Stress Center Peer Support

I think some of my achievements go back to my early childhood, I have always been very proud of my athletic abilities. I was a top gymnast in this city for 10 years, I won 2 city diving championships, and I am taking ballet classes =D

I returned to college after taking 3 years off because of my anxiety, and next semester I will be finishing my degree in education. I took 24 credits and got a 4.0 in one semester. I have been asked to attend 2 ceremonies for my excellent grades for NAU and have been asked to join a national honor society.

Another achievement is that I bought this program and am working very hard on it. I am able to eat full meals now with moderate to no anxiety =D And I am exercising again.

Wow, this is such a great topic!!!

- On my own my senior year of high school, which was 1987. Managed to graduate, secure an apt, a fulltime job, while NOT turning to drugs or alcohol - smart enough not to let "men" in my apt(you know what I mean, lol).

- While living on my own & working fulltime, I attended college @ nite & graduated w/ a 3.9 g.p.a

- I met & married the most <span class="ev_code_RED">wonderful man in 1997</span> - ok, lol - so I'm a little biased, lol . I got married for all the right reasons - cause I knew HE WAS THE 1 God had meant for me. I am proud of this - cause it would have been very easy, in my particular circumstance, to take the easy way out ='s to marry just ANYONE so I'd have companionship & the extra $'s coming in. I didn't do that. I always told myself, that I would have a college degree b/4 I got married. This way, not matter what happened - I knew I could DO FOR MYSELF/SURVIVE ON MY OWN. I did just that - I graduated college THE YEAR B/4 I got married. <span class="ev_code_RED">LOL - HOLLA - to all the strong & indepent ladies out there - yes you!!!</span> Just being silly. I just wanted to always make sure I was doing things for the right reasons.

- I am only the 3rd person in my immediate biological family to graduate high school. I am THE ONLY 1 in my immediate biological family w/ a COLLEGE DEGREE.

- I recovered fr anxiety disorder: was on anxiety med 3x's per day & 2 sleep aids. Now, none of them.

- I attended very intensive & painful therapy for the 1st time in my life - going back every single week - forcing myself to face & feel the surpressed pain I had(facing the past stuff) - knowing it was the path to my recovery. <span class="ev_code_RED">Most proud, because: my heart is not hardened by the "process" or the "facts/events" I needed to face. I'm no longer angry/bitter/resentful nor do I feel cheated. I DO believe in family, love, & life.</span> We condensed 20+ years of trauma into 20 MTHS. I never missed 1 session. I've learned forgiveness & the ability to let go - & move on.

- I had the courage & maturity to face myself, realizing that there were things about me & my personality that just needed to change - for my sake & no one else's. I reached a point in my life where, instead of pointing the finger - I looked myself in the mirror. I took responsibility for me & how I was feeling. I bought & completed Lucinda's program.

My character: will + determination + committment + courage + strength - is what aided me in my recovery. I realized, this was my gift fr God so to speak. Realizing that, is another achievement for me. I was home for 3 1/2 yrs while I recovered - alone majority of the time. My hubby worked - heck, everyone I knew - worked/spouses/children/homes - they were busy most of the time. I didn't faulter/crumble/give up or in - I fought like hell - for me/my independence/self sufficiency/my life.

- I faced some "food issues" I had, stemming fr the past stuff(yeah, that again, lol lol) in therapy. Simultaneously, I initiated a lifestyle change. I started changing my dietary intake(I had gotten fat) & initiated exercising. I joined WEIGHT WATCHERS in June 2007 & to date, I've lost 65lbs. I'm only a few lbs fr goal. I did this while having been diagnosed as depressed. As a result of my hard work, my depress med has been lowered 2x's. I'm in single digit pant sizes now ladies(y'all understand that, be honest)

- I have ret'd to working again. I've been successfully working for the past 3 mths almost. 1 day @ a time - & I am doing it. Anxiety didn't beat me. A paycheck feels real good!

- I've learned to "relax" & I LIKEEEEEEE IT - lord, I don't know what took me so darn long - but you know what - I don't care - I just care I SEE THE LIGHT & I UNDERSTAND.

- I have the "religion" I was raised w/. I still believe in it - HEART & SOUL. Except now, I have a faith. I can't necessarily quote scriptures & stuff. However, I have the most loving & mature relationship w/ our God - I know, no matter what happens in my life - he will always be there. This is an achievement for me - cause I KNOW KNOW IT, make sense.

- I've learned to make new friends just by reaching out. In addition, I have such a healthier perspective on all my relationships now - I'm no longer emotionally dependant.

- I've allowed God to guide me - I told him, let my experiences serve a greater purpose, beyond just myself. In the best way, I use my experiences to offer help/hope/inspire/motivate others.

- This 1 is most important to me: I love me - I do. I remember when this all went dwn. NOt only was I feeling whatever I was - I realized I didn't luv me & never truly did - I doubted me & my own abilities. I beat myself up all too often, unfortunately. I blamed myself for what had happened - spending majority of my life spinning wheels trying to undo/reverse what I thought I had caused.
I know, w/o a smidgen of a doubt, I did everything in my power/abilities to recover. I look in the mirror now, staring at the MUCH SKINNIER LADY(joking, lol) staring back @ me - I tell her how proud I am of her - defying most odds in the name of survival + the courage she showed for wanting & needing "change" + in spite of the treamendous fear she had - she WENT "THERE" STILL - so "we" could feel better - I let her know, "you are a wonderful/loving/giving/strong/beautiful/smart woman & I very proud of you. I wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world"(I did do that y'all - looking in the mirror & saying that). I wanted to learn to be ok for myself & w/ myself - in my own company - now I am.

I know I wrote a book - heck, majority of the time on here - I always write a lot, lol. It has taken me so long to be able to praise myself w/ belief & sincerity - that I just kept writing. You know why? Because I was truly feeling everything I wrote.

LENORE

Mine are:

*First person in my family to graduate college
*10 years of marriage
*Made it to age 45 & still not age past 27
*Scored over 100,000 points on Pac Man
*Finally reaching a point of understanding over my anxiety problems that is putting me on the path to greater self-understanding and growth
*Became a Master ASE Certified Automotive Technician this year

----graduated from college
----became a nurse
----have two wonderful children
----have a very nice dog
----work daily on my meditation
----work hard to overcome my anxiety
----best achievment: I make the greatest home-made bread!!

<span class="ev_code_RED">How DID you COLLEGE GRADUATES do it ??</span><span class="ev_code_GREEN">I'm 43, been seeing a VERY patient PSYCHOLOGIST, and IRONICALLY on my last session I admitted to her that sometimes (even on the way to that session) I see other women, driving a nice car, (presumably) on their way to the great career that GOT them that car, and to me.....sometimes it all seems so UNATTAINABLE!!</span><span class="ev_code_BLACK">I can remember ATTEMPTING to get past just 2 WEEKS of college classes when I was 19, but my self-doubts & thinking that I was "less than" or "not smart enough" , would bring me to tears, and I would just QUIT, then [of course] would condemn myself for yet "another failure". To THIS VERY day it still haunts me!! I've come a long way (in some areas) BUT at the same time my FEARS, ANXIETY & LOW SELF-ESTEEM has kept me from achieving any goals I've ever had. I KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LIST OUR SUCCESSES, but SERIOUSLY, I WANT TO KNOW.....TO THOSE OF YOU WHO GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.....HOW DID YOU DO IT WITH ALL the ANXIETIES and/or OTHER problems facing you .</span><span class="ev_code_RED">--JUST SO AS NOT to be a "DOWNER", I WILL list what I've somehow managed to achieve:</span>
---Through the (last two weeks) of: (1)A break-in & theft of our TOTAL inventory of our MOBILE business (2) Our second car's engine blew (3) I had to replace tires AND the battery on our "good" car (4) My husband decided NOT to continue on with the busines (we've been doing TOGETHER for 1 1/2yrs.) after the theft (which is OK for him, because he HAD a profession BEFORE we started.......Now I'M DAY by DAY STRUGGLING with SEVERE DEPRESSION because I DON't know WHAT ROUTE to take from here........
OKAY..........THAT being said (Thank goodness, right??)
--->I'm managing to get out of bed each day,and get myself together & OUT OF THE HOUSE, when there are days when I feel like giving up
on life itself.
--->Though SOME may think it TRIVIAL....I AM EXTREMELY proud of the training I've done with
my (stubborn) DOG, and the effort I put into making certain he is in good health (especially
when I see neglected "pets" who are abused, UNtrained & taken for granted by their owners.
--->I MAKE time (that I often DON'T have) to drive an hour to visit my 79 year old Mother, and my mildly retarded sister who lives with her...to be certain "all is well" (actually, although so-called "mentally retarded" I BELIEVE that my sister has MORE SENSE than the rest of my family!! She cooks, gardens with Mom, and has made a cleaning schedule-of her OWN-that she adheres to like CLOCKWORK! AMAZING!!)
-->Although 99% of the time I was NOT THANKED or RECOGNIZED for it, I've kept the household finances AND MUCH of our business finances in order.
-->>Having had minor strokes at 39, I let FEAR rule me for awhile, but now I'm ATTEMPTING to follow what my doctor says, by taking my B.P. meds. and I get exercise walking my 100 lb "puppy" 2X's / day. for exercise.
--->Though living with a husband who has UNtreated, adult ADHD..........I've managed (barely... through my couseling sessions) to NOT let his CONSTANT ups & downs AFFECT me like they used to. (I've used to think EVERYTHING was MY FAULT, but NOW I KNOW that MUCH of what was bothering me was trying to APPEASE & make HAPPY, a man who is NOT happy unless there's CHAOS around him.
-->I'm proud of myself for getting BACK on this site today after a LONG time away, and having the COURAGE to "let it all hang out"!!! I've learned that MOST of my DEPRESSION & ANXIETY was from keeping EVERYTHING INSIDE.

------Sorry for the LONG-WINDEDNESS.....but THANK-YOU to WHOEVER started this forum!!!!
>>>>EVERY DAY this week....I've been in tears, and felt suicidal, but I kept telling myself that I KNOW there MUST me a reason I'm here.
After reading others' achievements, I actually felt WORSE, but after GETTING it ALL OUT OF MY SYSTEM I FEEL MUCH, MUCH BETTER!!! Thanks to ALL of you for being here, and God be with ALL of YOU in your struggles as well!!!!

Looking for "me":
Hi:
I really enjoyed reading your post. I smiled as I read.
You've quite a dog there!
You've a great sense of humor!
You sound pretty neat to me!!

My acheivements?
I don't know.
I have 3 middle-aged kids. I raised 'em when they were growing up. Didn't think I was doing a very good job of it - but they are pretty nice.
And they've done a pretty good job of raising their off spring. Now they have grandkids, too.

I've traveled around to several of the States in my lifetime.
I don't know if I've acheived.
But I sure do like reading about all ya'lls!!
Keep up the good work, everyone!!
Mary Jane

Well, Many people asked to start a depression forum and now we have one. i posted the achievements topic as an exercise in being more positive about my life. It was in some book.
That being said, getting a degree did not gain me the great life I expected. I changed schools once and majors twice. My parents were very supportive and I was a good student in high school and eventually in college.
As I look back, I wonder what I wanted. I went to one school cause my Dad thought I should become an engineer and I was good in science (till I got to college).
Long story short, at 50, I still wonder what to be when I grow up.
I try to look at life now more as being than doing. I need a job badly, but I will work on myself in the meantime and I will be a better person for it.
P.S. Most of my time in college and all, I was setting myself up with the wrong expectations and worries. I was looking more to the future than the now.
So, hang in there and don't give up. You have some real accomplishments there, so don't take them for granted.

My achievements include:

-breaking things off with someone I loved but knew he was not right for me and I would always be sad If i was with him. That was the hardest thing to do.

-stopping my panic attacks during the day!

-sticking with my job, even though I felt like i should quit due to my panic disorder

-. . thinking back, graduating high school was a biggie for me because my anxiety back than was bad (but i didn't know it was anxiety and never had any support like I do now) and I still stuck with school.

Thanks!
-Holly

Hey Holly, wow you know that actually was one of the hardest things to do in my life, and I'm sure you felt that way too when you broke it off with someone who you loved but you knew it just wasn't right. I did that a few years ago as well, it takes so much strength to do something like that. But being sad all the time when you're with someone is the worst feeling in the world even if you care so much for them. That really is an achievement.

To (Looking for me)
When It comes to graduating from college you just have to go for it and keep going. I have not graduated yet but I will in dec. the only thing that will stop me is my own death. It has taken me nine years of going to school and sometimes not going to school so I could work and pay off credit card debt. I am the only one that I know who has stuck with it and went threw with going to school. I have faced depression since I was 4 years old. Yes my first trip to the doc for my depression was at 4.
The big problem with some people not finishing school is that they don't want to do without while they go. The second problem I see is that they aren't willing to pay the money for it they would rather have a new car or something. The third thing I see is that people say that they are not smart enough to do it. Well anybody can finish college. You just go to class take notes and take the test. The biggest part of doing well on the test is going to class. Sit up front pay attention and study for the test. If you don't understand something have the courage to raise your hand or go to the teacher during office hours. This can be one of the hardest parts (admitting you don't understand something)
Mainly you just have to have the attitude that nothing will stop me. I have no friends at school. I don't know anybody, I am alone when I am in a room full of people but I still go. I feel wierd the entire time, I feel I don't fit in and sometimes I want to quit but I just keep on going.