Stress Center Peer Support

Cool but don't fall into the trap that i'm saying you SHOULD do this. I'm saying it would probabbly benefit you more to look at it the way i suggested as opposed to looking at having to do everything at once.

Mike

Thanks for the advice. I use the same tactics for big assignments at work. But I actually meant I'd try not to talk about myself so much! I just thought it would be helpful to share my experiences as reference.

Ah my bad. It's alright to talk about yourself I don't mind.

Excellent! It all started when I was conceived... LOL! Actually, there's some truth to that. My brother has depression (possibly bipolar) and suffers with alcoholism and other addictions. I don't think my parents were meant to have kids...

So how about you? Are you learning anything new at CAMH? I'm still so impressed that you had the guts enough to go there on your own.

Right now I'm trying to deal with a new medication my doctor prescribed. It's actually an anti-psychotic but it is sometimes used "off-brand" for anxiety disorders. On the good side, it lets me fall asleep easier and stay asleep all night, which has been a big problem for me. However, it's really making me dizzy, enough to where I'm more anxious because of the side effects.

I don't think I tolerate it very well (I'm still on a very small dosage) and I think I'll have to stop taking it. This is typical for me. I usually don't react well to medications for my anxiety. There have been only a few meds I can tolerate and they only work to reduce my symptoms a bit.

Have you found any meds that work well for you?

Well, I'm off to listen to the audio session for week two...again. It's hard for me to keep listening to the material over and over. I know it's good for me in that it reinforces the material, but I tend to get bored after the first time and find myself doing other things while listening.

Anyway, I hope you're having a great day.

Keep in touch,
Jamie

I am learning just about CBT on my own and through observations. I haven't gotten therapy yet which i see if this happens tomorrow when they assess me. I'm still amazed that i came here.

I just got put on an anti-psychotic as well call resperadone which i'm not really liking so well. I was put on it because of my feelings of "unreality". I'm also on Wellbutrin. The resperadone makes me want to sleep more but the wellbutrin makes me wake up during the middle of the night so it is kinda hell. I'm actually having to be sneaky and not swallow the Wellbutrin..at least not the 2nd dose of the day. The psychiatrist disregards what i say and says that since i get 8 hours sleep, I SHOULD be alright. Sometimes i just want to slap him upside the head! I get the extra dizziness when i wake up in the morning and I hear ya, it drives me nuts!

What is it you are expecting the meds to do?

The wellbutrin helps a bit with the depression as long as i only take it once a day but no i haven't found an anti-anxiety med and I am getting sick of these meds and i'm not interested in trying out new ones. I'm gunna stick with my CBT, I've just learned some more effective techniques to use for the thought replacement.

It's alright to get bored when listening, I do this too. Why not set a specific time limit while listening, say 15 minutes and then stop when you reach it or just listen to the first portion of the audio session.


Mike Aka Ninjafrodo

I'm surprised to hear that you haven't gotten any therapy yet. Why are they having you wait so long and what are supposed to be doing in the interim?

One of my prior doctors prescribed risperidone for me, again to be used off-brand. As I recall, he prescribed it to reduce obsessive thoughts for my OCD. I didn't tolerate the drug at all and had to stop taking it within a few days of starting. As I mentioned my prior message, I seem to be very sensitive to medications. I hope it works better for you. Surprisingly, given the vast quantities of medications I've been prescribed, I've never tried Wellbutrin so I really don't know much about it. Skipping meds? Tsk, tsk! I would never do that...

I'm really sorry about how your meds are affecting your sleep. That's torture! I have similar problems where I'm so fatigued during the day but can't sleep at night. I deperately want to nap during the day, but if I do I pay the price by not being able to fall asleep when I'm supposed to.

So the psychiatrist listens but doesn't hear? LOL. I wouldn't recommend the slap upside the head lest they label you as "violent and unstable"! My current doctor is great and has helped me a lot, but there are time when she talks in metaphors within metaphors and I end up just staring at her not knowing what the heck she was trying to say. Although, I've found if I can just wait long enough looking like I'm in deep contemplation, she'll start up again and I won't have to decrypt her message...

What do I want the meds to do? That's a good question. I suppose my first priority is to get my anxiety down to a level where I feel I handle it with the CBT tools I've got. Right now, my general anxiety level is so high all the time that it barely takes anything to send me into a panic. After anxiety, I would say moderate depression would be the next beast to I'd like to tackle. Lastly would be OCD, but I would think that the obsessive thoughts and behaviors would probably be mitigated with the meds for the other two conditions.

In truth, I'd like to not be on any medications and be able to handle things entirely on my own. I know it's possible, but I'm not there yet. I'm completely on the same page as you about not trying any more medications. I can't even remember all the different things I've tried and have had so little success finding anything that I can tolerate, helps, or both. I think you're on the right track focusing on your CBT work. Hopefully I won't be far behind!

Yeah, listening to the CD's repeatedly is tedious. I wonder what would happen if I listened to the program CD's while I slept? That is, if I slept!

Before I go, I have a more personal question for you. I'm in Week 2 of the program and there is a suggested action item of writing a "biography" of my experience with anxiety and depression. I think I might try it, but it would be a shame if nobody read it. I could give it to my partner or another family member, but they've already heard my story - more than once. If I posted it to a PM, would you read it? There's no pressure here. I realize you've got more that your share to deal with right now and I won't be offended at all if you're not interested or able.

Later,
Jamie (the SeaRunner)

BTW, I'm surprised no one has commented on my pic. You usually don't see that many runners wearing sneakers and running shorts on the bottom with a suit coat, shirt, and tie on the top! The picture is from a fun-run I did with some coworkers called the Fremont Briefcase Relay. It was a 5-km relay race where each member of the team had to run a 1-km leg of the race while carrying a breifcase with a copy of the Yellow Pages phone book inside. Business dress was highly encouraged. It was a blast, but man, that phone book was heavy after a short distance of sprinting!

SeaRunner,

I often chuckle when I see that pic. It's so funny! And the more posts that get added to the page, the shorter and squatter you get! LOL!

NinjaFrodo & SeaRunner,

I've been following the conversation and thought I'd share some things from my experience that may help you. (That's my hope anyhow!)

Ideally, a parent's job is not only to provide food, shelter, etc., but also to provide a mirror for the child to help him understand himself and the world around him. But since no one is perfect, and many people have children while they are still children themselves (emotionally) there are some key concepts that don't get taught. So as I've gone through the program myself, I've looked at alot of the concepts of CBT as a means to parent myself. I've found that I wasn't taught how to deal with emotions that are overwhelming. I was taught to over-react and that emotions were THE guide to making life's important decisions. But mostly I was left to figure it out myself.

Why? is a question I ask alot. I like to know what the root of the issue is so I can deal with it. Understanding often helps me with the healing process. But in asking why? I often unearth issues that I'd rather not deal with. As my own parent, I can guide myself through the issues without over-reacting and without fanning the flames of fear. I can soothe myself and give myself the time and space I need to handle things. I am learning to trust my instincts and give myself praise for even minor accomplishments.

In reading this thread I feel for both of you and for the difficulty of your current situations. I wish you both the best as you teach yourselves how to overcome the panic, anxiety and depression. My hope is that you'll become good parents to your inner child who simply missed a few concepts along the way. I hope you'll maintain you sense of humor and your hunger for the truth. You both have come so far.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks, NN. Your comments and encouragement are much appreciated. I never have thought of CBT in those terms. I'll have to consider how I might implement your thoughts into my recovery.

This site where i'm at now is more to keep people safe while meds kick in.

Ya it probabbly wouldn't be to my advantage to slap him upside the head but he was really nice today so the urge is gone I also don't have to deal with him anymore but he did actually listen and came up with a reasonable solution. I kinda feel bad for thinking negative about him.

I'm not sure listening to them while sleeping is going to be helpful at all. They are more targeted to the conscious mind and not the subconscious. Maybe you could benefit from writing out the advantages and disadvantages of both not listening to them and listening to them.

You can PM me but i do not guarantee that i'll get back to you right away.

Mike Aka Ninjafrodo