The thing is, he wants me to have a CT scan, which I have no problem with.
However, it will be between 2-3 months away.
I did not understand this 2-3 months stuff, but I see you are from Canada. My doctor (in US) sent an order via fax form his office and not even an hour later I was being scanned. Goodness, I guess healthcare is not perfect no matter where you go.
I am sorry and can empathize with your fear. I was in your position several years back and ran up a bill over $20K in testing to, at that time, find nothing wrong. I also lost 40 lbs in a matter several months.
The mind can be so powerful. I used to sit there hunched over in horrible pain in my stomach, nauseous so severely my husband took me to the ER only to find nothing. And yes it is scary to think that maybe something is wrong and for me even scarier because I felt SO horrible but no one was finding anything. I kept insisting something was wrong, I felt it. That nausea was real. But when we get into the anxious mode, feeling nauseous is normal. My stomach burned too. The MD gave me Prilosec and then Nexium. NONE of the MD's I saw and I saw many at several different hospitals, one was even a highly respected medical teaching school pegged this as anxiety/depression. I took psychology and something told me to see a PhD. I did. Not that he helped much, but I was able to get meds (via my MD and PhD working together) and some talk therapy, enough to be convinced after several sessions that this was anxiety and depression. It took several months to feel strong and confident enough to go on job interviews. Then I got a job, worked and all was back to normal again.
It has been 2 years since I completed the program. It also has been 2 years since I was diagnosed with an incurable, chronic illness that may progress and then again may not. I have learned that I can live in fear every day and let that fear rob me of living OR just live my life and "take care of business". I chose the later. Sure I am scared, but that fear is not in my line of sight 24/7 because if it was I would not be able to attend classes at the college, continue to love those around me (and receive their love back) to wake up each morning and just be thankful I can think, see, breathe, feel, walk, talk, drive anywhere, go to church, go out with friends, etc, etc. What I am trying to say is that I do not know what my future holds (NO one does) nor can I change what will be BUT I have the ability to change the manner I perceive my situation, the manner I react to the situation. I can sit and think about and fear it OR I can just live my life. I just want to live and do what I can. I want to enjoy experiences, friends, people in general, I want go to concerts, plays, I want to go fishing, I want to ice skate, ride my bike. I do not want to later say that Geez, if I only would not have wasted my time sitting around andworrying and just lived. I do not want that regret. Even with what I have going on, I do not have to allow that to define me. I am not my illness, I AM ME!
You have not been diagnosed with anything yet, so there is 1 HUGE positive. I envy you! Second, your MD has your results. Trust me if Canadian MD's are anything like US MD's, if they found something terribly wrong they would call ASAP. You have not been diagnosed with "A" or "B"...JUMP FOR JOY! See that as a positive!
And
He said he would check for cancer, just to ease his and my thoughts.
to me it sounds that everything he has checked thus far is not raising a red flag, this test is to ease both your minds. ANOTHER positive! I really think is he felt something was awry, he would have just said you NEED this test and got you in.
Focus on what you have rather which thus far IS a clean bill of health rather than looking for something you don't have. If I could tell you all the things I diagnosed myself with you would probably laugh at me! Anxiety like I said can cause all these things you are experiencing. I have done it twice. Since doing the program, I have not gone down deep road. Keep doing the lessons, listen to them over and over again, especially the lesson they talk about physical symptoms of anxiety. This can help reinforce that this REALLY is anxiety and that you can feel better. I found that reassuring to listen to over and over again. I also found doing relaxation and journaling helps. Keep doing the program.
Oh yeah, stay away from all those medical website that self diagnose. I ended up with ebola, cancer and things I cannot even spell. Stop the armchair diagnoses! That only will continue to terrify the bejeezes outta you for NO reason.
Use your negative/postive notebook every single time you have a thought about your health. I obsessed about every cancer and tumor I "had" too. Write your postive statement to counteract the negative. Since you haven't had your CT scan yet and you might be saying to yourself, "well, I don't know for sure I'm okay yet," then you might want to write about everything good and wonderful in your life. Notice the details of life. It will cause you to look beyond yourself and how you are feeling.