Stress Center Peer Support

heatherdcarlton wrote:Im having a hard time coping with being alone does anyone have any tips on how to deal with these scary feelings of being by yourself?

Same advice I give for all anxiety issues... Counter your thoughts in the TEA forms everyday and more often when needed!

To IHsupermom, (hope I'm spelling your user name right

Your user name says something--you are trying to be a supermom--impossible to do. Hope I don't offend you, but I am going to tell you some things i have learned the hard way in the past two years working to get rid of anxiety. We will NEVER be perfect--we can have high standards, but when we start thinking we should be perfect or supermom, look out. We are mortal and prone to mistakes and so we have to accept that and take it easy on ourselves. If you need a xanax, take one--there is no shame in that. Do whatever it takes to get some relaxation. The relaxation tape really helps, as does exercise, yoga, tai chi, chi gong, anything like that. Cut out sugar and caffeine--it hypes you up--you'll learn this in lesson 5. Hope this helps. Keep working the program--you will improve!!

I decided sometime ago to download on my ipod some other breathing exercises and mindfulness meditation. Some meditation music helps. Also if I need to get through a task, trying completely focus on the task minute my minute and keep telling myself I can do it. I think breathing exercises help keep you in the moment. Sounds true has some good resources. Sometimes it is hard to focus on meditation and those types of things, but I'm trying to remember I don't have to do it perfectly, or even good.

Here's a good book on Self Talk "What to Say When You Talk To Yourself," by Shad Helmstetter it really ties into Lucinda's Program.

Good to see you are still around samcat and excellent advice! Perfection does not exist and striving for it only serves to make us miserable.

heatherdcarlton wrote:Im having a hard time coping with being alone does anyone have any tips on how to deal with these scary feelings of being by yourself?

Try using the putting things into perspective exercise and the TEA forms and I think you will eliminate a lot of the fears you are feeling.

lilchrissy wrote:Good to see you are still around samcat and excellent advice! Perfection does not exist and striving for it only serves to make us miserable.

Ditto!

I think that distraction is a good coping stategy. Keep busy and do SOMETHING. You can clean
your house, clean your closets, write in your journal, go onto the website, read a good
self help book or something inspirational. But exercise would probably be a really good
way to use of some of that pent up anxious energy that we have. You don't have to run
a marathon, but just 15 minutes of walking can lift your spirits. Go outside, enjoy the
arts, go to a park, talk to people, join a class, work on the program, get some sunlight.
Changing our thoughts is the number one best successful coping stategy, Session Three
is all about changing our negative thoughts to positive ones. This is the most essential
part of the program and the one that you must work on the hardest.
Lynda

Hi Lynda again,
Just wanted to point out a couple slight differences in what I learned - We really are on the same page but these slight variations may be helpful to some- The changing of our thought patterns in essential but it is changing them to be more objective and realistic not positive that makes the difference imho. The other small variation is that while distraction is effective in the short run it works like a band-aid and can undercut treatment as the key for me was experiencing and confronting my moods and problems. I learned that avoiding them through distraction tends to reinforce their validity and make them stronger going forward and was told to avoid it. However, keeping busy is good in general and a valuable skill regardless of where you are in your life.

Thank you so much for the insight. You are so right !
Lynda

WW wrote:Hi Lynda again,
Just wanted to point out a couple slight differences in what I learned - We really are on the same page but these slight variations may be helpful to some- The changing of our thought patterns in essential but it is changing them to be more objective and realistic not positive that makes the difference imho. The other small variation is that while distraction is effective in the short run it works like a band-aid and can undercut treatment as the key for me was experiencing and confronting my moods and problems. I learned that avoiding them through distraction tends to reinforce their validity and make them stronger going forward and was told to avoid it. However, keeping busy is good in general and a valuable skill regardless of where you are in your life.

Really good points WW