Stress Center Peer Support

No offence here, Wildcard.
You spoke it as you see it.
But those of us who believe in a Higher Power call on that source to do what we can't.

Honety is very good.
Have a great evening.
MJ

Ditto to what MJ said
We all feel for ya KSL.

Ok guys im back. its been a hard few days for this house. we are not argueing at all we are very civil.
Friday night she went to the bonus room where we always go and sat there for an hour or better with her head in her hands sniffling. I patted her on the leg and said tell me whats in your heart i promise were not going to argue. She said i dont know where to start and i said tell me what you want. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said shes just not happy anymore. i asked her was it me she said no she just didnt love me the way she should. At this point i can feel my heart racing so i made sure to run every word through my heart before it came out my mouth. I asked her if she loved me she said yes but not the way a wife should love her husband. she couldnt say it so i did i said to her do you want a divorce and crying she said yes. As hard as it was for me i said its ok i told her i loved her and didnt want this. I asked her for us to goto marriage counseling and she said no it wont help she said she has been feeling this way since last summer. I told her if she would have been open and honest with me i would have done anything to make it right. She just kept saying it wasnt me and then she said ive always been honest not always open. I said in a soft voice you cant be honest if you cant be open. again i asked her about counseling and she said no. I told her i didnt want this but i didnt want to see both of us hurting. she agreed and i asked her if i could give her a hug and she said yes. She told me i was a good man and a wonderful father but she just didnt love me like i neede to be loved. we probably talked for another hour or so about memories and how 18 years could die so quick she apologized and said she was sorry and thats when the last brick was laid around my heart. All of this took place on friday night and i got in bed and didnt sleep at all and had to get up the next morning and goto work and i was wiped the whole day. Oh i forgot to tell you i asked her ir she felt better now that she told me and she said yes. that she had not been sleeping. when she came into the bedroom she asked me do i need to sleep in the other room and i said no honey its ok get in bed. in less than 2 minutes she was snoring. The next morning i asked her how she slept she said better.
Guys im reallt tired so tommorrow i will fill you in on sunday when we told the kids. And please no mor bickering on this thread i want you to know this has helped me more than anything.
Karl

Karl,

Sorry to hear about the result of a terrible year and last couple of weeks. It's hard when someone stops loving you for little or no reason. I've been there and it hurts. I hope the kids will be alright and that you and your wife can both lead happier lives in the future. It's never easy and wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Good Luck

Ok im back and a little more rested. so saturday she was more talkative with me i was more in conversations than i was for the last 3 months. and my daughter said look momma is talking more maybe shes coming around. i just hugged her. It was that moment when i knew we had to tell the kids. i was not going to let them have false hope for their mother and i. Saturday night the kids went and spent the night with my sister to give me time to talk to her. I told her we have to tell the kids and she said i know. So sunday i work and i get off at 5 i get home and shes on that damn facebook and the kids are still at my sisters so i tell her im going to get the kids from my sisters and your gonna tell these kids tonight. she didnt say anything. I brought the kids home and fixed dinner for them and she never came in the room with the kids while they were eating. I went in and told my soon to be exwife come upstairs we needed to talk. she got up and we went upstairs. i told her she was going to tell the kids she wanted the divorce not daddy. she started crying and said i dont want to lose my babies. I told her i was going to get the kids together and she needed to tell them so i went down stairs got the kids and about 10 minutes later she came down. so were sitting on the couch daughter, daddy, son and momma. she starts by saying that she needs to talk to them and says theres gonna be some changes around here that her and daddy were getting a divorce and this is her decision not daddys. everyone starts crying but me and i dont know why i think anger took over. i comforted the kids then momma just hugged them and was balling this went on quite awhile and was the hardest thing i have ever had to witness. my son the 11 year old got in my bed and me and his momma comforted him he cried hisself to sleep. my daughter 15 had to goto the bathroom and i looked at her and said it didnt have to be like this we could have worked it out and she had the gawl to look at me and say dont make me feel any worse than i already do and ran off the other room to cry. Im angry im watching all this destruction going on and my wife is the cause of it all. when my daughter calmed down i told her to go get in my bed with her brother tonight so the 3 of us got in our bed and momma got on the couch and went right for what?? you guessed it the laptop and that facebook. Any love i had for my wife died that night. i care about her but she is no longer my responsibality. My focus is on our children and keeping them focused in school.
The next day we both had to work and i knew it would be tough on the kids waking up wondering if it was a dream and realizing it wasnt. I probably called the kids every 30 minutes just to hear their and let them know i love them at 11 oclock their mother still had not called or texted them to check on them.
I think at this point she is smitten by someone i sure hope hes worth it. Yes i am bitter and im sure its just one of the many emotions i will feel before its over. I will keep you posted.
MY ONLY FOCUS IS MY CHILDREN.
Karl

Karl,

I sure hope you are doing ok. I sure am sorry to hear this and I sure will be thinking of you! Please do keep us posted and dont forget to take care of YOU also!!!

Well she has moved into the spare bedroom for now. she treats the kids like there her friends not a mommy. i noticed that she took off that she was married on facebook and took her religious status as well. i had to go today and get her name off of the accounts so that she wouldnt be responsable for any of the bills. i told her i would pay all the bills and she could start fresh with no debt. I told her the kids need to stay here in their own beds to heal. she agreed. It amazes me i dont even know who she is anymore. she finally talked to her mom but has yet to talk to her dad and he is so mad and he told me he wasnt going to say anything to her until she told him. Me and her family are very close. I know all of this is keeping me so tired but i find strength somewhere cause i have to be strong for the kids.
If any of you are going through this and are reading this i beg you to be open and talk to your spouse. I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. Goodnight and i will keep you posted.

Well today was a good day. my daughter is off at a music competition and she got 1st band 3rd chair. i am glad that she is staying focused for right now. i know tough times are still to come. I checked my son out early from school and we went to the movies and went and had dinner. My wife has been staying in the hotel with my daughter playing the friend while i play the daddy. I will try to keep you posted daily. If anybody has been through this and has any tips for me im all ears. This is all new to me.

Ksl
More prayers and major Kudos for your girl. What a bright spot in the uncertain perhaps
gray you are feeling. One day at a time. Make lots of special memories of laughter, focus on just the good and not the bad. Which may feel like an impossible task but I think it will help the kids heal a little.
Take Care
Jill~

Hi ksl .
I do not have any tips for you, but I have seen my brother's heart crushed by his ex wife!!!

They have a daughter together, who will be 19 in a couple of months!!!

His ex sure did do a number on him!!! In his mind, they were going to spend their entire lives together and raise their daughter, (my niece), who was only 12 at the time of the divorce!!!

Whenever he found out all of the things, that she was doing behind his back, he was shocked and soooo crushed!!!

They did not have a computer, but she was texting guys on her cell and doing ungodly things via the texting!!!

My brother was (and still is) a deacon at our little church, and he never had a clue, that she could not be trusted!!!

She even tried to get their 12 year old daughter to go to school and sell stuff..(illegal stuff)

She had been doing drugs behind his back, and he was clueless, plus texting guys, plus going out with other guys...You name it, she was doing it...

She would pretend she was going to a friend's house after church and since she was a professional liar, she could look you straight into the eyes and lie, and you would never know it...She had a way of working with people's minds...It is very difficult to explain..

Nonetheless, their daughter ended up telling on her own mother!!! Worse came to worst, and she ended up admitting to every single thing!!!

My brother filed for a divorce!!! I stood by his side the entire time!!! It was sooooo difficult and my niece was soooo torn!!!

My brother said that if both of our parents had passed away at the same time, then it could not have hurt him any worse...

And this is really saying something, since we are an extremely close family, who would do anything within our power to help each other in any way...We are sooo tight, that it is very difficult to explain our closeness!!! We love each other VERY VERY DEEPLY!!!

The reason that I am telling you these things, is because I do want you to know that you can go on without your wife!!! And that many, many others have walked in your shoes and have survived it, and so will you!!!

It may seem like the end of the world, but life goes on!!!

My brother went through many emotions...Hurt, pain, anger, and frustration to name a few!!!

It took him awhile, but by the Grace of God, he made it through all of it!!!

He never stopped attending church and he never stopped praying!!! God blessed him soooo much, even during this difficult time in his life!!!

Divorces are soooo very difficult on the entire family!!! When one hurts, then every one seems to hurt!!!

I don't know how to express how sorrowful I am that you are going through such a rough time!!!

All I know to do is to pray that God gives you the strength to take one day at a time and realize that, although it may seem like the end of the world, it isn't!!!

It is kinda like closing some chapters in your life and beginning anew!!! A new beginning, or something like that is a good way to look at it!!!

Someday in the future, you will meet someone who will love you (and whom you will love in return) and remain with you for the rest of your life!!!

Then, you will look back all of this and wonder why it caused you soooo much pain and heartache!!!

When children are involved, it is never easy!!!

Here is a site that may be of some help...

Children and Divorce

Here is a little song for you...Enjoy!!!

God Will Make a Way!!!

Many prayers going out in your direction!!! May God richly bless you ksl!!!