Lately I've been getting a lot of progress in 'reclaiming' who I am - the main thing in this is holding opinions and ideas that may not be agreeable with others. Now that I'm getting more mentally independent and active, I have come across the obstacle that has been harmful to me in the recent past and more so -actually verbalizing things in my head to others (in particular my boyfriend - there have been a lot of issues around this with him, but lately he's seen that I am more of a 'person' now and has regained some hope in me).
The main problem is correlated to my memory. I was at work today by myself for about an hour or more working on a single task, and I was getting awesome ideas and inspirations related to keeping my depression at bay and my anxiety dealt with. The thing is, I'm not sure how to deal with those properly, and so I can't help but come up with more negative thoughts and situations (It's more of a 'test' for myself to see what could happen or could be done if those situations arose - life is not always good)... but back to the point - I was having good ideas and such, but as soon as I come into contact with someone else (a fellow employee, my boss, my mother who works in the same place), someone I know, I become distracted with what they are telling me and I forget about what I'm thinking, and usually have a very hard time recalling it. And so, I can't express what I would like to others unless it's through text, and even that can be hard sometimes if it's something really deep or difficult to say (because I'm afraid of their reaction or am in some other manner insecure). Have others encountered this problem?
Peace
Keeping 'oneself' around when others are present
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Guest
congratulations on standing up for yourself, appreciating yourself, being proud of yourself--one day at a time, one step at a time, moment by moment 
your hope and determination are behind your current success; and they will ensure further success.
i can relate to your fear of self-expression. and one of the things that really helped me was taking risks (and learning to become less of a perfectionist). sometimes i just opened up my mouth and took the risk that the words might not come out exactly as i might want. but i learned that trying was better than not trying. i learned that with practice i became more comfortable with expressing myself in a a productive and positive way.
i suggest using your writing skills to journal and keep track of (at least some of) the progress you are making. getting your thoughts down in this way will help you to clear your head a little and plan. . .
keep at it! congratulations on a new and improved you!
your hope and determination are behind your current success; and they will ensure further success.
i can relate to your fear of self-expression. and one of the things that really helped me was taking risks (and learning to become less of a perfectionist). sometimes i just opened up my mouth and took the risk that the words might not come out exactly as i might want. but i learned that trying was better than not trying. i learned that with practice i became more comfortable with expressing myself in a a productive and positive way.
i suggest using your writing skills to journal and keep track of (at least some of) the progress you are making. getting your thoughts down in this way will help you to clear your head a little and plan. . .
keep at it! congratulations on a new and improved you!
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Guest
Originally posted by MC Grace:
congratulations on standing up for yourself, appreciating yourself, being proud of yourself--one day at a time, one step at a time, moment by moment
your hope and determination are behind your current success; and they will ensure further success.
i can relate to your fear of self-expression. and one of the things that really helped me was taking risks (and learning to become less of a perfectionist). sometimes i just opened up my mouth and took the risk that the words might not come out exactly as i might want. but i learned that trying was better than not trying. i learned that with practice i became more comfortable with expressing myself in a a productive and positive way.
i suggest using your writing skills to journal and keep track of (at least some of) the progress you are making. getting your thoughts down in this way will help you to clear your head a little and plan. . .
keep at it! congratulations on a new and improved you!
Agh - that is very helpful advice. I'll make a note of it. Thanks.
That's a difficult thing for me to accept, 'trying is better than not trying', and I fight it every day, but it is true, and I know that. Thank you.