Stress Center Peer Support

Hi Loretta,

You will have good days and you will have bad days UNTIL you stop giving energy to the thoughts. It is your reaction. When you no longer care one way or the other if you have these thoughts (acceptance), you will dismiss them without any emotional attachment to them. They will come back less and less. Try to see this, Loretta. Just see it for now. Practice allowing the thoughts to come and go. Breathe into the discomfort you feel with them. Those feelings won't hurt you. If you didn't fear the feelings (resistance) they would cease to exist or at least be minimal in your life.

Practice allowing the thoughts and feelings to come and go. Stay with this for as long as it takes. Do not talk back to these thoughts. Never. Don't argue with them. Don't haggle with them. Don't try to make things better.

Another approach is to shout STOP in your head or out loud. Then cortical shift. Bring your attention to things you are doing in the present moment. Don't talk back to these thoughts anymore.

This is a habit you can break.

DGriffith and Boon

Thank you so much for your advise. I will try and do what you tell me. I have been trying. Its just everytime I see the person who I have the thoughts about I get so so upset, because I love this person more then life itself.

Loretta - Do not avoid this person (if that is what you do). Be with this person as often as possible. Make it a point to be with this person daily, if possible. Breathe into those feelings. Do not talk to that scare voice anymore. Shout STOP each and everytime, and then focus on what you are doing in the present moment.

You can heal from this.

Thank you so much for listening I appreciate it. I am going to try and do what you and the tape is telling me. I have to stop getting so upset when I think of any upsetting thought and I have to stop saying why am I having this thought, how can I have this thought etc.and tell myself it is only a thought it is just a side effect of anxiety "I know I won't do it". and stop getting so upset

It may help you to know that those awful, horrible, deplorable thoughts that we get about those we love are just a neurobiological quirk. We are born with this tendency. That is all. There is no need to give these thoughts energy. We will not act on them. They are bogus.

I just want to Thank everyone for all their help. Please keep the advise coming. I really appreciate it. Anything that has helped someone else, that you think may help me I will gladly accept.
God Bless