Stress Center Peer Support

I too grew up with an abusive mom. She died about five years ago. For me it wasn't until recently that I started to question some of her opinions or points of view (I'm over 40), and I realized she was really wrong about a lot of things.

This might be a big step, but what I did to forgive her and start moving on is that I wrote a letter listing everything that I could think of that she did that was hurtful. Then when I was ready I wrote a letter that thanked her for the good qualities that I got from her. Obviously I didn't show her these letters. They were for my use only. I took lots of time to write the second letter, but it helped me to see that a lot of the qualities I like about myself are also the same qualities she had except I'm much healthier mentally that she ever was.

I guess the biggest thing I've learned over my life is to live my own truth, and not to worry about anybody else.

Don, I wish I would have read your post back in June. A couple of weeks ago, Session 4 led me to the same conclusions about my mother. Could have saved me a month.

Hi Kaylynn
Boy, your are not the only one with this problem. For most people, they can't even imagine a mother treating one of her children so bad. I wish I had seen your post also, because I felt sooooo alone and sad. If you read my post called "Hateful Mom" under the general anxiety section, you'll see that I have basically had the same type of mom. Out of 5 kids, sometimes I wonder if she ever deeply loved me, but of course, my sister has brainwashed her so badly against me, I don't think we could ever heal. Suzzie

My Mom died when I was 2 and my brothers were 1 and just born..We grew up with differnt relatives.When I was 13 I went to live with my Dad.He was always telling me I should be ashamed of myself or saying what is wrong with you.I use to sit and try to figure out what was wrong with me.Well now I know nothing was but I still have issues over how I was raised.It's hard.