Stress Center Peer Support

What-if the anxiety from facing the anixety is less than that from avoiding it? What-if I feel more comfortable with anxiety and it dissipates? What-if I see my anxiety as excitement and never fear it ever again? What-if what they say is true and I realize that most of my worst thoughts never happen? What-if I regain control of my life? What-if I started to believe that there is no such thing as failure? What-if I faced my anxiety and realize that nothing can stop me from achieving my dreams?

Lesson 8 workbook notes

Anticipatory anxiety = memory reaction (this is very important because this memory reaction doesn't take into account the skills we have been developing! Yes that anticipatory anxiety might have been how we reacted to the situation before but alot has changed and if we can trust in that change and the skills we now have then we can overcome this memory and the anticipation of the worst possible outcome.)

Fear worse then actually outcome

Wall of anticipatory anxiety keeps you from taking chances that will help improve your life. (This is big for me because it just reminds me that as long as I listen to the anticipatory anxiety and follow through with its message that its too dangerous then I'll never get that amazing life that I want. Sure the anxiety in the moment of facing a limitation is intense but its very short lived and I will take several moments of that instead of a lifetime of constant generalized anxiety and the obsessive thoughts that come with it!!!)

My limitations now include;

1)Confrontation
2)Working
3)Relaxation
4)Cleaning and maintenance of my room
5)Concern about judgement of others
6)Fear of heights

How am I going to work on these limitations;

1)Practice on a daily basis to use the assertiveness and communication techniques in a non-hostile environment with artificial insults and argeuments on tape and ask people that I've upset to tell me everything about me they don't like and use the disarm, inquiry and empathy then put myself into situations by being myself, joking and silliness.

2)Practice interview skills on a daily basis firts alone then roleplaying with a friend and then actual interviews. Schedual workout time at the same time every morning for at least a certain ammount of time and set my alarm for the same time everyday. Apply to jobs and pick one.

3)Use relaxation when I wake up, when walking over or after working out and before sleep. Switching up the relaxation/guided meditations, underload my day and replace thoughts when they come up.

4)Get a laundry basket, spend 5-10 minutes a day just on my room. Break it down into smaller parts and just focus on that. Replace anxious thoughts.

5)Tell myself I'll worry about it alter, do a cost/benefit (pro and con) list, work through the "worst case senario" in the feared fantasy method and record onto tape and then do and say what I want when I want and focus on the benefits of criticism when I'm being criticized. As well as listen to the affirmations.

6)Imagine myself feeling really strong and relaxed and then imagine myself going up in a really high elevator in the CN tower and do this on a daily basis until I actually go up there on the CN tower. While I'm going up there I will also do something really silly and add the humor to deal with the fear that might be coming up.


Play environmental sounds (ocean, rainforest, mountain springs) for most of the day. Rent or purchase a relaxation video. [This sounds like it would be a nice idea, I don't think i've ever seen a relaxation video before any suggestions for this one?]

Take responsibility for how I feel. "What am I doing to contribute to or worsen these negative feelings? What can I do to help myself?" (This is pretty big because I have found in the past that I would ignore this kind of question and just keep trying to stuff my feelings and that was actually worsening the feelings. I can simply accept the feelings and work with them and that can help me)

Deal with any body symptoms right away - don't let them build. (This is another big one for me because trying to stuff my feelings had made it impossible to do this! I'm noticing now that I can do it now that I'm allowing myself to do the things that I really want to do and be who I really want to be. Its amazing how doing something you think is going to cause alot of pain actually causes alot of relief)

Practice frequently and regularly. Accept some anxiety - this is normal. Could it be excitement? (Practice doesn't only have to be in actually situations although it is prefered, it can be imaginary situations where you create it all in your head and you practice that way too! Accepting that it is likely to create anxiety while facing the limitation is so relieving and if you could see anxiety as excitement well then it'll be so much easier to get through it and float with it)


Mike

What-if the anxiety from facing the anxiety is less than that from avoiding it? What-if I feel more comfortable with anxiety and it dissipates? What-if I see my anxiety as excitement and never fear it ever again? What-if what they say is true and I realize that most of my worst thoughts never happen? What-if I regain control of my life? What-if I started to believe that there is no such thing as failure? What-if I faced my anxiety and realize that nothing can stop me from achieving my dreams?

Monday

I'm getting stronger everyday! That same passion I got when seeing the madonna interview is still there! I still feel very good about being who I want to be and its given me alot of strength in fact i've used that strength to face some limitations today.

Today I had hip-hop and I was a little concerned about it and had some anticipatory anxiety over it because well I had sent a message to the instructor to figure out about why he hadn't messaged me back after I did shiatsu to his leg after he got an injury. I was also a little concerned because I told myself that I was going to say something silly in the class out loud. Well I was alot more vocal and I had tons more energy. I got very into the dancing and used alot of that energy there and I put alot of energy when I said Yes after he asked if we should do 2 more runs with the choreography! At one point he said take a break and get some water and then asked if we had any questions. So I said "What's the meaning of life?" and everybody laughed with that one! After the class the instructor mentioned about how he saw that I had sent him a message and he saw the title but hadn't read it yet. He did tell me more about how his ankle was doing and well thats what I was intrested in knowing. He also mentioned about the energy I put into the dancing and how I was more vocal and it really did feel good to hear that. I was feeling that too! He had said I put the most energy in today's class and was the most vocal than any other class I've done! I was definately happy about that. It was a good male bonding moment and I felt like I am becoming really good at connecting with other people now. I didn't feel so much like this before, I actually used to feel very empty when it came to other people and my friendships with them. I didn't care so much about other people and I was very self-centered and inconsiderate but I don't feel so much like this anymore! I'm making great progress!

As I was walking home I was singing my music again and I had passed many people but didn't change the volume of my singing, the pitch or tone. I was worried about people criticising me or trying to make me feel bad but nobody said anything. I was singing Madonna songs! That was really freeing to do what I wanted to do and then not be bothered at all by anybody.


Mike

Here is yet another video which i think you guys will like. I'm not sure which era this is. Its Johnny Cash though.

I won't back down by Johnny Cash


Mike

Mike,

When I say clutter I refer to having piles of stuff that doesn't seem to have a place. Right now my dining room table has piles of papers that I have to file or burn. Is not that my whole house is a mess, but there are areas that need attention.

The reason why the FlyLady has worked for me is that puts some type of schedule to the house chores. FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself. When I was working, I had someone who helped me by cleaning the house once a week. Since I am not working, the cleaning is now my responsability, and a chore that I do not like. So, following the suggestions of the FlyLady website has been really helpful.

Thank you for making me feel better about missing some posts. I am sure everybody will understand.

I hope everything is going good for you.

Hope

What-if the anxiety from facing the anxiety is less than that from avoiding it? What-if I feel more comfortable with anxiety and It dissipates? What-if I see my anxiety as excitement and never fear it ever again? What-if what they say is true and I realize that most of my worst thoughts never happen? What-if I regain control of my life? What-if I started to believe that there is no such thing as failure? What-if I faced my anxiety and realize that nothing can stop me from achieving my dreams?

Accomplishments:

1) Went to the job interview. It went good. In my way there I kept thinking on cancelling, however I made it all the way there and had the interview. I felt very happy afterwards.

2) Went to a Gyne appointment. I guess all ladies will understand how much I don't like to go to the Gyne Dr. Well I had to go, otherwise they would not refill my meds. I did it. I am not going to say that I enjoyed it, however the Nurse Practitioner was very nice and I left the place with enough medication sample to last me 6 months... which is great because that med is quite expensive.

I feel pretty good.

I hope everybody is doing good.

Hope

Way to go, Hope! Yep, I had to see my GYN twice, actually 3 times this summer. Only because other DRs thought this Dr could solve my anxiety problems. LOL! Funny, to think a GYN can solve anxiety...they cause anxiety!

I'm glad you were able to get your scripts for 6 mos free! Yahoo! I love that!

--I was able to be around my husband w/o stress, DS included.
--Visited w/Daughter in law w/o kids, so it was nice. ~~~To Hope: I found her on the Internet.

--I ate the healthy meal I put together yesterday. And I've felt relaxed today.

Paisleegreen,

I had a hystercthomy last year and after that I started having generalized anxiety. I was having panic attacks way before the surgery, however I do believe that they were in part hormone related. Well, long story short, after the surgery my Dr. started me on hormones, the hormones helped a little with the generalized anxiety, but not with the panic attacks.

Lucinda's program has been the best for me.

I'm glad thing are looking a little brighter

Hope

Hi everyone,
Boy lots has happened sense I was here last! What is up with all the post by slimjim? I clicked on the link, and its blocked? Wonder what that is all about?

I'm good, been busy. This great weather has giving me more time to pick up the yard and put stuff away.

Mike, I found you another version of I won't back down. I'll post it. Its a great song, and I like Tom Pettys version better. Its a 70's band, You may like it too. More Rock n roll.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...a1fo&feature=related


Mike I'm glad you spoke up about those post. That bothers me too.

I was sent this by email it is from a friend of mine. I thought I would post it as it helps keep a perspective the need to keep in mind what is happening with other people, sometimes I have taken things very personal. Not to say sometimes things were really ment for me to take that way, but I liked this training tape for chick fila.
http://www.everydaychristian.com/blogs/post/8589/
Enjoy!

I loved the final comment in our book.
"Fear is a dream trying to push its way out"
Use whatifs to motivate you. What if we really get control of anxiety depression and stress??? I like that thought! It is very freeing....

I will read all the post, I got behind, I know it happens to everyone, and I know there are no worries!
I did see that Hope went on a JOB INTERVIEW!!! Waahooooo! Good for you! Sounds great, and the doctor appt too. I hate those! But your good for awhile - thats how I look at it anyway.

mcshope;

ha yeah i can relate, I have a few piles of stuff around my room that I really don't feel good about.

That is a nice acranim. Finally loving yourself. Thats great that you found that then. It sounds like it has alot of usefulness to it. You did mention something about self praise things that she has that I was intrested in and inquired about.

No worries, life happens.

Everything is ok but i'm rather angry at this moment and I forgot to take my anti-depressants last night so i'm kinda obsessing.

Oh and very good on the interview. Sounds like you were having alot of anticipatory anxiety over it.

Mike

THH;

Yeah there has been many posts and a new person has joined us. Slimjim has spamed this message all over the forums. In his previous post history when you click on his name he has posted 2 pages of that crap.

That version is sooooooooo much better! His voice is just so much more smooth and enjoyable I am so glad you posted this for me, thank you!

I was a little cautious because I try to always be the nice guy and always appear to be in control of my emotional state and I've actually found out recently that I have been using the CBT to control my emotions even more instead of allowing them. Typically I would just ignore it but I didn't want to do that this time. It really bothered me, it was very ignorant to come in and post that, there was no consideration to anybody in this thread as well as all the other places he spammed. That was totally unacceptable!!!

Your book seems to be diffrent in this context. My book doesn't say this but i'm glad you shared it. Its nicely worded!

I liked that thought too which is why I put something similar in my quote of this lesson!

Sure take your time. I do hope you get the chance to check out the posts about the communication skills. It was a bit of a challenge to find some video examples but they are great and so very helpful!

I saw that video and I had tears going down my face. It definately puts a perspective on things!!! And here I am thinking that nobody has had it as hard as I have and I just call everybody else normal! There is so much I have yet to learn!


Mike