Stress Center Peer Support

It´s so great that we an help each other just be saying: I understand, I have been through that, too!
In this case, the internet also is a blessing...

Dear Gods Baby Girl,

Christ is Risen! (Easter)

I pray all is well. I had bad OCD thoughts of violent thoughts ever since that same news article in October. It scared me. I started to have violent thoughts of hurting my wife or myself. I'm slowly learning how to live with OCD. I pray daily for God to let me learn to live with this without medicine in the future. I only have harmful thoughts of myself or my wife now...mostly myself. They suck. I hate them. They are totally the opposite of what I am and want. I just want to live life free from these thoughts. It is becoming easier to live with, it's been 8 months so far. 100's a day, but thank God I am becoming stronger. At times I still get scared of them to the point I begin to panic...at that point I quickly change environments...smoke a cigarette, change rooms, refocus quickly.

I hope this helps. I feel for you. May Christ bless you with the strength to see beyond your thoughts and learn to live with them...they'll slowly go away as they say. Mine are, but they are definetly still there.

See ya. God bless+ Phil

Check out my song called Keep Fighting. It's pertains to OCD and depression...we need to keep fighting.

Keep Fighting is about OCD and Depression
I've Tried is about Medicine and Depression

<A HREF="http://www.myspace.com/philnasr" TARGET=_blank>Myspace.com/philnasr</A>

I truly believe that all this crap can be beaten. I simply will not accept that we were meant to suffer our own minds while on this earth. Do the program, do it again, once more. Want relief so bad you can taste it and then go get it. I think the biggest problem ocd sufferers encounter is that we cannot recover much more than those without ocd. It's such a debilitating scenario when you think such terrible things that you know are not you. You just want to quit. But all of this can be turned full circle.

I understand completely too,
I am a young widowed mother of an eight year old and a six yearold, my husband died in December 2006 and I didn't allow myself to greive plus I went off my meds without my doctor's supervision. I am on effexor and I have obsessive thoughts of hurting my family and it brings me to tears because I love them all, They are all I got in my life now. I have started this program and very glad I did. I am reminded of something that someone once told me about handling a future problem "When we get to the river, God builds the bridge, God would take care of it...and don't make rivers that aren't there" That reminds me to keep things in perspective.. I Always have to to myself though and remember. I love the bible verse from Joshua 1:9, Be strong and courageeous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. and Cast your cares on Him, for he cares for you.
I hope that helps..it helps me and I have to tell myself over and over again.
-Sal

Hi Sallyjean11,

I am so sorry about your husband. My mom became widowed at 30 and had my sibling and I to raise on her own. She had a really tough time at first but she has been the best mom in the world and she is very stable. She always has to deal with the obsessive people around her! She is an amazingly strong person and so are you.

Good luck with everything. Talk again soon.

All of you are incredibly kind, loving and sensitive people. Remind yourself everyday of your positive assets - don't let the OCD convince you that you are evil, crazy, doomed or sick.

Others have mentioned it: face this beast head on. You have to want to fight this...taste it, breath it, eat it. You know how a coach sits down before the big game and riles up the team? "You can do this! Keep fightin'! Rely on your teammates!" The same holds true for us. We have to be the coach - and there's plenty of others in here that will assume the coach role if you're having a bad day.

One of the most important things is talking about your obsessive thoughts. Do not hold them in, this only creates more fear. Expose yourself to some of your fears, slowly and one at a time. For example, I have two cats (my babies) that I love so very much. They're my children (I'm also too scared to have kids because of my thoughts). A few months ago, the thoughts started to center around my cats - what if I hurt them? What if I kick them? What if I stab them? All the typical thoughts. So, as part of exposing myself to my fear, I pet them everyday. I love them and kiss them everyday, no matter what thought is running through my mind. While petting them, I breathe deeply and reassure myself that "these are only thoughts." If one of my kitties is in the kitchen with me, I will hold a knife in one hand and pet the cat with the other hand - the first few times, TOTAL PANIC! But I talked myself through it. "I am in control of myself. These are only thoughts, and no matter what my mind tells me, I will let the thoughts pass."

I do the same thing with my fiance. I will tell him what thoughts are bothering me. "Honey, my OCD thought for today is what if I punch you?" My fiance, the great guy that he is, says, "it's only a thought, but sometimes I could use a punch in the kisser." We make light of it, crack a joke. If a thought pops in, "what if I stab him", I hold a knife and tell him that I had a thought. He's used to this, so he justs nods his head and goes about his business. The point of holding the knife is to work myself through the fearful thoughts and reduce their hold over me.

Some days are just going to suck, quite frankly, and you won't have the energy to try to talk yourself down. You're tired, anxious, stressed, etc. It's ok - that's when you log on here and we reassure you. I just needed reassurance at 2:30 this morning, when I woke up with a full-blown panic attack.

I can't thank you all enough for your encouragement and kind words. We WILL beat this!! (this is my game face, not an angry face)

Hugs,
Lisa

The Imp of the Mind is a great book that deals specifically with us Pure O thinkers. A great book that I'd like all of you to read. The author is Lee Baer, Ph.D.

Originally posted by LisaGD:
Expose yourself to some of your fears, slowly and one at a time. For example, I have two cats (my babies) that I love so very much. They're my children (I'm also too scared to have kids because of my thoughts). A few months ago, the thoughts started to center around my cats - what if I hurt them? What if I kick them? What if I stab them? All the typical thoughts. So, as part of exposing myself to my fear, I pet them everyday. I love them and kiss them everyday, no matter what thought is running through my mind. While petting them, I breathe deeply and reassure myself that "these are only thoughts." If one of my kitties is in the kitchen with me, I will hold a knife in one hand and pet the cat with the other hand - the first few times, TOTAL PANIC! But I talked myself through it. "I am in control of myself. These are only thoughts, and no matter what my mind tells me, I will let the thoughts pass."

That is right on! The above is the key to defeating this debilitating cycle.

Originally posted by LisaGD:
I do the same thing with my fiance. I will tell him what thoughts are bothering me. "Honey, my OCD thought for today is what if I punch you?" My fiance, the great guy that he is, says, "it's only a thought, but sometimes I could use a punch in the kisser." We make light of it, crack a joke. If a thought pops in, "what if I stab him", I hold a knife and tell him that I had a thought. He's used to this, so he justs nods his head and goes about his business. The point of holding the knife is to work myself through the fearful thoughts and reduce their hold over me.

Again this is right on! but now why not take the next step and not tell him anything.. see if you can go at it alone.. Lucinda Basset Says: "You have to be the one that you run too." this also falls into the reassurance as you've stated below. Now that you have accomplished so much try and take the next step and see if you can handle not obtaining that reassurance. Trust me you can!

Originally posted by LisaGD:
Some days are just going to suck, quite frankly, and you won't have the energy to try to talk yourself down. You're tired, anxious, stressed, etc. It's ok - that's when you log on here and we reassure you. I just needed reassurance at 2:30 this morning, when I woke up with a full-blown panic attack.

This will eventually get better; only occasionally do I still experience these thoughts but when I do the anxiety is very easy to control and the thoughts are easily dismissed (its almost like an addict after years of being clean you will begin to experience the cravings for the drug less and less until eventually they are of little or no importance, if the thoughts/cravings even surface at all)... it can only get better from this point on!! I promise!

Thanks for the encouragement, BeatAnxiety! I will definitely try what you suggested when I'm feeling a bit stronger.

Hugs to you,
Lisa

This is to godsbabygirl,
Thank you for writing your post. I am a 27/F and I have the exact same thoughts as you. I wont tell anyone about them either b/c if I was to say it to my boyfriend or mom, I fear that they would think I was totally sick. I don't want to be around kids, I am scared that I will become a sick pedafile and I have really sick thoughts. It makes me feel anxious and crazy especially when I know this is not how I am. I don't want to have the thoughts but I constantly do and then do all I can to stop having them etc. I feel so much better that someone else feels like this. It is still bizarre that this would happen I don't know where this comes from but I guess our minds play tricks on us. Anyway, thank you for sharing your thought, I know it was tough!

Originally posted by LisaGD:
Thanks for the encouragement, BeatAnxiety! I will definitely try what you suggested when I'm feeling a bit stronger.

Hugs to you,
Lisa

welcome .. and best of Luck!