Stress Center Peer Support

My Giants won in OT!

did you hear my family hootin' and hollerin'? that comeback was awesome--though, i was tryin' to sleep--i got up to see the replay

Charlie, ya gotta get the program. or a cassette player--i get it if expense is an issue. in that case, i recommend focusing on how you can save for it. sales are offered on occasion. and i believe they offer a payment plan. it's worth "a million bucks". . . .

or i guess you can watch the game again

Originally posted by MC Grace:

My Giants won in OT!

did you hear my family hootin' and hollerin'? that comeback was awesome--though, i was tryin' to sleep--i got up to see the replay

Charlie, ya gotta get the program. or a cassette player--i get it if expense is an issue. in that case, i recommend focusing on how you can save for it. sales are offered on occasion. and i believe they offer a payment plan. it's worth "a million bucks". . . .

or i guess you can watch the game again

A quick note:

Been managing good with depression and recovery.

Upset now but not depressed: I just discovered miscommunication with my wife for Christmas plans.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.

Christmas Eve and Day were wonderful. Even though the Dec 23 tight night was partially my wife's fault, I still felt a little guilty and a brief worry spell she would leave me for it. Awfulizing? Nahh.

I was happy about today because I had the energy and desire to work on my online project. (I had today off as a delightful holiday 4 day weekend.)

I have also made some realizations in the past couple of days. I feel like I am getting a colon detox for my mind . I project my feelings of worry, dread, etc on others and many times they do not share the same sentiment. Very often my vibe is negative and theirs is either neutral or positive. An example is see my supervisor unhappy and thinking it is due to me...only to find out later it was something else. This also brought back memories when I was in my 20s I would worry if I looked at/flirted with a girl, should think of me a rapist. Can we all say "low self-esteem?"

I also realize if I sense an event, someone, etc that may be cause of depression, I try to avoid them. Avoidance is a big "weapon" for me. When I feel insulted, depressed, upset, etc. I image avoiding people. My greatest image is living on a desert island. That night of the 23, when I was upset with my wife and at myself for the miscommunication and this occurring on the start of the year's most celebrated holiday--I was mentally on my desert island, relishing in being away from people and sources for displeasure and depression.

This is actually a victory over depression I earned today.

At work, my supervisor pointed out an error I did over a month ago. It was a error just learned of involving an incorrect payment. He was basically good about it.

My initial reaction was I was ok, emotionally. Then the negative thinking/awfulizing/worrying started. I began to feel the starting of depression. Since my depression seems to come from negative thinking like this, I mentally refuted the negativity. Within 20-30 minutes I was feeling good and no depression.
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Wishing everyone a better 2009!!!

Just an update:

I have decided to go to a therapist for the depression, which thanfully is mild.

I left a voicemail for one place and am looking for others (just in case the first choice falls through.)