Stress Center Peer Support

I had a pretty good week.
Today I had some negitive thoughts creep in. Remember that wedding I wrote about, the big phone thing with my sis-in law? I got my cancelled checks back today, and my wedding gift was cashed. I was feeling bad as I never got a thank you. That old lesson about expectations I had to replay! I talk to a friend of mine and she says some people don't even send thank-yous any more. I guess I was raised with such a thankful family, it stuck to me. For some reason I keep a mental note on such stuff.
It would not bother as much if I didn't have that bad conversation several weeks before with her mom. Maybe???
Oh well I caught it early and even though I have not given up, I still might get one, I'm in the process of letting it go in case I don't. I get stuck on why it bothers me so????
I read you love script and its very good. You have a gift for writing!
I have had a busy week and have not had much computer time. Maybe next week will be lighter.
Have a good weekend, Mike.

OMG!!! What a funny link you posted. ( More funny is when I posted this it went to page 11! do I get a prize or something too???)

Originally posted by SeaRunner:
Holy cow! I my last post just bumped the thread to Page 17! Do I get an award or parting gift or something? To celebrate, I've added some new ideas but they can never match the brilliance of my first post, this being a sequel and all...

1) Cover the gas gauge in you car with some electrical tape so you can't see it. That way it will always be a mystery as to where your trip will end (and no cheating by using the odometer).

2) Change your outgoing voice-mail message to "I'm sorry, I'm panicking and not available right now. If you want to reach me immediately, please call 911 and ask for me."

3) When flying, take a voice recorder and dictate your last will and testament in the event "you don't make it." Ask the people next to you if they want to add anything.

Funny stuff!!!

Everyone who posted was a fun read. Thanks for putting the link up. Good stuff!

Yes i remember the wedding thing with how you were on the phone and your sister in law was being really rude to you and your husband because you said you didn't want to go to the wedding.

One good thing i got from my family was my manners so i know where you are coming from. Some people don't say thank you anymore and instead they just expect things as if life is obligated to give it to them. This actually affects that person more then it would affect you. When you don't show appreciation then people do less and less for you. Not to mention when they expect something instead of feel greatful for it, they do not enjoy what they get when they do get it. Its quite sad actually.

Well I myself also get stuck on things such as that so i can definately relate. Its really frustrating and I know that it can easily become obsessive. I just got a text message on wednesday from that guy who was ignoring me and inviting all my friends to an event but not me and then continuing to do that. I deleted him from facebook, my phone and pretty much my life and then he messages me and asks for an explaination as to why i'm not friends with him on facebook anymore. I did explain how i felt about his behaviors and how hurt I was, he was very quick to excuses his behaviors without even acknowledging how i felt and quick to blame me for how I felt saying i'm just taking things too personally and well my phone died mid conversation and it turned obsessive and i was very angry that he was so inconsiderate to me.

Well after a day I just did not want to obsess anymore so I text messaged him again saying "you are a good guy evan but your behavior does not work for me. I may be wrong with my expectations but you didn't even acknowledge how i felt, you were very quick to blame and you are quick to make excuses and don't even consider that you may be wrong. I'm not willing to put up with that. This friendship doesn't work for me right now and this is not up for discussion so don't bother calling me about it. I wish you the best and hope you have a good birthday"

To which he basically told me i was being too dramatic about it. and i didn't care, I told him that this obviously bothers him and thats fine, I like myself, I like how I behave and how I talk and I know not everybody will be accepting of that.


Mike

PS yes that thread in the humorus section is awesome. It was created about 3-4 years ago!

Sure i could give you...an ONION!


Mike

Oh boy!!! The first real prize I won, except the gold fish at the fair! LOL...

Boy thank you on your relpy, That was a really good perspective I never really thought about!

One good thing i got from my family was my manners so i know where you are coming from. Some people don't say thank you anymore and instead they just expect things as if life is obligated to give it to them. This actually affects that person more then it would affect you. When you don't show appreciation then people do less and less for you. Not to mention when they expect something instead of feel greatful for it, they do not enjoy what they get when they do get it. Its quite sad actually.

I think your right, And it is sad...

You did have a sititutaion very much like me, and I think you did good at letting him know you were not happy about it.
When friends do things that seam very delibrite I have to question are they my friend?
It seams like he is driving a wedge inbetween you and your other friends. If they choose to follow him I would say go. Be on your way.
Go your own way, you will meet better friends along your way. Who knows maybe they will turn and come your way as well.
You did well with the well wishes too. Sounds like you got what you wanted to say out, you were assertive and kind to your self!!!

Its hard with all these expectations. It was a good practice op. for you and it had to feel good in a certian way.

I had another practice session today too. My mom who is a diabetic had a sugar drop to the point she passed out. She is in her late 70's and had to take the anbulance to the er. Alls well with her, she is home. It was a good test for me as both her & my sister feed off each others anxiety. I'm so glad I have done this program, and read on these forums because I coud see things unfolding before my eyes.
I am very proud of myself, I didn't what if, I stayed in the moment, I under reacted. I had in my mind from the humor section, when in panic run in circles, scream and shout, for some reason, and it stuck in my mind & helped me?! ( How weird is that???? LOL... ) You might laugh at this one, and I should put it under the humor section, but on the way out the door, I grabbed the whole pack of MW cards! Thought I'd be ready! LOL... What a nut I am.
My mom was so uncoperative when she started feeling better, then turning before my eyes to apoligizeing for everything, and how stupid she felt for not carrying sugar ect... I know what I have been doing to myself all these years. It was like looking into a mirror for a brief moment. I am changing, I like myself so much better, I will be able to deal with her and my sister so much better now that I reconize what happening.

It was a very good day

Well life will continue to give anybody (like the ones who don't appreciate things), the chance to see this and the chance to overcome it. Many many many many opportunities. Or at least this is what i tell myself to keep sane and your always very welcome!

Yes i felt pretty good for how i responded. I did not blame, I did not make excuses or name call. I got a negative response but i accepted it and am moving on. My friends aren't likely to choose anybody and they have all said that he is not someone they would have a deep friendship with like me. They don't put alot of trust in him as well based on the behavior he has displayed. I figured that would be the end of it but he is still being childish. He decided to comment on one of my friend's statuses which he never does. I believe he is hurting and is trying to upset me. This kind of person seems to base his worth on how many friends he has and how they view him as he is constantly lying about his personality and behavior. I phoned that friend whom he posted his comment and warned her that he may try to use her. Likely he will start to invite her to many things (he has basically ignored her since Canada day) in order to anger me because I had told him that it really hurt me when he had invited my friends and not me to events.

You feel that he is trying to drive a wedge in between my friends and me too eh? Thank you, i'm not the only one. I actually feel sad for him, having to pretend so much and not really having deep friendships because he is not even willing to look at his weaknesses, problems or anything. It's already starting to affect him as less people are coming to his parties or even calling him.

Wow that is definately a practice opportunity. That is no ordinary anxiety that a sufferer would deal with. That is an anxiety that a non-sufferer would have! I'm glad things turned out for the better with your mother.

Wow no what ifing and under reacting that is amazing, congratulations! Thats funny that the humor stuff helped. The obsessive thought lesson says to use humor to overcome those thoughts. I guess you followed that without really realizing it.

Lol a happy nut! Well that sounds like you have made alot of changes. Just how diffrent are you now from when you started back in april?


Mike

by the way its also really funny but. People who complain or judge someone else are usually complaining or judging the same things within themselves that they don't like. It's a projection actually.

For instance they could judge someone saying that they are really ugly and even if the person who is judging isn't ugly they may think they are and do that. People who act as know-it-alls do this alot as well. They complain that others are know-it-alls as well. I believe the person in my situation is doing that too. I've already been warned that he likes to cause drama.

So I'm learning how to just laugh at how these people are behaving.


Mike

I'm realizing that i've been really lacking on the 6 steps. Facing limitations I use them and they help to calm me down but I forget about them or tell myself they won't work with the generalized anxiety. I'm going to give them another chance!


Mike

This is me now starting the program again for the 203832984 time! I think i can recover this time!


Mike

I think your right when you say life gives chances to overcome things. We just have to be open and want to see. I'm feeling better about the no thank you, at least I'm not dwelling on it. People will be disapointing at times, and I guess I have to give freely and not expect someone to treat me as I want to be treated. If it happens all the better, I know we have a connection.
You did very well staying in the moment, believing in your feelings, not getting angrey, excepting that you had valid feelings worth sticking up for. I'd say great job!

One thing I have found is people who act like this, will run out of friends, but they will find another bunch. I know people who have used people for so long they them selves don't even know them selves or why they are lonely old people. And that is sad. We can only pray that they will change, they are missing so many good things life has to offer.

Oh me too, with my mom. I really did deal so different. I can't really explain it. It was like I grew up! I loved the whole thing esp. her coming home with in hours. I can only hope that I can make it a habit!!!
That must be what a non anxiety must feel like, cuz I can't think of much I would of done different. I must also say I think there are more people suffering with anxiety than I ever thought. You hear it in so many people when they talk to you. We just take it to higher levels and make our selves sick. I get that.
I did that with humor, like you say not even realizing what I was doing. It is an important part to remember.

I am so much more in control of myself sense starting the program. My thoughts, how I react, I think I'm more positive to my self, and i'm not so scared. My body has calmed down too. Its all good.

I love your starting the program for the gillizion time!!! LOL... Thats all right I will probably be doing the same! We can laugh together...HaHaHa...What ever it takes.

Oh the 6 steps...My carry card looks like a 3 year old kept it. I think its great for general anxiety esp. for worry & anger. What limitations do you feel you have?