

Maybe check with your doc re the meds, but do not give up. Sometimes it can get worse before it gets better. Chin up, the sun will shine again. Try and read some of the current uplifting posts here (the one in caps) and sunshine's post today. If you scroll back you'll find others that are inspiring. Yes, you will get better and we'll support you as best we can. I'll be going out, but will be back.

[samcat]

Rosebus, I think Tina gave you some good advice. I think you should definitely call your doctor about the medication. Sometimes a person has to try several medications before they find one that works. With all the crying, it sounds as if you have depression mixed with in with your anxiety, which is not uncommon. I feel so badly for you right now--sometimes it seems this will never end , but you need to keep trying. Try to find what helps you the most to help break the bad feelings: is it relaxation, meditation, exercise, journaling, repeating positive affirmations? What helps each person can be different.

Remember how I told you that my therapist said once your amygdala gets aroused, it is hard to shut off? Relaxation usually helps with that. Maybe you should try getting in a quiet place and do deep breathing until you feel calmer. It is so hard to advise you over the internet, but Tina is right, you are not alone. There are hundreds of people on this forum and it seemed they would never get better, but they did. I am more familiar with anxiety symptoms than depression, which seems to also be bothering you and I think Tina knows more about that than I do, so she said she will be back and you can count on her. She will check back with you. Meanwhile, she is right, feel your emotions and don't bottle them up. if you need to cry, then do it. This is an isolating condition because we withdraw from people and they don't understand why we feel the way we do. They have never experienced this so they don't understand what you are talking about, which makes them appear unempathetic. It does make one feel alone--i think everyone on this board has fell horribly alone at some point. I know that i have. Sending you a big hug!!

[DolphinG]

Rosebus.
Samcat and Tina are here for you and you can count me in as well im not a veteran at this im at your same pace sort off,
I to have had realy bad days yesterday was one of them but we need to be strong and continue to battle this.
Samcat is absolutly on the money when he suggests you check with your Doc about the medication.
I also was out on different ones in the begening until i finaly got it right with XanaX.use to take 3 times .25 and now i have been able to cut it down to 2 .
Some of these meds take time to work and remember that one of our main problems is that we hate to take them becouse they make us feel nervouse ,and even sometimes confuse the symptoms of a reaction of a medication or withdraw to anxiety.
beleive me im that way and Im not a doctor but you said you started taking a new med ;well not sure what u were taking before but i know that some of these medications should be taken out gradualy in order to start a different one just check with your Doc.
Keep strong read allot and go for short walks it helps.
YOU R NOT ALONE
Dolphin G

[tina martin]

How wonderful to be together, to be supportive, to know we are not alone. Yes, depression has been my shadow for years though I also know someone who has suffered with classic panic attacks. She takes some medication.

I've approached my issue from all angles: from Freud to CBT (the program here), to psychologists' writings, to group therapy once, to philosophers, to plain thinking and analyzing, to practical matters such as diet, exercise, meditation, to my own writing giving myself that all important self talk and praise, to accepting that not every day will be a banner day.

Rosebus, we hope there is a smile on your face and light in your soul. Aren't friends such as samcat and Dolphin the best?

[samcat]

Dolphin,

I know we are on a heavy topic here, but when you called me a "he" I had to laugh. I am definitely a "she". Ha Ha. Fooled you because I am such a basketball nut, didn't I? All my male friends are amazed that I can talk basketball with them as well as a guy. But, hey, some of my girlfriends are football nuts and know stats as well as anybody. Most of my buddies at Fed Ex Forum, where the Grizzlies play, are other women and we are all basketball nuts and know the league pretty well.

Sorry you had a bad day yesterday. You will learn as you go along that happens. Sometimes there isn't any reason you can even think of either. You kind of have to take this one day at a time.

[DolphinG]

No Freeking way OMG here i thought all this time you were a HE, HEE HEE LOL,
Im so ambarrased ,well that tells you how coocoo i am but its all good some of my best friends are she's.
and you right now are deffinatly one however glad you told me couse now i can measure my words,LOL.
Having a real good day so far and possitive mind to continue on.
BE GOOD Sweet heart .

[samcat]

Dolphin,

Please don't be embarrassed and you never have to measure your words with me. I made up my user name because I used to have a calico cat named Samantha that I raised from a three week old kitten. We had to put her to sleep at the age of 17 due to the horrible effects of chronic kidney disease. Therefore, my user name, samcat. Every time I use it, I think of her. I am a major animal lover and have been all my life--horses, dogs, cats, even spiders--anything but snakes. Yikes, I don't like them!

Thought you would get a laugh out of this. Life is strange isn't it and you just came to a normal conclusion. Sam is usually a man's name and I love basketball, so you came to the conclusion that I am a guy. Perfectly logical. You are definitely NOT cuckoo. lol. Gave us both a good laugh, didn't it?

Glad you are having a good day!!

[samcat]

Rosebus,

Hope you get on the forum tonight. You doing any better today? Just wanted to check in with you.

[blenderina]

Hi, I'm new too. Just started listening yesterday. I found it so helpful to hear others describe what I have been feeling and put names to things. Before that, my head just said "here it comes again, what's wrong with me, I'm in so much pain I want to die." And I'd cry. I changed those thoughts to "ok, it's just anxiety, it will pass, breathe (2 in and 4 out), I'm not crazy, and I'm not going to die." That alone gave me hope. I have a long way to go in working the program. Right now I can see a ladder out of the pit of despair. So of course I want to climb it all in one day. The important thing is that I took the first step. And today I'm taking another step by posting here. The triggering event for my plunge into anxiety and depression was being laid off from my job six months ago. Now I tell myself that this is temporary, I will find work, and I won't present myself as a victim. I will grow stronger. Worry is a habit I learned and I can unlearn it. Thanks y'all for being there.