difficulty eating/ swallowing

cuttingirl · Post by **cuttingirl** » Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:48 pm

Hello all,

Sometimes the anxiety really peaks while I am trying to eat, especially if I am eating in front of other people. It's a fear of choking or vomiting, I think. Plus I imagine strange things about the food itself. I have spit food into the napkin and often I take forever to eat even a really small meal. Often I don't eat solid food at all. I've stopped going to lunch time meetings and tumor boards because they serve lunch and there is just no way...

It's been particularly troublesome lately, for a few months now. I've been losing weight and can't seem to get healthy (I know it's because I'm hungry and not getting enough nourishment). If you saw me you would tell me I need to gain weight and that I look sick (people tell me this often). Does anyone have any suggestions? Currently I'm just riding it out, trying to get calories from fluids/ liquids, and eating things like Greek yogurt and avocado.

Suggestions, tips, recipes are welcome!! Thank you

I can't seem to get a handle on this...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 25, 2010 2:10 pm

I've struggled with that as well.

Sometimes I just would not be hungry. But I would try and have something because we obviously need to eat. I would have plain toast. The toast was so lacking in taste that it would make me hungry haha.

But we all have comfort foods. When I am feeling down or anxious like that I just think...If I could eat anything right now what would it be?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jan 28, 2010 6:31 am

Hello
I am just done with week two and on the session CD for this 2nd week Carolyn the Ed Director talks about this as one of her struggles. It is fairly common. Maybe drop her a note and see what she says?

Take care,
Jill~

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jan 28, 2010 8:03 pm

I sort of have something similiar when I eat. My heart will actually race and I get very scared.. Mainly because I've noticed as of late my panic attacks occur after eating a meal. I pretty much stopped eating and I dropped to 98lbs and often got the "you look sick you need to eat", it's not that I didn't want to eat. I do/did.. it's just difficult. I finally just started eating and dealing with my thoughts.. It worked for a while I am up to 107 now but I am starting to lose control of that again and not able to eat much. Although the things I do not have a problem eating are things like strawberries, raspberries, potatoes of any kind, apple sauce and dry cereals. I know this sounds very strange but maybe that short list will help you get a little something anyway.. better than nothing until you get a better uderstand of what is going on. Good luck!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 12:58 am

Hey jillzmind, thank you, I had forgotten about session 2 and how it relates to this! I listened to session 2 again. What Carolyn says about the food just "stopping" or getting stuck is so accurate. Applying the six steps and some negative-positive dialoguing helped me eat a meal of mostly solid food last night! Also it helped that the food was wonderful: fresh home-made light Mexican food made by the boyfriend. Thank you so much for your reply!

Hey Nicolette_leo, thank you for your reply. The foods you mention- berries, potatoes, and cereals are also foods that I find easier to eat. There are weeks at a time when this is all I can get down, in addition to milk and fruit/protein smoothies. Some foods consistently make me anxious during and after eating: meat, chewy things, seafood, sugary things, processed things like cracker packs and cookies. Though I haven't had a full scale panic attack during or after eating, I do get the early symptoms of a racing heart, difficulty breathing, and the impending sense of doom.

It's still a problem, but I know it's going to be ok. Borrowing somethign fron session 3, "just because I had an anxious time before, doesn't mean I will today". Eventually I hope I'll be able to eat in front of others at tumor boards, lunch work meetings, and out to eat at restaurants.

I wonder if it would be useful to use therapy or journaling to try and find out what is at the bottom of this, if there is anything there. Like some sort of fear of incorporating things that are good for me, food or otherwise, like not deserving sustenance and help and support. Or being terrified of gaining weight, losing control, actually choking... I think I'll just make it through the next meal first! That is doable for now.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:01 am

Cgirl
Mexican food? Is there any left overs? And can I come by :p

Glad it helped. I am reviewing week 3 starting today.