Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:17 pm
Hey there Wake:
Your situation sounds exactly like mine. I became a department head approx. 18 months ago. I am competent at my job and am often praised by my boss. However, I have to attend meetings with the other department heads twice a week and report out on various projects related to my program. When I first started the job I told my boss that I did not "like" public speaking and she agreed not to have me do presentations for a little while. However, this year I had to do one in front of about 50 people. I got off to a shaky start but ended OK. Mind you I obssessed about this event for about three weeks and imagined that every kind of embarrassment you can imagine would happen to me in front of my colleagues. My boss was pleased and now thinks that since I managed that I am able to present without undue nervousness. But the experience, though uneventful, tore me right out of my comfort zone so now the anxiety I've kept at bay for the past 18 months is currently on terror alert. About four weeks ago I had a full blown panic attack in a meeting with the other department heads. I began trembling uncontrollably and fumbling for words. To make matters worse, one of my colleagues approached me after the meeting and wondered why I was so shaky considering I was "not in a stressful situation". Well I almost handed in my resignation that day....... but I am a single parent with kids and mortgage so quitting would mean putting myself and the kids out on the street.
Currently my ability to sit through departmental meetings and report out has gone completely. I am pertrified of embarrassing myself again. I've since had to give a presentation and am scheduled to give another next week. I've only been able to manage because a psychiatrist friend of mine prescribed Propanalol for me. Like most anxious people I really don't want to take anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication. Propanalol has worked out to be an acceptable trade-off for me. Propanalol is a beta-blocker that slows down your heart-rate and gets rid of my physical symptoms i.e. extreme trembling. Before I took it I did not believe it would work but trust me it does. Of course, you still feel inwardly anxious but nobody knows because your are not gasping for breath and your chest is not heaving because your heart is going so fast. I take it about twenty minutes before my meeting and do just fine. The other days I take nothing and just live with the spacey feeling.
I plan to look into Toastmasters and Passionflower as others have suggested here.
Please post a response and let me know how you are doing. Out of all the posts I've read your situation is the most similarf to mine. I found it comforting to read your post and want you to know you are not alone. I don't plan to quit my job and encourage you not to quit yours either. If you were not capable of doing the work you would not have been promoted.
Good luck.
Your situation sounds exactly like mine. I became a department head approx. 18 months ago. I am competent at my job and am often praised by my boss. However, I have to attend meetings with the other department heads twice a week and report out on various projects related to my program. When I first started the job I told my boss that I did not "like" public speaking and she agreed not to have me do presentations for a little while. However, this year I had to do one in front of about 50 people. I got off to a shaky start but ended OK. Mind you I obssessed about this event for about three weeks and imagined that every kind of embarrassment you can imagine would happen to me in front of my colleagues. My boss was pleased and now thinks that since I managed that I am able to present without undue nervousness. But the experience, though uneventful, tore me right out of my comfort zone so now the anxiety I've kept at bay for the past 18 months is currently on terror alert. About four weeks ago I had a full blown panic attack in a meeting with the other department heads. I began trembling uncontrollably and fumbling for words. To make matters worse, one of my colleagues approached me after the meeting and wondered why I was so shaky considering I was "not in a stressful situation". Well I almost handed in my resignation that day....... but I am a single parent with kids and mortgage so quitting would mean putting myself and the kids out on the street.
Currently my ability to sit through departmental meetings and report out has gone completely. I am pertrified of embarrassing myself again. I've since had to give a presentation and am scheduled to give another next week. I've only been able to manage because a psychiatrist friend of mine prescribed Propanalol for me. Like most anxious people I really don't want to take anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication. Propanalol has worked out to be an acceptable trade-off for me. Propanalol is a beta-blocker that slows down your heart-rate and gets rid of my physical symptoms i.e. extreme trembling. Before I took it I did not believe it would work but trust me it does. Of course, you still feel inwardly anxious but nobody knows because your are not gasping for breath and your chest is not heaving because your heart is going so fast. I take it about twenty minutes before my meeting and do just fine. The other days I take nothing and just live with the spacey feeling.
I plan to look into Toastmasters and Passionflower as others have suggested here.
Please post a response and let me know how you are doing. Out of all the posts I've read your situation is the most similarf to mine. I found it comforting to read your post and want you to know you are not alone. I don't plan to quit my job and encourage you not to quit yours either. If you were not capable of doing the work you would not have been promoted.
Good luck.
Maybe there will be some more people on here with advice about "the question".