Stress Center Peer Support

Hi solly:

I sure wish I had an answer for you, but I can only relay my own personal experience with how I have felt regarding how my brain is working. Also, please go to see your Primary Care Physician to tell them all that is happening to you to get the proper diagnosis and treatment. A Primary Care Physican may refer you to a Specialist Doctor that can study the matter further. I wouldn't go back to the Chiropractor, sometimes they can do more harm than good and your spine is nothing to mess around with.

I started having problems at work back in 2006 and I had no idea what was going on. I thought I was doing okay as far as my job performance because no one told me otherwise. Really, at that time in my life, I had no idea WHAT was going on, I guess.

In 2007 I had a breakdown and ended up being hospitalized and I had a 5 month Short Term
Disability leave from my job. ( Thank God I was paid 100% of my salary while I was on leave).

After having my "crash and burn" I have always
felt like part of my brain just died or went away. I went back to work but I could not perform my job at all at the level that I once could. I was assigned tasks and job duties that
were way less complicated and took less thinking. I found myself having trouble focusing, concentrating,and remembering things. I even lost the ability to spell words correctly and I used to be an excellent speller. Now I spell words the way they sound,and not the way they are really spelled.
I joked around with a co-worker one time and I said that I felt like maybe I had had a stroke or something because my memory and my ability to do problem solving at work was almost completely diminished.

Now I am unemployed, since last year, due to Workforce Reduction ( the economy sucks )and so now I have to somehow find a job. How can I find a non-stressful job that does not stress me out and cause anxiety and fear, how can I find a job that does not require any problem solving or heavy balancing tasks, how am I going to be able to follow instructions and remember them? I am 50 years old and I honestly just want a simple job that does not require a lot of complicated tasks. I don't want the panic attacks again. I don't want the stress that comes with trying to be perfect at my job again.

I am sorry to ramble on so long. I wish I could answer your question.

My family doesn't "get it" and my ex-co-worker friends don't "get it". I am not the person that I used to be before I had my breakdown and I never will be. I think I need to go to this local support group that is held once a week at a place that is close to where I live, at least then I would be talking to people who "get it".

Love yourself, you are a great person and you matter. Don't forget that. I noticed that you are new to the Peer Support Group here. Are you working on the Program? I am on Session Six. If you are on the Program, keeping working on it. Everything in the Program works to help you improve and enjoy your life to the fullest. Keep working on the Program and it will work for you. Stay in touch with us and keep writing!

Did you read all of the posts above yours? It seems like they have some great advice and websites to refer you to and that they have some great knowledge to share.

Have a great New Year and don't forget
that 2011 is gonna rock!

Lynda Lu

Love hearing that we are not alone. We certainly are not alone. Everyone who finds themselves in this program, or any intensive program for recovery from depression, has plenty of company. The reason is we all have a brain. Our brains are as different as our fingerprints, and at the same time, as similar as the water we drink. We spent a very long time working ourselves into this unhappy cycle. I first posted this topic several years ago. Brain science was really evolving. These few years later, it is still evolving, and all the science is on your side. You can train yourself out of anxiety and depression. But you need a good plan to follow. This is one of the best you will find. One cd at a time, homework, peer support. You lay down new tracks for new pathways in your brain. Learn these skills and keep these tools handy, and you will be less tempted to stomp along in your new healthy brain tracks with your old muddy boots. You can do this. No one can do it for you. There is no magic. It's up to you. Best wishes for a better new year.