Expectations and Negative self talk

ASJ · Post by **ASJ** » Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:46 am

Just started session 4 expectations boy did this open my eyes just like negative talk I did not realize all expectations is had about myself or others. This program has been an eye opener for me I'm learning so much about myself. Still writing down my negeative thoughts but having trouble with sleeping for some reason or other I can't just fall to sleep my mind wonders for a hour or so. I do positive talk that it is alright to sleep and I do positive aformatiom about sleeping still does not work does any one out there have any suggestions for me this is a missing link for me. Thanks for all your support. I LOVE YOU ASJ. I say this to myself everyday. ASJ looking for some sleep.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 3:12 pm

I'm having a little trouble and seem to be sticking at this point and having some anxiety. I've figured out what part of it is, I think. I am now doing the Optifast diet program (all liquid, no solid food), and FOOD used to be my crutch to try and quiet all the anxiety, thoughts, panic, depression. So I am going through the program, which is difficult, without my old "crutch" of food to help calm me down. I'm having to find new methods and really talk to myself. The past two mornings have been really difficult again, but I'm trying to keep working the program and doing what I'm supposed to and hanging in there.
I also never before realized how my favorite person in the world (my mom) is SOOOOOOOO negative! I always have known she's somewhat of a pessimist, but since starting the progam, I've become acutely aware just how very negative she is. I don't think I've ever shared an idea with her on something I was thinking about doing or starting and actually heard her say that's a good idea! She always IMMEDIATELY hits you with every possible negative thought or circumstance she can possibly think of. I now think no WONDER I've been such a negative thinker. She is in her 80's, and I know if I brought all this out to her, it would really hurt her feelings. I'm trying to figure out something else to do, like self talk, talking to my friends about it, etc. to get it out of my head.
I'm trying also to give myself love and mental hugs every day. For some reason last week and this week seem to be particularly difficult, and I'm also having trouble sleeping.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:11 am

I know what you mean, TDub. My mother turns 80 this year, and it's an automatic response from her, to see any possible downside to anything new, and bring it up. Though she's not entirely negative.

Product of a different era, these Depression children. Does she have the Shoe Thing?

That nothing's more important than a Really Good Pair of Shoes? I've met a number of Depression era children who have that ingrained belief.

I dunno why it helps me to remember that about her, puts her different outlook in perspective, I guess.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 24, 2010 3:17 pm

ASJ--You might need to help your body relax. Maybe one of the following would help:

*Do the Relaxation CD 1/2 hour to 45 min. before bed.
*Drink some chamomile tea before bed.
*Do not drink caffeine, eat or drink apple anything or eat protein within a few hours before bed.
**Do your relaxation breathing while laying in bed.
*Turn down all your lights in the house and lower the volume on music, Tv, etc. at least 1/2 hour before bed to get your body and mind ready for less activity.
*As a last resort, maybe take some Hyland's Calms Forte (a homeopathic supplement). I take 1/4 tab before bed when I am extra tense or anxious.

Hope some of tha helps!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 06, 2010 4:51 am

I actually downloaded the relaxation CD to my iPod and play it when it's time to go to sleep. There are 3 tracks of it and often times I don't remember the 2nd or 3rd and wake up sometime in the middle of the night with the earbuds still in my ears. When I'm listening - really listening to the CD and doing the breathing, it's hard to let your mind wander. Give it a try!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 31, 2010 4:17 am

Originally posted by TDub:
I'm having a little trouble and seem to be sticking at this point and having some anxiety. I've figured out what part of it is, I think. I am now doing the Optifast diet program (all liquid, no solid food), and FOOD used to be my crutch to try and quiet all the anxiety, thoughts, panic, depression. So I am going through the program, which is difficult, without my old "crutch" of food to help calm me down. I'm having to find new methods and really talk to myself. The past two mornings have been really difficult again, but I'm trying to keep working the program and doing what I'm supposed to and hanging in there.
I also never before realized how my favorite person in the world (my mom) is SOOOOOOOO negative! I always have known she's somewhat of a pessimist, but since starting the progam, I've become acutely aware just how very negative she is. I don't think I've ever shared an idea with her on something I was thinking about doing or starting and actually heard her say that's a good idea! She always IMMEDIATELY hits you with every possible negative thought or circumstance she can possibly think of. I now think no WONDER I've been such a negative thinker. She is in her 80's, and I know if I brought all this out to her, it would really hurt her feelings. I'm trying to figure out something else to do, like self talk, talking to my friends about it, etc. to get it out of my head.
I'm trying also to give myself love and mental hugs every day. For some reason last week and this week seem to be particularly difficult, and I'm also having trouble sleeping.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 31, 2010 4:32 am

I thought I was the only one that had problems with my mom> All her life everything we did was wrong we never did nothing right, now I had to put her in a convalecent home and everyday I feel so guilty, and stressed out I feel like I'm such a bad daughter, she always depended on other people except her kids 4 daughters and 2 sons, my younger brother shot himself when he came back from Viet-nam and my other brother buried my mom along with my brother, my older sister comes to my mom to take what little she has and my other 2 are just as messed up as me with their brain but they all ran away and left all the responsability to me, my husband gets very angry cause I have the need to be with my mom I guess cause she was never with us she never really left us but would take off saying she had to work and would only come on Sundays, my sister and I were always so afraid, my dad drank and would come to our bedroon and start crying and telling us how bad my mom was, everyday I feel llike I want to jump outof my skin and wish that I had the guts to shoot my brain off the way my brother did, but then I talk myself out of it I think of my granchildren and my husband and ofcourse who is going to take care of mom.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jul 21, 2010 3:21 pm

dear MSJ, I know exactly what you are talking about when you talk about not having negative thoughts all the time. I'm still dealing with this issue myself. I make myself in the moring say one good thing about myself, and throughout the day as well, you should see if this works for you

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jul 21, 2010 3:32 pm

TDub, It's nice to know someone is where you from what I mean is that I am from Ohio, but leave in Alabama now, but I can relate to what you were talking about with moms is the negative things that they say that gets your goose boiling.