Stress Center Peer Support

worrywoman,

I had the exact same thing you do, though mine had some extra components that I won't bother telling you about. If you are anything like me, hearing what I did will make you worry that you will do it and then, of course, you will.

First off, let me assure you 100% that God loves you and he knows you love him. He knows that these thoughts are not something you mean but are something you're having a hard time controlling. For me, it got to the point that I couldn't pay attention in class or ever enjoy anything because the blasphemous thoughts were always running through my mind.

I was finally able to get them to decrease, though the thoughts have not gone away completely, even now, 4 years later. What I did was tell myself that since God knows and I know that these thoughts are not true and not actually my faul, it DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY GO THROUGH MY MIND. The only way to make them go away is to no longer care if they come.

So, how can you go from loving God so much and really not wanting to think like that to not caring if you do? Realize that you still love God, but that these thoughts are just OCD, or obsessive thoughts. They aren't hurting God and they aren't counting against you. If they come to mind, oh well. It's no big deal (even though it may feel like a big deal now.)

It'll take a little time to get used to not caring, and it'll take time to learn to not respond in that panicky way. Having these thoughts is probably very draining for you, both emotionally and spiritually. Heck, it even drained me physically. But THEY DON'T MATTER. And you're not lying to yourself when you say it - they really do not matter.

Oh, and try not to worry about asking for forgiveness every time one of these thoughts pops in your mind. At the beginning or end of the day, you can do one big "I'm sorry for those crazy thoughts, God" if you like. Also, it was very helpful for me to tell lots of people about my problem (not in graphic detail, but you get the idea.) Once I saw that they weren't affected by it that much, it became easier to live with. And now I even laugh about it!

You can too! Good luck and I prayed for you. God loves you no matter what and where ever you are in your walk with him.

~gwoman

Thanks everyone for your responses, it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. Gwoman, you're right about telling others about these thoughts and they're reactions to them. They are not even bothered by them, and even laugh. I need to react in a similar fashion in order to diminish the panic when hearing them. You are all blessings from God in responding, thanks and I will pary for you too!

Dear Worrywomen, I also believe that it is the devil that is causing these problems. I also know that he brings his biggest attacks against you when you are about to have a great break through. I myself am going through awful thoughts right now. Sometimes I feel like I have greatly failed God. Even though I have great turmoil in my life (or as I think it is) I still have to listen to that one small voice that always is the Holy Spirit that tells me that He (God) will not leave me or forsake me. I hold on to that and I believe that.

Kristin: Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am having kind of a tough time with things and your insights have helped

here's an example of the devil and me..sometimes when your fighting to get your life back together he'll throw things that upset you in your face even off the television. I PROMISE YOU...i was terrfied i was going to wake up sick today for a few different reasons...and i woke up fine but last night i saw two shows in a row that mentioned nausea and vomiting and even today when i was feeling ok i put on the same show..SEINFELD...and they mentioned vomiting again. First thing my husband said "thats the devil trying to bug you" and believe me...i believe it because i really dont consider that stuff coincidence anymore.

Worrywoman, I've had these exact same thoughts and troubles, first it was from other thoughts that were bothersome and then they'd go to thoughts against God, it's just the whole anxiety/ ocd disorder problems, religious ocd I believe is called scrupulous, I haven't exactly looked it up yet. I don't know who it was but about a week or two ago, someone either posted or reply to a post and I wrote it down because it helped me out a lot and it was, "We love God so much that our minds target that one area it knows will frighten us. Lets not allow it. Just go with it, eventually it will fade. Laugh at it." And read John ch. 5 verse 24. God bless you and everyone here having problems with this, I'll keep you in my prayers.

To everyone who posted on this particular site - I've dealt with scrupulosity since I was 10 years ago. The OCD attacked my faith because it's so important to me. However, it does take hard work not to give these thoughts any energy. The evil one uses thoughts, sicknesses, anything in this world to get us down. It doesn't mean we're controlled by this evil, just our fleshly bodies and brains are being attacked. Someone else is losing their sight and has to wear eyeglasses, someone else needs to take insulin for diabetes, a cast for a broken arm, someone loses his/her job. We are creative, intelligent, humans created and designed by God for a purpose. One of the purposes is to comfort others through the things we've been comforted with. How can a teacher teach without knowing the subject? Therefore, we go through trials, we're attacked, but we persevere because of God. Even though we don't feel like He is there - He is and carries us to victory so we can help each other out. Thankfully we are not all going through terrible times at the same time. God is faithful to bring people into your lives to encourage and others for you to encourage. We all have strengths and weaknesses. believe me, I've ask Christ to save my soul, clean my mind thousands of times. His faithfulness is not dependent upon our feeble minds, our feelings. He loves you all, all we can do is take one breath at a time, one day at time, look for the positive and reprogram our stinkin' thinkin'. It's not easy - but we can do it.

Love and hugs to you all.

Wow...I thought i was the only one who had these ridiculous bizarre thoughts that were hateful about God, which are far from who I am but cause fight reactions within me to stand up to them, cast them out, etc. I can only say through all this I started to doubt whether I was a good person or not, but ALWAYS God was there, even from a simple thought of Him or prayer and boom, I felt His love and presence, and reassurance that my thoughts do not matter to Him one iota. So, given that and new reassurance that I am not alone, I was once told to see these thoughts like clouds passing through my mind much like those fluffy clouds in the sky, to just let them pass through with no judgement or attachment. Thanks for all your encouragements! Peace...

For those who suffer agonizing thoughts of blaspheming the Holy Ghost I want to say I can understand what your going through I am now going through this myself. At first it was very scary it seemed I sat on the edge of my seat waiting to die lost. I know this thought comes from a spirit of fear. The bible says in Psalms 92 I believe, that; "God knows the thoughts of men are futile" when I read this scripture I knew it was from the Lord, to bring comfort. God would not hinge so great a salvation on what goes on in your mind, if he did, the devil would take us out one by one. This tactic is a trick of the devil to thwart you from being established in your relationship with God. Remember when the Islealites were entering the promised land they had a HUGE BATTLE with fear, if you look closely at the story they lost this first battle in the mind, but the promise was still available. so fear not; God will never leave you nor forsake you.

Soparano,
You are so right about the devil putting those thoughts into our heads! I think he attacks the people who God wants to bless most! I definetly think anxiety disorders are only partly a matter of health as well as a Spiritual battle. We can't give up and even as I write this I am fighting my own battles with ocd and know it is not a coincidence that I am responding to this email! Thank you and God bless
Joy