Ahhhhhh... the SHOULDS! What an assignment! I thought some of the other assignments and tasks from Section 1, 2 and 3 were something... but the Shoulds of Section 4 are something else! Really really tough.
I listened to the tape... I started filling in the Section 4 workbook pages... I read everything very carefully and was well warned about the Step 1 Test on page 55 before I took it... and I failed it miserably anyway!!! But I really like that test. It provides excellent indications of areas where my stinkin' perfectionistic thinkin' needs some work!
The test's explanatory tables on page 56-57 are wonderful! I've seldom seen such solid feedback on a test, and now I understand myself much better than ever before. Now I know exactly where I have to re-assess my thinking and attitudes, and where I have to make an honest effort to change! It's really great.
But the best part of all is the effect those changes will have on my tendencies to allow everyday situations to carry me into anxiety, stress, panic attacks and depression! The new thinking being provoked from the Step 1 test on page 55, plus the scoring explanations on pp. 56-57 will create a new me... a better me... one who is much better able to cope with life! I really love it!
Ahhh... I'm supposed to be talking about my list of SHOULDS! Sorry I got way off the track there. The shoulds... I carefully read and re-read all the Core Skills info on shoulds on page 53 of the workbook. I underlined large parts of that page. I mean, I really burned that information into my skull. The REALISTIC realities of Shoulds finally penetrated my cerebellum. I finally realized just how TOXIC they are!!!
So after I did all that... and after I flunked the Step 1 Test on my Attitude Inventory... (in spite of all the warnings on page 54!... and in spite of the fact that I cheated a little bit by being extremely conservative in my Intellectual, Emotional and Physical answers to the questions)... in spite of all that stuff, I just went out and flunked the test anyway -- probably because I didn't cheat hard enough -- LOL!!!
So what did I do when I got to the Shoulds Listing Test on page 58??? EASY--I didn't do that test because I already knew how nasty those shoulds are--hahahahahaaaaaa. They're sort of like the entitlements that many Americans feel they deserve--"free" medicare, social security, etc.
Well I've got news for you, bucko... we don't "deserve" anything -- and that includes anything that could come to us simply because we think it SHOULD! We've got to get rid of that stinkin' thinkin' real quick. Shoulds are bad to the bone and I ain't goin' there.
Shoulds
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Hey Bob o-- I love the entitlements you were talking about. Yep...there definitely is some stinkin' thinkin' going on...
Right now I'm working on how it is okay that I cannot or think I should get the "perfect" gift for my children. I'm really stressing over it, but working on letting it go. I just can't please everyone...
Still working on how my house isn't decorated the way I'm accustomed to doing it. It is very minimal right now...I have no ornaments on my fake tree...just colored twinkled lights that came with it years ago.
Also I am using the fake tree this year. I usually get a real tree. Anyway, to get the ornaments I would have to do it myself or ask my son or husband to fetch them out of the garage attic.
I could tell they were busy and not as concerned about the decor of the tree. So I'm letting go...I'm feeling the anxious feelings and working with them and lowering my expectations. I found out last night that we aren't opening presents at my house anyway, if I heard that right from hubby.
I'm ready if it does happen and fine if not. We're eating Christmas dinner at a different daughter's house, so that was changed and we will just travel a couple miles farther. I really have it good compared to many "empty nesters". And I can leave and go home when I want.
Paislee
Right now I'm working on how it is okay that I cannot or think I should get the "perfect" gift for my children. I'm really stressing over it, but working on letting it go. I just can't please everyone...
Still working on how my house isn't decorated the way I'm accustomed to doing it. It is very minimal right now...I have no ornaments on my fake tree...just colored twinkled lights that came with it years ago.
Also I am using the fake tree this year. I usually get a real tree. Anyway, to get the ornaments I would have to do it myself or ask my son or husband to fetch them out of the garage attic.
I could tell they were busy and not as concerned about the decor of the tree. So I'm letting go...I'm feeling the anxious feelings and working with them and lowering my expectations. I found out last night that we aren't opening presents at my house anyway, if I heard that right from hubby.
I'm ready if it does happen and fine if not. We're eating Christmas dinner at a different daughter's house, so that was changed and we will just travel a couple miles farther. I really have it good compared to many "empty nesters". And I can leave and go home when I want.
Paislee