i`m sick and tired of this condition

Darren John · Post by **Darren John** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:42 am

i`ve suffered on and off with panic attacks for about twenty years now but suffer anxiety every single day of my life.It started off driving on roads but over the years my world has got smaller to the point now where i am agoraphobic and the thought of even going to the end of the street scares me.I also have trouble eating and can only eat food whilst lying on the floor in my living room but now whilst eating i start having anxiety/panic attacks and think i`m losing my breath and my chest muscles tighten and i think i`m going to have an heart attack.I must have anxiety attacks at least 10 times a day everyday and its really starting to get me down.I`ve had to give up my job because of my condition and now spend my whole day cleaning and cooking for the kids and my wife.All day long i have negative thoughts and sometimes get thoughts of killing myself which really frighten me because i love life and love my family and dont want to die ever! i`ve tried psychotherapy,hypnotherapy,cognitive therapy but if anything its getting worse I take citalopram 40mg and i`m on lesson 3 of the program and just wondered if anybody had any advice for me?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 3:21 am

Hello!I can really relate.I've had this condition for 13 years.A couple of years ago I hit bottom with it.My anxiety and panic reached an all time high.I literally thought that I was dying.I could barely function.I have 4 kids I could barely take care of them and could not of by myself.I became a severe agoraphobic.I didn't even leave my house for about 2 years.My advice to you would be to start saying enough is enough!I AM STRONGER THAN THIS!Find hope and hold onto it with everything you have.I personally found hope in God.I started to fully trust in HIM.Even though I still have the anxiety and panic I have come along way from where I was.I can now leave my house and go to stores and families houses.I really had thought that I'd never be able to do these things again.You have to start taking control over the anxiety not the anxiety controlling you.Every time it feels like it's starting to consume you put up that STOP sign and refocus.Fear does not control us.Only if we let it.I know how frustrating it is to feel the anxiety all the time but once you start changing the way you let it effect you you'll start getting days where your like "I didn't feel any anxiety today".We have to accept and be patient with ourselves.Like they say we didn't become this way over night.It will probably take awhile for us to fully learn how to conquer this but in the mean time we don't have to let it steal our joy.Hold onto that hope and trust.You'll see things will slowly begin to change.Your self esteem will begin to little by little build back up.Before you know it you'll be wanting to leave your house without having to drag that fear with you.I hope this has helped you.Take care and God Bless!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 3:22 am

Darren John,
I so want to give you HOPE. Because Darren there truly is HOPE. You are where, I have been.
My life has changed so much, and I am so very Thankful. This program has been the answer for me. I too could barely leave my home. I felt like I was in a dark hole and I just couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I was in constant fear, anxiety and panic, 24/7. It simply felt like a living hell. I was convinced I was dying. This was 8 years ago. Here I am alive and well. God has been good. I feel this program was heaven sent. I got angry, I decided I was so afraid of dying that I simply wasn't living life. So I was determined I was going to get my life back. This program and God did that for me. Darren focus on this program and give it your all. It is so worth every effort you make. I had to take baby steps and make myself go to the mailbox. Get in the car, drive down the road a little ways, go a little farther the next time. But little by little, you will get there. It takes time, but you can do this. I did, you can. You are strong. I know you don't feel that way now, but you are STRONG. Those that I know that suffer with this condition are the strongest most compassionate people. You have to be compassionate and patient with yourself. I know the program can be scary and overwhelming at times, but never, never give up.
You deserve this, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to have peace. I assure you if you stick with this program and do all they say, you will have that peace, that contentment you are so desperately looking for. I wish you the very best on your journey to recovery. And Yes,
Recovery will come, if you only never give up.
Your New Friend
Angla

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 3:26 am

hello, i understand you soo much, i been suffering from anxiaty for about 2 years now, but i think i have had this since i was little, i am now 28 and i know for sure that i DO NOT WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS for the rest of my life,life is too beautiful to spend time like that!! we just waste time thinking all those negative thougths, on tues i was home and i started having a panic attack i was home alone, what i did i started crying, i could not get out cause i have not car, plus i just moved to mexico and i said to myself i am SOOO FREAKING TIRED OF THIS!!! i also feel anxious everyday and must have mini panic episodes almost 7 times a day or so. and i say GOD please please help me i dont want to be like this anymore!!! let me tell you something by closing all the doors that open for you, you are not going to solve anything i know is hard trust me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but if u keep walking away from your fears they will follow you everywhere you go!! try to do something that makes you feel happy go volunteer or go for a walk with somebody life is too short to live it with fear, pray read a book, or do yoga!! if you continue like this we only make it worse!!! dont think you are the only one like this because i am in the same boat they are many people with this condition, please be strong,i dont know if you are catholic or not, but sometimes i think this... when ever i died, and i meet with god i dont want him to ask me so...Dulce what did you learn, do, who did you help on earth!! i dont want to say well... i was only scared and did nothing with my life, god is with us always and he will not give us a cross that one cannot cary!!! be strong for you kids, your wife, go out there and face the fear, and do it anyway!!!! like lucinda says!! we are not sick or have an illnes we are just special peoplee!! everyday i fight with this anxiaty it is tireying but!! i will not give up and you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!best of luck this is my email if u want to email me mariluk27@hotmail.com

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:28 am

thank you all for your replies they are much appreciated.It is nice to be given some hope from someone.This condition really batters your confidence to the point where my favourite saying is "I CANT".When i was growing up i was never in i was always out playing and i knew no danger now i`m frightened of my own shadow.The thing that makes me really sad is that my wife and kids have no idea how severely this condition is affecting me i try to speak to them but they dont seem interested so i just have to put a false smile on my face and get on with it but it really drains me.I keep saying maybe tomorrow will be different but it never is.You all say God will help but i`ve never really been religious.I go to church for christenings,weddings and funerals thats all.I do think there is a god and hopefully he`s listening to me.Maybe i should believe a little more.Once again thanks for the replies

Help Me Heal · Post by **Help Me Heal** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:42 am

I have a struggle with anxiety 24/7 as well. And it can make you feel like you're losing your mind. For instance, this afternoon, I have to walk over to the store and pick something up. Literally about a 10 minute round trip and I'm getting anxious about it.

It's interesting that you mentioned about eating. Since I've been super struggling with the anxiety, I have a hard time eating. It's kind of hard to explain, but I eat in tiny portions (even though I'm hungry) because when I eat larger ones, I feel funny. Kind of panicky and short of breath.

I'm in week one of the program, and while I'm a little overwhelmed and still trying to figure out a daily schedule to get all of the tasks done to stick with the teachings, I am not going to give up on this. No way. I can already see myself applying certain behavious that I've learned from the program.

You can overcome this! We all can. Stay strong and take care of yourself.

derfy · Post by **derfy** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:55 am

i`m going to try the eat little bits at a time and see if thats any easier.I too get short of breath and that really freakes me out.I`m on lesson 3 and i have started to see me using postive statements to myself but just when i think this is it i`m feeling a bit better out of the blue i get an anxiety attack which put me back to square one.
You stick to the course and your right we can overcome this condition because we have people on this site who give you nothing but hope!!!
look after yourself and i believe in you

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:48 pm

Hi Darren..

I truly feel for you . I have had panic attacks and depression and all I can say to you is to hang in there. I know it is really really hard but all I can do is to tell you how I got over my problems and hope they help you too.
I had to take medication back in February (2nd time I had to go on Medication). The Dr perscribe me Lovan 20 which had no side effects (very slow acting medication).
I also went to a psychologist which was ruff because I would panic about getting in evelators and she was on the 12th floor!!
Anyways to cut a long story short the psychologist helped but the "Combatting Stress and Depression Program" from this site made sense of everything. After listening to the tapes the Psychologist was amazed of how much I had improved.. My points of succes are the following.
1. Fear of being afraid? Once I became familiar with the feeling of an axiety attack I became less afraid of one. And you know what, I got to the point where I wasn't afraid of getting panic attack and that was the key for me. I haven't had one since March this year. Once you are not afraid of these deceptive feelings the less they will come (if at all)..

2. Remember, people actually pay to feel the symptoms we experience from a panic attack.. For example, looks at people after they get off a roller coaster for the first time. It is an andrenaline rush, just like a panic attack.

3. Learn to breath properly when one is coming. The key is to take the right path in your mind when you feel one coming. When you feel the symptoms breathe in your nose for a count of 3 seconds (slowly) then exhale through your mouth for at least 5-10 seconds.. This will tell your mind to relax and help prevent the adrenanline rush that scares us !!

4. Catch your "What if" thoughts and replace them with "so what if".. I was always thinking "what if I get stuck in an elevator", then I thought "so what if I get stuck!!! It's not that big a deal." If I start to feel anxiety, ride the wave and float threw it and breathe properly.

I truly hope this helps mate and remember it is usually 90% of your mind and only 10% of the environment which judges the way we feel..

Take care

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 19, 2008 8:36 am

Hang in there Darren John. you are not alone. there are a lot of us fighting this stuff. I am in week 4 of the program and can see a huge difference in my attitude and anxiety is almost gone. it does resurface from time to time, but, I now have the tools to snuff it out.

just keep with the program every day and if you have a bad day, hey it is okay, they just are not all going to be good. I had to repeat day 7 of session 3 because I felt like I didnt really work it enough. at first it bothered me, but, then I realized that not everybody will progress thruogh the sessions at the same clip. So, it was okay for me and I repeated it and really came out of it much stronger.

The one thing that helps me is to write in my journal and to talk to myself with my writing. I let myself know if today was a good day or just an okay day. But, I always reinforce the positive in my journal...this really makes me feel good in my soul...something I have not felt in along time...sometimes while writing I listen to a free radio program on the internet called Pandora radio...check it out it is pretty cool and you can tailor your own channels to your music tastes...one that I find really relaxing is "Nature Sounds".

Give it try and I hope it helps. If not, keep on going and look for the good.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:14 am

where are you in ky kyjc,I am also from ky it always interest me when I see someone from ky.wish I could find someone close but I am in arural part a 100 miles from anywhere a small place called columbia ky.