Stress Center Peer Support

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:21 pm

Uumm, I really don't have much to say right now. I just really wanted to talk to somebody right now. Nothing's bad wrong. You ever feel like you're being tested? Just a lot of things go wrong at the same time. Otherwise you could handle them individually.
You know how when things go, say, out of the normal. You rise to the occasion, but when it settles back down, you feel like losing it- I mean like breaking down and crying. The adreneline is gone and you're worn out, I guess.
I just think I could cry a bucket of tears right now.
The really good news is that I haven't cried since Tuesday. I usually do every day. I'm at my folk's and kinda stuck here with a sick son who can't ride in the car to go back home right now. I don't dare break down in front of oher people, so I'm hiding anxiety really well.
My baby is practically tearing up Mom's house. It is definitely not toddler proof and I am following her constantly to keep her out of trouble. I don't care how sad you are- you HAVE to admit it's funny when the baby sets off your mom's smoke alarm three times (so far). At least we figured out how she's doing it. I guess when you're little, it's fun to turn on the stove burners to high and watch the house fill up with smoke and make the loud noise come on. I mean, can you imagine the fun this kid will have when she's a teenager? Bring on the gray hair and wrinkles, baby!
My 8 year old son is having high fever and has dehydrated from losing liquids. He won't drink b/c it will come right back up or go straight through him. I couldn't even make it to the docs and then the hospital without pulling over. We got a very broad diagnosis of possible stomach flu, samonella or UTI and broad treatment with antibiotics and phenergan. He took two bags of fluid yet could hardly get anything into a cup for the urinalysis. I know we'll be back up there in the ER in the next day or so. It literally breaks my heart for him to beg for me to do something for the abdominal pain, but they want it all to come on out. And he's so tired and weak, he snaps and fusses and argues with me, which is totally out of character. Patience is a virtue, right?
My refills on my meds are in my hometown four hours away and Xanax cannot be transferred to another pharmacy. Hey! Anybody wanna be my buddy when I run out in a few days and hit withdrawals? Come on, line up!
My daddy in law started the craziness last weekend with an ER trip where I got to keep four hoodlums, oh, I'm sorry, kids, all night. Believe you me, no cabinet was not emptied. No toys were left in toy boxes. I caught my nephew watching an R rated movie with very vivid language. Then the usual of my toddler climing in the tub fully clothed. Everybody decides to poop in rotating 15 minute increments. Then the youngest nephew threw up two glasses of yummy strawberry milk in my daughter's bed and the carpet. 12:30 pm- no one asleep! You know, I'm thinking of trying to make a deal with God at this point.
On top of that, everyone was 45 minutes away at the hospital. I was alone 4 miles from a town that doesn't even have a stop light. Knowing no neighors, having no phone numbers. Alone is really hard for me, but I came through with flying colors, but let loose crying when the kids went home.
So FIL is doing so much better and back home. I've just go to wait out my little one's illnes and take care of him the very best I can, while keeping the little monster from turning on the oven, dishwasher, ice machine, bath faucets and flushing the toilets. I'm think there's an extra dog pen outside (I'm so kidding), but my dad fears for his dog's life with Cady near him.
I think my husband is actually enjoying sleeping earlier, controlling the remote and the peace and quite. That's a sure fire way to boast a gal's self esteem.
Oh, and bright side- Mom
is a fabulous cook and washes my clothes while I'm at the docs. This is great! Too bad I just can't sit back and relax and enjoy it.
Well, thanks for listening, I hope you smiled a little. I can't go to church b/c of my son. I'd love for anyone to offer up a prayer, though it's not really an urgent situation. I'm really going to miss going to services tomorrow.
Time for bed. One of the kids will call just as I start to fade out. And that's what they made Cokes for.
Good night and God bless. No need to respond to this. Just doing some rambling on my own. Beverly
Off to sleep I go. Well, until it's time for more fever medicine.
Thanks a million for letting me share and unload. I feel tons better already. No need to reply to me. Everything will slowly come together and back to normal soon. There are a lot worse things out there.
Have a great and blessed rest of the weekend and I hope you all get a chance to relax and take it easy.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 2:15 am

Hi, Beverly! I know you said no one need respond to your post, but I felt compelled to do so. Sometimes, it feels like it all hits the fan at once, huh? It sounds like you were having a stressful night. But you made it through! Congratulations! I think anyone, even someone without an anxiety disorder, would have been feeling like they were going nuts in that situation. It was a tough, challenging situation--one in which it seems like there was very little that you could actually control. Give yourself kudos for making it through the day! You are a strong woman, and you will get through this!

Genie

Deb 45 · Post by **Deb 45** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:19 am

Hey again,

My son was admitted to the hospital last night. They can't figure out what is wrong so we get the old standby- it must be a virus. Maybe it is, but my gut tells me not so I insisted on extra tests. BUT, I, myself, am handling things like a good mother should, not without anxiety, but it's not in control of me. Please remember him in your thoughts and prayers. He's just a little fellow.
Thanks, Genie, for your reply. You lifted me up!
Beverly

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:44 am

Gosh Bev anyone would start crying after all that - even someone who doesn't have any anxiety. I'm not even sure I could have managed all that and my anxiety levels are really low now! Sounds like your coping pretty darn well. Hope your son recovers soon.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:21 am

Hi Bev:
You and the little ones are in my prayers. You've done so well! But I know you are worried about your child. I know because I had 3 little ones (A long time ago).
Sometimes the issues we face seem gigantic. But mother's somehow cope.
While I appreciated your great writing, Icould feel the near-panic situation.
You are going to make it through. I sure hope the little boy is much better by now.
I am sorry you have had to deal with it all.
My thoughts are with you.
I'm very proud of you!!!
My love,
MaryJane

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:33 pm

Bev, I hope your son is feeling better soon! Hang in there!