Stress Center Peer Support

Why do you keep stopping?

i either get so busy with work or i just focus on my anxiety and am in my own little world and forget about doing anything. i want to be more dedicated to the program and to myself. i guess when i get a thought it is tough to shake and i just either do not want to write it down or i feel like i am the only one thinking or feeling this way then i put the whole program to the side which i know is the wrong thing to do. talking about it like this gets me back on track again and reminds me that i am not alone. thanks.

I understand. I wonder if we do it subconsiously because we don't think it will really work for us and we don't want to be dissapointed. Why don't we work on the program together? I think it would be fun.

By the way, I don't write down my negative thoughts when I have them. That seems to complicated to me. When I had some time one day, I just made a list of all the negative thoughts that I tell myself consistently. It took a while to get back to it, but when I had some time a few weeks later, I went back through the notebook and wrote some simple replacement thoughts. So now when I have time, I read over the list and it's getting easier to notice when I have those thoughts and I don't have to think up a replacement. I remember what I wrote so it pops into my head.

Also I don't know if this will help you but I've taken ALL the pressure off myself to do this in some sort of time frame. I just don't care. Of course I want (badly) to be free of this junk but it never made sense that in 15 weeks, I would be healed. I've been dealing with it for 16 years now, I get that it is going to take some time. I would rather go over and over and over it until it's second nature to me and I have lasting change. That's my goal and I don't care if it takes a little longer to reach it.

Where are you in the program?

Wow, Karmatism, I like your ideas. I don't write down my negative thoughts when I have them either. I'm just starting to figure out that they are negative thoughts, so I'm actually recognizing them. I like the idea of writing them down later and work them out and how you have a list of them with the replacement carried w/you. I think I got that right?

I also when asked what I wanted for Christmas a few weeks back, I hesitantly said I would like to have an IPOD. I have always felt I didn't need one, but now feel that maybe this would be a good thing for me to have. I still feel that I wouldn't use it enough to even ask for this as a present for me.

But it all fits in with working this program. I can use at the health club, walking around the neighborhood, around the house when I do chores or while resting in my room. I usually don't like having to wear ear phones if I don't need to, but working the program is a necessity if I've going to overcome my anxiety.

that is a good way to look at our problems, it didnt take 15 weeks to get this way so this will take practice and patience. hey we have as long as we need. i would like to work on the program together. as for where i am on the program, i am starting over because i always like to refresh my memory which is not the greatest to begin with. where are you in the program now? i found it very helpful to write down the neg thought right away and counter it with a positive so it actually diffused the scary, neg thought. you say you want to go over it again and again and i think that is a great idea because they say we are addicted to the neg stuff why not be addicted to the pos stuff. i cant wait for that to happen. i know it will. what is your primary problem?

That's great that you can come up with a postive on the fly like that. I struggle to think of something, it takes me a little time. Maybe you can help me with that.

I'm on lesson 4, but I will start over with you. Do you have all the materials and everything? You seem to respond at night and I respond in the morning, so maybe we can pick a day, like Friday to listen to the CD and then discuss it afterward? Then we can decide how to move forward from there. Maybe CD 2 is a good place to start because I remember CD 1 just talking about the symptoms of depression/anxiety and kind of just letting us know we aren't alone. Let me know what you think.

I bought the program for social anxiety, but I'm finding out I have generalized anxiety too. I think I also have some anger issues. I feel majorly stressed out and angry a lot of the time. It always feels like my life is so hard. I feel like I'm making progress in these areas more than the social stuff. They really haven't addressed that yet and I'm so bummed. I'm just keeping hope that anxiety is anxiety and if I get it under control, everything will improve.

My main problem is that I can't seem to come up with any positive thoughts for my negative statements. For ex: "Everyone can tell I'm nervous." What am I supposed to say to that? no they can't? But they can! I can tell that they can tell because I watch how they interact with other people and then I see their reactions to me. They can sense my nervousness and it makes me more nervous because then I think they are wondering what is wrong with me and I just want to leave. Then I beat myself for not being able to relax and just talk with someone. I really miss having friendships because this gets in the way so bad.

I've gone through all CDs and I keep listening to them. DR David Burns Feeling Good Mood Therapy book is really helpful with negative thoughts.

I don't have Lucinda's workbook, my sister kept that for herself. I'm just grateful she sent me her CDs.

I guess Karmatism, to counter that negative thought, is to make the thought of them knowing you are nervous is to make the "people" smaller in your mind's eye. Picture their brains are tiny like mice, and most people don't care what mice think. You could be magnifying their thoughts in your own mind. Maybe this will help.

hey k. sorry it took so long to get back but i kept looking at page one of support and meanwhile i didnt realize it started a page two. i would like to start it together. we sound like we have similiar anxiety. i used to alot of social anxiety because i thought if someone knew what i had they would thing i was a freak. i now know there are soooo many people with this. my only prob is when i do have some anxiety i start to lose it and think thats it i am losing. i feel like i am going to do something crazy. i know that is not going to happen. well we will talk more about our probs as we go through the program and face our issues together. and by the way i used to get that way alot when you talk about worrying about people seeing you anxious. we will get you through that issue. i promise. i am going to start cd2 today so i will post something tonight. take care.

Hey Bob,

Wow. I'm so excited we are doing this together. It motivates me to know that I better get on the ball and work on this because someone is counting on me.

So ok, I listened to the CD. I didn't have school today so I listened at home and took notes instead of listening in the car. I'm really glad I did because I had some insights.

First of all, I have had 2 real, full blown panic attacks so I knew what those felt like and considered session 2 to be referring to them. Since I haven't had anymore, I figured it really didn't apply to me - until today. This totally applies to what I feel in social situations AND when I get angry, just in a different way and on a different level.

So here are my notes, hopefully something here will help you in the way it helped me. I'm putting each of our names under each section so we can refer back and help each other (and ourselves) when we need to.


Identify your triggers. What is happening when you feel your anxiety coming on?

Steph: Anticipating social situations, small talk, parites, eye contact. Feeling overwhelmed, like to many demands are being made of me at once.

Bob:

Begin to watch for and be aware of your symptoms coming on.

Steph: For me my stomach is first. It knots up and I feel really nervous. Then my heart starts pounding and I start to sweat.

Bob:

This part here I modified from 6 steps to 3 based on what my coach told me. It's much easier to remember.

After you notice your symptoms coming on: ABC's

A: Accept - Ok, I'm feeling some anxiety. I'm going to be fine.
B: Breathe - This actually sends an "all clear" message to your brain that the threat has passed. DON'T SKIP THIS STEP!
C: Calm - Calmy talk yourself down instead of up. (It's just anxiety. I can deal with this. I'm going to practice these skills and it will pass)

Also noteworthy were the suggestions to reflect on these questions:

What are my scary thoughts?

Steph: I can't do this/that. Everyone will know I'm nervous. Everyone will think I'm weird. I can't control these feelings. They come on so fast. I'm too hyped up to calm down.

Bob:
What do I obsess about?

Steph: I'm obsess about people secretly not liking me or wanting me around. Thinking everything I say is stupid. I obsess about never getting better or being like this too long to change. About my life being so stressful I'm going to take years off my life.

Bob:

How am I setting myself up for these feelings?

Steph: By feeding myself the same negative messages everytime I'm in these situations. By beating myself if I slip or make a mistake.

Bob:

So what do you want to do next? I was thinking that we continue to check in daily and hold each other accountable for working these steps. We can talk about times it worked and times we struggled with it and what was different each time. What helps/what hurts basically.

Let me know your thoughts. I'm pumped! Talk soon

I wanted to add a quick summary to use as a refrence because there is a lot to look at on that post.


Identify your triggers.

Watch for body symptoms.

ABC's