. I started Session 3 a couple days ago and I have to say that I'm feeling more hopeful than I ever have before. Not to say it hasn't been difficult these past few days, physically and emotionally. I'm a college student right now, so it's been difficult for me to whip out my notebook and write down these negative thoughts in the middle of class because I really don't want people to see what's written in there, which I believe is a normal fear since we all know what ridiculous/irrational thoughts we have sometimes. But since I have plenty of other time during the day, I can capture negative thoughts in their tracks then, so in class I don't let myself feel guilty or helpless.
There have also been some emotional ups and downs. Sometimes I'll find myself in such a bad mood and instead of substituting a positive thought, I'll beat myself up with "I cant's", get anxious, and start thinking I won't get better, this is too much for me, and I'll never be able to think positive on a consistent basis. But eventually, I calm myself down and remind myself that this is going to be a long journey in cultivating positivity, so slow down, get comfortable, make it enjoyable, and let these feelings pass (they're going to eventually anyways, mine as well be now!) I'm teaching myself to have short-term memory with bad episodes and to remember the good ones.
It's also so reassuring when I stop to remind myself where I'm at today, which is a much more improved version of myself than I have been in years, or even last week. Before starting Session 3, did anyone here ever calm their anxiety and/or lighten up their depression all by themselves? I know for sure I didn't. I always had to run out of class. I always had to make excuses and leave early from even the most simplest conversations. I would always have to run to the bathroom (I also suffered from IBS.) I always ran from or to something or somewhere to be able to feel safe or relaxed. So even if it is a couple times a day, whenever I subtly take control of my thoughts and win a battle against my anxiety/depression, I always try to immediately realize what I've done and praise myself for what I've done. Nothing feels warmer and more comforting than hearing my self-talk whisper words of encouragement and love in a soothing, empowering manner.
I've far from perfected the skills in this program, so I don't want it to seem like I've already gotten this thing down pat, and I certainly hope I'm not coming off as a know-it-all. I'm just really excited to finally find something that I really think is going to solve these problems once and for all. What this program teaches in this program is truly amazing, but this session has been such a blessing for me, now knowing that I can positively reinforce myself and eventually feel better. If it hasn't worked for anyone yet reading this, do NOT give up. You'll get there eventually and when you do, you will be so, so grateful that you hung in there. Pat yourself on the back. We won't accept anxiety and depression in our lives; we proved that in purchasing this program and working this hard, this far to overcome it.
Remember what the Buddha said: "You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
anyway, I figured what better place than our support group?