Stress Center Peer Support

The wrong that I have done is not etched in stone, the pain that I have caused was not by choice. It is understandable for these people to feel upset and their opinions are valid. I too was in pain which lead to the pain of others, we all affect each other's lives. There are opportunities to go back and appologize when we're ready. If part of this condition right now is to be self-centered or self-absorbed then I'm going to do this and accept it for now and appologize for it later. I'll worry about it later.

Sataurday;

I've been feeling so very overwhelmed lately because there is just so many things I want to get done both forum and cbt related as well as non-CBT stuff. I have constantly still been struggling with the rushed like feelings which are the same ones that I'd been having throughout this entire challenge and way before that as well. I couldn't understand why it was that I kept feeling the need to rush. I did use a technique (vertical arrow) and figured out some core beliefs and I thought more on the core beliefs that the technique exposed and I realized something. It isn't so much about rushing itself...It is that I try to finish big tasks as soon as I possibly can (which would be more appropriate to spread among several days) and I have alot of things I want to do but have not wrote out everything and so I was afraid of forgetting things too! So with that I sat down and wrote out everything that I wanted to get done. I then labeled things that would take a short time to complete, a long time to complete as well as things that I have no choice and have to complete slowly over the course of several days.

I went back and checked out the action assignments from this lesson and several other lessons from previous lessons and well one said to get a calender and write out a plan of action and put the steps you need to take on this calender. I didn't have a calender for this year but I still wanted to utilize this. I started and wrote down the things i'm planning to do tomorrow. I picked a couple of things that could take awhile to complete and some that it didn't take that long at all. For the ones that would take more time I told myself that I would only be willing to put 1 hour into it and then move on. (This idea of time management actually comes in a later lesson). I feel really silly because I've had this realization before in my past and felt the same way but I kept forgetting it. Hopefully I can stick with it this time and it will allow me to enjoy doing things more and to take my time with all my activities. Maybe I should just tattoo it on to my body so I don't forget!

I also saw the 6 step thing and again, I forgot about it! Maybe I need a tattoo of that as well. Maybe just a 6 or something to remind me!

I have become a total scented-candleaholic. I have bought so many diffrent smelling ones! I got mint cookie, lavender, blueberry, vanilla, indian fruit, peach-mango, sugar cookie, and some invigorate one. The indian fruit and invigorate have a really familiar smell and I haven't smelled them since I was younger. I can't exactly remember where or when I smelled it but I'm wondering if these smells might unlock some hidden memories in me. If not I can at least enjoy the lovely scents. I want to buy so many more they are so awesome and I can pick a diffrent smell everyday if I wanted to. These are so much better then fabreeze or the glade plugins.

I also have changed how I do the thought replacements again. I said in a previous post how I realized I hadn't really listened to myself so I'm going to use the communication techniques to come up with responses so check it out!

Thought replacement
1)I should be out getting a job, the program says to face big limitations.
[Should] Guilt
Disarm->[Getting a job certainly is one of my big limitations that causes me alot of worry and having a job would bring in more income which would be helpful] but it certainly won't help me psychologically since I still haven't overcome the problems that made me struggle with all my other jobs and got me fired from my last job. Its ok if I have to wait a little longer in the mean-time I still have other big limitations I can focus on.

2)I'm not even looking for a job, I'm not doing what I need to do in order to overcome the anxiety and depression.
[Should, Mental Filter, All-or-Nothing] Worried, Discouraged Guilty
Disarm[No I'm definately not looking for a job right now and it is something I will need to do to overcome the anxiety and depression.] It however isn't the only thing I need to do and I still have a ways to go and I have time on my side. Its a process and I'm working up to it by handling some other big issues and there is nothing wrong with that. I move along at my own speed.

3)I need to overcome this condition as soon as possible.
[Should] Worried, Frustrated
Disarm-> and I deserve to be out there living my life and making the best of it (stroking technique) and I will get to that point but I just need to be patient for a little while longer and continue to put my best foot forward. It might take me awhile to overcome this condition but that doesn't mean it'll take me awhile before I feel happy and enjoy life. I can start to do that now.

4)I need to finish the techniques to change core beliefs as soon as I can.
[Should, Magnification] Overwhelmed, Nervous
Disarm->[I have been suffering for a long time and so it's understandable to want to overcome this very soon.] I don't deserve this suffering (Stroking technique), however it is a progressive process to overcome the condition. Its not going to be much diffrence if I take a couple of days to work on more core beliefs. It actually might help me more because I wouldn't be as overwhelmed with such an expectation.

5)I have too many things I need to get done, its too overwhelming.
[Magnification] Overwhelmed
Disarm->[I do have many things that I'd like to get done and some things I need to get done and if I focus on all of it at once, I'm going to get overwhelmed.] I have written out all my goals and I can do a few of them a day and slowly finish my list. There is no law stating when it all nees to get done and its good to constantly have things to work on anyways.

6)I should've kept up with the 6 steps, that just shows that I don't really want to overcome this condition.
[Should, All-or-nothing, Mental filter] Guilty, Discouraged, Hopeless
Disarm->[It very well might seem like I'm avoiding overcoming the condition by not using the 6 steps and maybe on some level I really am.] I still have made alot of great progress with all the other techniques so that at least shows that I'm not avoiding it completely. Now that I recognize this, I can get back to using the 6 steps.

7)I'm just distracting myself and avoiding recovery. I'm not going to overcome this.
[Mental filter, fortune telling] Hopeless, guilt
Disarm->[If I completely avoided it, I definately wouldn't recover or overcome the condition and to some degree I might be avoiding it] but I'm still putting effort towards getting better and that will still give me results. Perhaps in the future if I keep going, I won't feel the need to avoid and distract myself as much and I'll progress even faster.


Mike

Sweet Mike, good stuff. I read the two posts previous to this last one, hopefully I'll get some time to read this later. Yeah with the self talk tapes, you want to repeat them each 3 times, in the context of "I'm, and me" and then at the end of the tape, you repeat them once each in the form of "you" so "You are confident and sure of what you know is right" "It is EASY for you to relax and use self talk, in ANY situation" That last one is one of mine
And yeah it says to get someone else to say it but I didnt have time to get someone else to record it, and if it takes a little longer to believe my own words, then so be it. But I also read in another forum that when you hear your OWN voice say it its easier to believe and it becomes an "internal voice" quicker... or something to that effect. I however was also able to find some FREE self talk tapes online by a lady on panic & anxiety, worry, depression, and stress. They are 5 minutes each and I find them VERY helpful. i think they might have been made by someone who had went through the the program program, because everything she says it like an echo of all we're learning. i'll try to find you a link.

But Yeah I just load all this stuff up on my ipod and listen to it while I go out on my daily bike ride or just whenever I'm doing anything that doesnt need my audio involvment. Shad says in his book that, even if you're not listening to the tapes, your subconsious is quietly listening, so in theory they should be able to be used anytime. I try to listen to them 4 times a day, and more on some days. I also repeat the the program program lessons daily or almost daily (Im starting to stick to doing it everyday) and THIS has helped me tremendously because it has really ingrained a new belief system in me.

Relaxation has been a HUUUUGE help to me as well. I could NOT relax before. And I mean, NOT. It took me like two weeks of listening to the FULL relaxation cd (that is 45 minutes) at least twice a day, and then one day, I was just ABLE to call up the relaxation response,and now I have gotten rid of 90% of all generalized anxiety if not more. Even under stressful times. I also looked into meditation and am dedicating myself to be an EXPERT in relaxation and meditation. It is SUCH a special treat when I dedicate myself to it. I come out feeling amazing and elnlightened.

One last thing, the most helpful mantra I have found is:
I know my body,
I am not my body.
I know my mind,
I am not my mind.
I know my witness,
I am not my witness.

Combined with focusing and visualizing on a white dot (with or without a circle around it) while my eyes are closed is great. I switch between different techniques like this to reach deeper levels of relaxation and in an effort to keep myself focused... or rather UNFOCUSED haha XD take care

AHA I FOUND IT! http://www.sound-mind.org/self...k-mp3-downloads.html

also, yeah its good to put music in the background of your talk tapes. 60 Beats per minute (BPM) is supposedly ideal for learning. My first self talk tape is 14 mins long and with no music, and my second has music and is 10 mins long.

OH and another bit of info...
I read on another site, that self talk in the form of a question is more effective because it has your subconscious looking for an answer.
So like, "why is it so easy for me to relax?" "Why am I such a great self talker?" "how is it that it's so easy for me to see anxiety as excitement?" etc
Hope this helps!!

This song is about forgiveness;

Forgiveness by Sarah McLachlan

Enjoy!


Mike

a.marble1

Right I forgot about the I'm and me and then you at the end.

"You are confident and sure of what you know is right" "It is EASY for you to relax and use self talk, in ANY situation"

I'm assuming you didn't get that first one from Shad's book. Or perhaps it was in a script I didn't write down. Like the quit smoking script. The 2nd one is a good affirmation.

There are diffrent theories when it comes to affirmations. I can see the logic in both saying them yourself and having other people say them. I think maybe if the person has alot of self-esteem issues and really doesn't trust themselves it could be more beneficial to get somoene else to record them in the beginning and then after awhile just recording some themselves.

I didn't actually read the whole book and I was wondering if you had to actively listen to what was being said in order for it to work. Thank you for answering my question about that. I had been listening to them once a day because it took an hour to go through all of the scripts. I got overwhelmed and just stopped doing it.

When you repeat the lessons daily do you listen to the whole thing or just sections?

Wow you are really inspiring me right now! Relaxation has been very difficult for me probabbly because I have been rushing and trying to do alot of things in one day. I never tried to do the whole cd for each session. That sounds like a good idea! I have generalized anxiety and so its good to hear that you have gotten rid of 90% of it. That sounds like it really has helped you and made your life so much better.

I will check out the link you sent, it sounds like it might be useful.

I had put music in the background with some audio files I made with the affirmations as well. I used mostly music that had no words but fit the emotions of the script I was trying to create. I used alot of videogame and ambient music. It definately helps to create that sense of passion and link that up with the affirmations.

Thats really good! I had not thought of mixing the 2. The idea of questioning is something that Tony Robbins talks about and he does mention about how it makes your mind find things that correspond to the question and are true about it. Thats actually really amazing that you linked those 2 up! At the same time however, if the belief is not really true in the least bit, it might be too difficult for someone to accept.

One thing I wanted to add and i'm not sure if its in Shad's book but I realized something that can help in accepting these affirmations. When you first listen to them, do it actively and look at them not in a black-or-white way but in shades of gray. It certainly isn't 100% true or 100% false but it can be 10 or 20% true and the more the use the affirmations the higher that percentage goes up!


Mike

a.marble1;

Holy crap! You weren't kidding, this person definately must have gone through the program! I listened to the anxiety and panic file. Its got nice background music and good affirmations. I don't agree with all the affirmations but most of it is good. She has good energy too! Thank you alot for sharing this link, its very helpful. You definately have given me a few things to think about, thank you.


I definately recommend everybody else to check this out too.

Mike

Yah good stuff as usual man. Um I HAVE noticed my belief system start to change. I dont know if it is because of Lucinda's program, or my self talk tapes, or a combo of both but its great. I want to listen to the self talk tapes for at least 10 weeks before I try to decide if and how beneficial they are. We'll see. Shad says after 10 weeks he had lost some 50 odd pounds? Using his tape talk for losing weight.

Good point on the believability of them, I am using both my own tape talk and the one on the site (not using the one on the site nearly as much) but it may be more beneficial, it is CERTAINLY helpful (the one from the site, with the ladies voice instead of your own).

I relisten to the lessons in their entirety. Some days I will repeat lesson 3 and 2. Those are usually the ones I repeat, either those, or the lesson Im currently working on that particular week. I find reading through the guidebook slowly and really trying to absorb the info as I ether copy it word for word on my yellow pad/journal or just taking notes on it is really helpful. I want to really absorb this program and so I try to use every medium; visual, audio, reading, writing, and practicing. Dont think I could use smell for this one.. hahaha

Yeah about relaxation, really, TAKE THE TIME. TREAT YOURSELF. 45 minutes in a row. Twice a day when you can. It is the best kind of exercise, as it stimulates body, mind, and spirit. It DOES take time to learn to take a passive attitude, and its something you have to ACTIVELY pursue. It does take at least a couple weeks so dont beat yourself up for not acquiring it, no matter how long it takes. It is also something that I think needs to be actively participated in throughout the day, whenever you feel yourself tense up. This is how I did it... I would relax, and try to KEEP myself in such a state, as I went on with my day, slowing down in all ways and repeating some of the mantras I use in relaxation/meditation. Then I can easily feel when I start to tense up, and I just bam, start letting loose and relaxing everything and it just all comes together (once you have gotten it "down" using Lucinda's tape) You see I figured that I would really start to notice when I derived from a relaxed state, if I just tried to keep myself in one. You wont stay AS relaxed as when you're in deep meditation of course but you can stay very relaxed and 'in tune' and completely comfortable with the world around you. This reduces stress a LOT and is hugely healthy.

Another thing, is that if, when you go to start working on your limitations, you START with a level 0 of anxiety and stress.. well you'll probably only reach a level 3 or 4 lets say when your trying something stressful, rather than STARTING at a level 2 or 3 before you even go out and then rising 3 or 4 notches from THAT POINT.

Some additional helpful mantras are just repeating the word "ONE" orr "OHM". "ohm" has been used for centuries if not many decades. It is said to be the resonating "sound of the universe" and you are supposed to feel the vibrations of ohm when you say it, in the front of your forehead. I say it silently tbh and try to focus on it and sort of imaginary vibrations from. "GOD" is also a mantra I use and combine it with the "ONE" and "OHM". One very cool thing about mantras is that you can repeat them (as they are WORDS) silently to yourself while you are out working on your limitations and they almost INSTANTLY call upon that part of your brain you've related to your relaxed state and you can relax REAL quick.

Thanks for that "shades of grey" advice, I think it will prove to be quite helpful. So yeah relaxation is an ACTIVE practice just like a positive mental attitude is an ACTIVE attitude. Though what you are actually pursuing in relaxation is a PASSIVE attitude, so its a funny way to think about it.

I was also able to find a couple Napoleon Hill audio programs on... ahem.. the internet... and one is called "Keys to positive thinking" and it comes in 3 parts and the other is just the "think and grow rich" book in an audio tape version. I listen to these once in a while maybe once a week or bi-weekly. But at first I did listen to them everyday. They are all about positive thinking. I have a lot to write about that, but I'll share it on another post soon cuz this one is getting long haha.

Anyway I hope this helps ENJOY!

Are we going to move to lesson 10 Monday?
Just wondering?

I'm good with what ever everyone wants to do.
I had a nice weekend, back to work Monday! Lots of baking and cooking this week with Thanksgiving on Thursday. I am thankful for the people in my life, and all that has been provided. Getting excited to see everyone, and excited to see if I can handle the challenges. Dr. Phil was on Tv this am reminding everyone to lower their expectations of the holidays. It was a good pep talk!

Life is good!

a.marble1;

Its a great thing to notice how your brain changes in how it automatically sees things eh? I do remember seeing a youtube video of him saying he permenantly lost 50lb simply listening to that tape while he shaved every morning and his wife lost weight too! I remember I had one of those ah-ha moments when it came to guilt and my sleep problems and I did some self-talk which was the same for a couple of days so it really was an affirmation and I felt soo much better when I woke up. I then found Shad's book and because of that experience I put all my belief into Shad's methods and I was noticing changes right when I was writing down my own set of affirmations, It was pretty cool! Especially when I wrote the ones about perfection! My favorate one I made is;

"Perfection does not exist, I enjoy working and always improving. I am satisfied with my efforts. When I improve and do better, I am even more satisfed."

I think I may follow suit using both my own tape and that lady's.

Holy crap! You sound as determined as I am! I usually write as I read from the workbook as well. Some word for word and some just a summary. Thats great that you have so much determination and put so much effort into it, its impressive! I also do that too. Just don't fall into the same trap as me and push yourself so much that you become really overwhelmed and drained. Its kinda funny if you think about it, being overwhelmed by something thats suppose to help you overcome the feelings of overwhelm.

When I first got the program, I would listen to the tapes do the thought replacement and workbook stuff for all the time I wasn't at work (I worked full-time) but then I even brought my spiral notepad to work and did thought replacement there. On top of that I tried to listen to the same audio files on assertiveness, increasing memory and some other things and I even wanted to put subliminal tapes on while I slept! As for the smell you could definately use it. Tony Robbins talks about linking things together and you could use that idea. With the Pavlov theory they used dogs, bells and meat. They would ring a bell and then give a dog some meat and at a certain point (21 days) they found that when they rang the bell the dogs started to salvate. So using this you could technically get some kind of fragrance from like those little aroma therapy bottles and each time you get a certain feeling you take a sniff of that scent. Then if you want to bring that feeling back you can carry the bottle with you and it could envoke the feeling. You could even use the questioning technique to put yourself in a good mind state on a daily basis to quicken it.

I could definately benefit from listening to lesson 2 on a more frequent basis and I think I might now that you talked about it. I keep forgetting the 6 steps, its annoying!

I think my problem had to do with time management. I kept feeling rushed to do so many things and I avoided the relaxation cd. When I did use it though, it didn't help too much but thats because I couldn't break my focus from the worry and concern. I did write down all my goals and have started to write down the things I plan to do the next day and well its helping today (day 1). So perhaps this is a good time to try using it the way you mention, 45 minutes in a row.

Definately you would be able to handle your limitations better. I have actually been doing the program on and off for 6 years and I have noticed what you have said to be true for the most part. There have been many situations where I went from a level 2 to like a level 8 or 9 but it lasted maybe 2 seconds and it quickly went away. Its cool when that goes away!

Wayne Dyer mentions the Ohm chanting for his evening chanting and Ah for his morning chants. I do enjoy the morning chants, they are calming. I also say ah alot because its something they say alot in the anime I've been watching for many years. This is the association idea at work that you are talking about. You could also look at it in terms of What the Bleep and the neuropathways too.

Ya the Active/passive idea is kinda funny when it comes to relaxation. We actively have to do nothing!

Napoleon Hill is the guy who Lucinda quotes on lesson 3. You know whats funny, I just realized that Napoleon is not that old french guy from history. I think that is Napoleon Bonapart. Everytime I heard Napoleon Hill, I thought of the explorer dude! It sounds like something to check out since she had quoted it and it was a nice quote. I can't wait till you post about it. I don't think I will look at the program however until we finish the challenge!

Also because of what you told me I have come up with a really good idea...The Ultimate Affirmation tape! You said to state the affirmation 3 times and you were also talking about stating it in a question form. So I think what I want to do is to state the actually affirmation twice and then the 3rd time will be in question form (at least with the affirmations that I can mostly accept for myself but with the ones I struggle with i'll just leave it as repeating it 3 times). Also at the end I would like to get someone else to say it in the "you" format!


Mike

THH;

We basically started this lesson on sataurday and I'd like to continue with our 1.5 week idea. So i'm thinking Wednesday. I also have a few things to post.

Good ol Dr.Phil! Nice how you get the messages right when you need them eh? I'm glad you enjoyed thanks giving!


Mike