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Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 2:59 am
by QueenEsther
I stay away from people who treat me that way. That helps me a lot. I have worked to develop other supportive relationships so that I can avoid people who are rude to me. That helps a lot. It sounds like she bullies you. A lot of families have bullies. I refuse to be around family members who bully me.
Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 1:40 pm
by Lee Reeder
Hey Mike
I had to deal with a stepfather who was a pain in the rearend after I got into 12-step
programs & being the family member of an alcoholic doesn't help. Ive been in 2 different 12-step programs over 10 years apiece & it has made a big difference in my life . Is there a problem with alcoholism or drugs in the house ?
I realize this is something I know that's none of my buisness but it might be a contributing factor to why she's being difficult because she may need AA & you at least EA & or Al-Anon which will help both of you as she'll need EA possibly if alcohol isnt involved. My suggestion to you 2 is to see if there's an EA
meeting in your local area that 1 of you can attend as you need to get away from her as much as you can as I want to be there for you but know that emotionsanonymous.com will really help you more than I can as I've been in the program almost 12 years. Hope this is useful to you & I wish you the best of luck.
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 8:17 am
by Living in Hope
anyone out there have to deal with a family member who has BPD (borderline personality disorder)???
Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 8:52 am
by Tobes
Hi Mike. I can relate to your story. My father was the one who was always angry and controlling. He would control me through his anger, and I would resent it and be angry--but, of course, I couldn't properly express this anger back because of a fear of the repercussions and also a fear of losing his love. Do you feel like you cannot stand up to your sister because you are afraid of the consequences? You have to say, screw that. You deserve to be treated with respect. What is the worst that could happen? She will no longer talk to you? That might be a good thing. She will make things harder on you at home? Ignore her and eventually, her tactics will no longer work.
With someone like that, you cannot start yelling back--that just continues the cycle of that person pushing your buttons. Like Lucinda says in the CDs, when they are angry at you, be calm, non-responsive, and assertive. That person wont know what to do with you!