How Do You Deal with Disappointment, Frustration, Feeling Down, Minimal Expectations

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Charlie Brown
Posts: 442
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2006 2:56 pm

Post by Charlie Brown » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:42 pm

Originally posted by Woman_Left_out:
<span class="ev_code_RED">Red</span>
I deal pretty well with Disappointment and Minimal Execatitons I think. My problem is the frustration and feeling down... I tend to eat alot when I'm feeling down or even mad. Sometimes I just cuss and yell like a mad woman! I know this is not righ, but its like it can't be controled. Hopefully someone out there knows what I'm going through here and maybe give me some good advice how to handle it better?
I know frustration and feeling down--they were my roommates in the 90s :D. Unfortunately they haven't left yet. LOL.

I used to come home from work during the past few of years annoyed and slightly angry. For the first twenty minutes home, I would get annoyed and angry at inanimate objects. Never at my wife. She did nothing wrong. Never extreme or violent. This was like clockwork. After almost a half-hour, I was fine. It wasn't until last year that we figured out it was due to frustration, feeling down, and mild depression...all from lack of career satisfaction.

I made this discovery through counseling and my own efforts.

See if there is something missing, lacking, negative in your life.

I hope that helps.

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Mar 09, 2010 5:04 pm

Hello Charlie, First of all, thanks for the compliment!!! Those really were the good old days :) :) :)

I would like to share an article with you by Catherine Pratt, which may help you to overcome these feelings...


deal with frustration The emotion you’re feeling is “Frustration”.
With a capital “F”.

Maybe even add in some anger because you’ve been working really hard towards your goal or on a project and it just isn’t working.

Or you feel like you’re stuck in a dead-end job and can’t find another one. And you may not even really know why.

All you know is that you seem to be stuck and no matter how hard you try, you don’t seem to get anywhere. You’re just spinning your wheels in the mud and all you feel is pure frustration. Sound familiar?

This is the point where a lot of people will just say, “I Quit” and give up. Before you do though, here’s 8 ways you can blast through any frustration:

1. Ask Yourself, “What Is Working in This Situation?”
Even if feels like nothing is working, look closely and you will probably find at least something that is going right. So, that’s good. You’ve found something that’s working.

Now, how do you improve it? By asking this question, you’ve taken yourself out of the negative mindset of “it’s hopeless” and are back to focusing on the positive.

There's something that’s working and that will give you a clue of what direction to focus on. You may find that even if your previous issues come up you’ll be able to resolve them in the process of concentrating on your improvements.

2. Keep an Accomplishments Log
Write down everything you accomplish in a log. If you do it in a monthly format you will be able to see all that you have accomplished in just one month.

You may be surprised by how much you have done. If you realize there’s not much on the list, it may open your eyes to the fact that you may be procrastinating more than working or that you are using too much of your energy going in too many directions and that you need to focus more.

Hopefully, you will have lots of items on your list then you can see that even though it may not feel like it, you are moving forwards. The log will also help to highlight where you were the most effective and where you need to work harder.

3. Focus On What You Want to Happen
Go back to the big picture. What is the desired outcome?

Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in one problem and trying to solve it that we forget what we were originally trying to accomplish.

Try not to ask yourself, “Why did this happen?” Asking questions like that will keep you rooted in the past. It doesn’t offer a solution to the problem.

The important thing is knowing the answer to the following two questions:
- What do you want to happen differently this time?”
- What do you need to do in order to get there?

4. Remove the “Noise” and Simplify
When you’re trying to solve a problem, you can get so wrapped up in trying to find a solution that you add unnecessary clutter, noise, and tasks to a project because you thought they “might” be a solution.

Working on this website, I get bombarded by offer after offer of “easy ways to run your website”, “get more traffic”, “make more money” etc.

They’re just noise though and usually a waste of my time even reading them. These people are just trying to make money off of me. They have no interest in whether I succeed or not.

When people are frustrated by how slow the hard work process is taking, they get tempted by these “here’s what you’ve been missing” and “I’ll make it easy for you” offers.

Usually, it ends up that if you do get tempted by the offers you discover 6 months down the road that if you had just stuck with your first plan and just kept working at it, you’d be a lot further ahead by now.

Not to mention richer from not having spent money on the Get Rich Quick schemes.

Believe in yourself. Simplify and go back to the basics. Determine what is really necessary and remove everything else. Anything that takes your time and effort that isn’t adding value, should be eliminated.

5. Multiple Solutions
You always have options. You just need to brainstorm and figure them out. Tell yourself you need to come up with 8 possible options to what you’re dealing with. Just knowing that you have lots of options will help to make you feel better. You won’t feel like you are trapped in one negative situation. From your list, figure out the best direction and go for it.

6. Take Action
When you get into serious frustration with a problem, you tend not to want to work on it anymore.

It’s hard, it’s frustrating, and you’re not getting anywhere. So, anything to avoid having to be in that situation may be far more attractive.

Procrastination may start to set in. If you can keep taking steps forwards, you will probably make it past this temporary hump.

As Thomas Edison said, “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up” and “Surprises and reverses can serve as an incentive for great accomplishment.”

The other thing that can happen is that you start to spend a lot of time worrying. Worrying is a definite way of energy and does not move you in a forwards direction. Only taking action will. Once you start moving forwards again, you will most likely find that you worried for no reason.

7. Visualize a Positive Outcome to the Situation
A lot of times you can get stuck on focusing on what you don’t want to happen or fearing the absolute worst thing that could happen.

The top athletes of the world will imagine themselves competing flawlessly over and over again. There is no room for failure in their minds. This is what you need to focus on as well. See yourself achieving your desired outcome.

What will it look like?
What will it feel like?
What will you say?
How will you feel?

Take the time to visualize it and really feel it. It will inspire you to keep moving forwards.

8. Stay Positive
Things are usually not as bad as they first appear. Sometimes, things seem much worse simply because we’re tired or mentally drained.

Taking a break and remembering to keep your sense of humour can also help. This time of frustration will pass.

A positive mind is far more open to solutions and answers than a negative one that thinks it’s just “hopeless” and thinks “what’s the use?”

A closed mind will not be able to see the possible solutions when they do come along. Stay positive.

As with any problem, the solution is to figure out what your options are, decide on a plan, focus, and then take action. By using the above 8 steps, you should find that you’re running into fewer problems and feeling less frustration.

Instead, you may find that you’re running into opportunities and you know exactly how to take advantage of them.

I pray this little article helps you to overcome these feelings of frustration and anger!!!

I used to use earphones and a "relaxation CD" to help me relax, and also to "imagine" my future the way, I would like for it to be!!!

I would imagine myself going into those grocery stores free from any type of panic attack, and full of laughter and a "sense" of freedom!!!

I did "repeat" these things over and over, since "repetition" does work so well!!!

Before I realized it, I was getting out there and enjoying my life, once again!!!

Charlie, I think "positive imaginary" works well for any type of "negative feelings" we are having!!!

I think I would work on each feeling, one at a time, so I would not feel so overwhelmed!!!

Just a suggestion...It never hurts to try ;)

I pray you get a wonderful night's rest!!! May God richly bless you Charlie!!!

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:50 am

I know frustration and feeling down--they were my roommates in the 90s Big Grin. Unfortunately they haven't left yet. LOL.
At least, they haven't deserted you ;)

Charlie Brown
Posts: 442
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2006 2:56 pm

Post by Charlie Brown » Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:58 pm

Ms. T Bones, that is 18K GOLD INFO! Not 14K. It is PURE 18K.

It is EXCELLENT! EXCELLENT! EXCELLENT!

I was actually going to mention how when one bad/undesired/negative thing happens, it reinforces what I've always felt: "It's always gotta be the hard way with me. Never easy. This [bad/undesired/negative] thing that just happened just proves my point."

Thank you for your help and your time, T.
:)

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:06 pm

Aaaw Charlie, :) :) :)
I feel very honored, if I have helped you in any way!!! I hope you don't mind, but I did pray for you, while I was upon my knees today ;)

I know beyond the "shadow of a doubt" that God can open doors for you and no man can close them!!!

I pray you get some very much "needed" peaceful rest tonight!!! Much Love in Christ Jesus!!! Cloie

Charlie Brown
Posts: 442
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2006 2:56 pm

Post by Charlie Brown » Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:43 pm

Originally posted by Ms. T Bones:
Aaaw Charlie, :) :) :)
I feel very honored, if I have helped you in any way!!! I hope you don't mind, but I did pray for you, while I was upon my knees today ;)

I know beyond the "shadow of a doubt" that God can open doors for you and no man can close them!!!

I pray you get some very much "needed" peaceful rest tonight!!! Much Love in Christ Jesus!!! Cloie
Mind? Are you kidding? Keep 'em coming! LOL :D

It was very kind to even think of me during your prayer time. Thank you so much for your prayer.

Thank you also for well-wishes for peaceful and needed rest tonight.

:)

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:48 pm

Charlie, You are soooooo very welcome :) :) :)!!!

jillzmind
Posts: 557
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:52 am

Post by jillzmind » Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:36 pm

Cloie
thanks for that list. It's really full of good
practical and tangable things to do in our recovery of panic and or depression. Which is why we are all here right? :)
I think I am going to print those out so I can
refer back to them pretty easily.
Thanks again!
Jill~

jillzmind
Posts: 557
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:52 am

Post by jillzmind » Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:51 pm

Oh and another way I deal with disappointment
is by getting a white chocolate mocha latte and either a cinnamin roll or a scone or maybe a
donut. That's not always the most healthy way but sometimes it's comfort food.... ;)
J~

cream cheese
Posts: 104
Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 6:33 pm

Post by cream cheese » Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:50 pm

I used to love those Cinnabons at the malls....OMG...to die for.....SIN A bons what they should really call them...Farthest I ever went with coffee was Eithiopian Rainforest or something to that effect...no Lattes...if I spelled it right...I love pasta....give me noodles in any shape or size......YUMMMYYY But.....at times I fall off the Organic Wagon of food and just eat...But those times I limit.

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