Stress Center Peer Support

Yes, you will blossom. Now I'm no shrink (though I like to pretend, ha ha), but there can be such a condition as ISS, Identity Suppression Syndrome. Others are so powerful and so assertive that children, for example, are overpowered, boundaries are violated and only a carbon copy (or nothing) can develop properly. Awareness of such realities can, in my view, be very helpful. We can learn to trust ourself, to feel confident, become genuine and autonomous and still get along with those around us.

And we can do much better with our own children. My son likes to joke with me when I go on about his and his sister's childhood. He'll say, "I know, mom, you were hands off." Yes, I trusted them and loved them as individuals.

I've never heard of that ISS, but I might want to look into it while or after this program. That sounds like something I may have to deal with also. I don't know how many times I have felt as though I "don't know who I am" I don't know what I am feeling half the time (although I am learning) I don't really know what interests me, aside from the two things I've always loved kids and crafts or making things. I'm glad you mentioned that. I had a very powerful/demanding sister whom I adored and wanted to be just like!! She is the one when I had issues and tried to resolve I would be told I don't know what I'm talking about.... I should feel that way etc... I use to blame her, until my first attempt at this program. One of the woman mentioned her father and said something about I dont' think he comes down everymorning thinking "how can I mess up "name" today. What can I do to make her life worse today etc... and I thought about my sister and said wow she was just a little girl also (4 years older) she didn't know any better.... she didn't wake up everymorning with the intent of hurting me each day.... so I've been able to work on it a little.... anyway...

That's cute "hands off mom"

The idea of no self came out of nowhere to me while I was on another site (some years ago) that later closed. The site belonged to Dr. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist. Read all his books. He now has a book out about Casey Anthony and in there is the first I've heard of an ISS diagnoses (Identity Suppression Syndrome), though I had sensed it about myself and esp. about my older brother.

Not sure how many people can buy into Ablow's analysis of that case, but I definitely can. As he sees it the mother was the crushing force in Casey Anthony's life. Perhaps in your case it was your sister. Just thought I'd share this.

I'll have to check him out someday. That is interesting. I could see something like that being the case with Casey Anthony. I appreciate your insight, very interesting!!

No rush for you, to be sure. I felt as if I was in a dark tunnel for years, barely reading the headlines and big things were happening then too. Like you, my children came first. I have no regrets and neither will you.

I am wondering if there was any resolution here. I experience this terribly. I would like control of it, or for it to just go away. I experience this very thing. It (watery eyes) prevents me for me pressing joy, pride, enthusiasm, encouragement, thankfulness,etc. This condition has put my life on permanent hold.