Stress Center Peer Support

Celeron,

It sounds like you've got a good handle on where the lack of motivation comes from. It's hard to shake things of our past and move forward.

I can't tell you if going back to school is the right thing for you, but it certainly may give you exposure to things that you may not have already been exposed to. In that, you may find something that really interests you, which could give you the inspiration to have your own business.

Another thing is that it's tough enough for those of us who have anxiety and depression and can share it with family or close friends who try to support us. I commend you for turning to all of us as your support!

Best wishes to you in your endeavors.

Problem was and still is with my family no one has ever went to college/university.

My parents were immigrants and never attended college as well. My father said that when we turned 18, we were no longer to be dependent on him. He refused to pay for college because he did not attend. So I too went to work after high school. That was MY FATHER'S expectation, NOT what I wanted, but that is all I could afford. I had to pay room and board, my car payment, insurance, clothes, phone, etc. Like your father , I now see that my father suffered from anxiety and depression. He slept alot and drank alot. I think it was his method of having to avoid life.

Having human emotions is NOT a sign of weakness. The fact is that many "old country" people (such as my father) were told to buck it up, keep it in, do not cry, otherwise you are weak and feeble. PLEASE! This is NOT the way to feel nor raise children. WHen emotions are bottled up, that is when we stuff it in and pay for doing so later. I am a product of that. The program had taught me that most of the things I was stuffing in really were my perception of the way I saw situations and that I was overreacting to say the least. I have learned to not have things "get me" anymore. I am going through some things now and sure I had a cry when it initially happened because I never EXPECTED these people to do what they did, but they did. I saw that I was expecting something that I should NEVER have been from these people, but like me they are human too. So I saw that I could not hold on to this because it would do me MORE harm than good. I moved on, whatever! I know in my heart that I did the right thing and THAT is ALL that matters. Their opinion of what happened (and they were not even there) matters not to me. I know the truth and that is all that matters. In the end things all will work out. I am at peace with that.

And yes there are people with degrees that I know that are working at Home Depot (home improvement store). Actually I only know 1 person personally, but their degree is in Music. Well unless you are really wanting to do something in music, then how was working in marketing with a music degree going to help you? So that person lost their job . Maybe a marketing degree would have been better ? There are PLENTY of people that have degrees and are employed in jobs which their degree reflects. If you get a general studies degree, well then most likely you will get a general job. Now I understand that the job market is not what it was several years back, but I do see jobs hiring for HVAC, welders, mechanics, our college has MANY job openings and one position is a receptionist for the campus police with a salary range of $38K-$46K! NO COLLEGE degree needed! That salary is NOTHING to sneeze at! If I was done with school I would JUMP on that job because it actually pays MORE than what my degree job would.

A college education would NOT hurt to have. I know in the US, at least in our area, most jobs want a college degree, even if it is a 2 year degree. Education NEVER harmed anyone. I have bene told by people I know that are owners of companies or managers that if they have 2 people with good resumes, good references and employment history and 1 has a college degree and the other does not, most likely they will choose the one with the college degree because it demonstrates a level of commitment, willingness, effort, drive to complete something, to have the initiative to better ones knowledge of information and skill, etc. Once you have that degree NO ONE can take it away!

celeron, How about 1 thing at a time and start with what worked before (this program for your anxiety). Then understand that you can't change your past...BUT you can change your future by starting with the present. Tackle all these issues 1 at a time, small steps and take your time cuz it will take time. Embrace your positives, your past good times as well and even your children (though they were not planned). You can do this cuz we all hurt, everybody in the world, and if someone says to you that their life is all good then there will come a day I think I could even promise that they will need some help someday, and guess what? You just might be the one (even years down the road) to help them out

Celeron, I asked before and you didn't answer. I think if you answer this question even in your own mind it may help guide you along. You mentioned wanting to own your own business. So pretend you're that little kid playing "what do I want to be when I grow up?" I want my own business. So close your eyes and picture it. What kind of business is it? So maybe that's the answer what you could go to school for or can you talk to other people in that kind of business and pick their brains. How about looking up on the internet the kind of business you picture. I'm picking your brain now and really would like to hear your answer.

Schnauzermom, I always enjoy your posts. For some reason I'm not able to PM you and I do like keeping in touch once in a while. Could you PM me please.

I am in the same position. I have no social life, no motivation to get one. I do have one passion in life. I am entering my senior year in college for my BA in criminal justice. It is something I really love and I love school. It's surprsising because I have always hated school. All other things in my life are just blah! I have a boyfriend but I don't know if we are supposed to be together but I depend on him for love and friendship, I work but I struggle to get through it. I pretty much sleep when Im not in school. I have no motivation either your not alone.

Originally posted by Barb G.:
Celeron, I asked before and you didn't answer. I think if you answer this question even in your own mind it may help guide you along. You mentioned wanting to own your own business. So pretend you're that little kid playing "what do I want to be when I grow up?" I want my own business. So close your eyes and picture it. What kind of business is it? So maybe that's the answer what you could go to school for or can you talk to other people in that kind of business and pick their brains. How about looking up on the internet the kind of business you picture. I'm picking your brain now and really would like to hear your answer.

Schnauzermom, I always enjoy your posts. For some reason I'm not able to PM you and I do like keeping in touch once in a while. Could you PM me please.

Hi, I never could play that as a kid. While all the other kids wanted to be Police men or fire fighters, I just didn't really care. The only dreams I ever had was I wanted to be a professional soccer player, then I wanted to be the next Michael Jordan, I did try my best at both these but failed and at 28 I'm not exactly going to be drafted into the NBA anytime soon. I had the same problem in careers class at school, the other kids all knew what they wanted to be, I didn't and still don't

Hmm, if you like sports how about coaching or being a ref? Do your kids play any sports (not sure how old they are)?

Having a degree is no guarantee around here (Michigan). I have a BS in legal studies (paralegal) and worked as a legal asst. for 6+ years and then moved for my husband's job. I'm working full time now but didn't for almost 3 and am making $26,000 at a temp job I'm horribly overqualified for and bored at most of the time. On the other hand my husband is an electrician and makes around $66,000 before OT, which he gets most weeks.

celeron, So you don't know what you want to be now that you've grown up????? Join the other half of the world including those double your age. Many people NEVER figure it out. You can figure it out tho if you try something. Trying something is better than nothing. Eventually you will hit upon the right thing and have peace in your heart.

This is a very interesting forum and it's quite amazing that people can have such similarities, I have really never had lack of motivation until recently and it has been overwhelming, I did not have time to even go through the program until I lost my job been in the process of losing my business blah, blah,,,

I have just recently statrted talking and reaching out to people (note I was a social animal most of my life) I believe I have it also with the fact that a lot of stuff went wrong ALMOST at the same time. Hopefully this forum will be a place we can share our stories and be able to help each other with depression, anxiety and whatever causes us to have these condition. Again thank you for your shared stories/experiences.

Jay