Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 9:41 am
Fearnot,
Everyone with anxiety always thinks they are the worst, and then we all get together, and we feel so much better knowing we're not the worst:). Thanks for having the courage to share your story:) to help others.
I agree about the Satanic attacks, etc. However, one thing that has really helped me in my recovery is to know that God is actually strong when we are weak. One time I read that in a lesson in the book "Quiet Times for Women". Page 65 quotes the scripture from 2 Corinthians 12:8-9, in which Paul talks about boasting in his weaknesses because when he was weak God was strong. In addition on page 66 it says, "Know who you are and accept yourself. Don't covet someone else's abilities, but recognize your own assets and use them. Also accept your limitations. God doesn't ask you to account for what you don't have. Isn't that a relief? The Lord puts less pressure on us than anyone in the world, because He knows us as we really are." This doesn't mean we are not supposed to take steps to heal from anxiety, but it does mean that we should work very hard to see ourselves through God's eyes and not through the eyes of the people who are judging us when we have anxiety. In addition, we should NEVER EVER think that because we have anxiety and no matter how severe it is that God is not using us from right where we are if our hearts are open to Him. I think that Satan lies to us when he tells us that God can't use us in certain situations, and usually it's when we feel weak for some reason whether it is from anxiety, unemployment, cancer, having autism, etc. that we fall for this lie. Satan wants us to believe that God only uses perfect, squeaky clean, rich, successful people who are always strong, and in my opinion, that's very damaging. That's extremely comforting to me to know that God uses me even when I'm anxious and at my worst, and I hope it is comforting to you too.
One time, I shared on here before how I was in grad school, I have a son with autism, and he, myself, and my husband were all at home for spring break. I wouldn't let my husband leave me at home alone, and I wouldn't go only a few feet to a grocery store. Ofcourse, my husband was ticked off because we kept ordering take-out. What I was doing was clearly wrong in my mind. I wasn't being a good wife or mother because of my fear, and I was in desperate condition. My son wasn't sleeping because of his autism, and one night he was screaming so badly, that I just went out to our car to get away. I was sure God thought badly of me for my condition. I reached over and opened up a Quiet Times, and every page I opened it to in a row was on fear, and how God loved me, and didn't judge me because of my fear. He was telling me that He wasn't the one who had a problem with me, and He was going to love me through this.
The next day, we were able to go to the grocery store. That was three years ago. I don't go by myself, but I go shopping many places now:), and have a lot of successes over the past few months especially. I have found that the more I realize that God loves me no matter what, and the more I accept myself right where I am, the better I do. Yes, it's anxiety, and it needs to be treated, but even if I am the worst of the worst, I have the same value as everyone else in this world. All people have weaknesses, and anxiety just happens to be mine and yours. No one's better then us.
As far as wanting to help people who are hurting, that is great that you want to use your experiences to help others. However, I've learned not to overlook things that you may consider to be "little" when doing so. You coming on here and posting today probably helped a lot of people by you having the courage to tell your story. You are helping people right now. God is using you right now. He uses us at times when we feel the most weak because that's when He gets all of the glory. I just encourage you not to underestimate that. You could very well be traveling the world in time and helping thousands if it is God's will, but it may also be God's will for you to smile at a neighbor, say a prayer for one person, help someone on this support page, or kiss your child's "bo bo". I've learned that, and it's helped me tremendously, and I hope it helps you:). As Patsy Clairmont who is a Christian author who had agoraphobia says, "God uses cracked-pots":)! You may also want to look at some of her books. I think her autobiography is "I Grew Up Little Believing in A Big God."
Take Care,
luvpiggy
Everyone with anxiety always thinks they are the worst, and then we all get together, and we feel so much better knowing we're not the worst:). Thanks for having the courage to share your story:) to help others.
I agree about the Satanic attacks, etc. However, one thing that has really helped me in my recovery is to know that God is actually strong when we are weak. One time I read that in a lesson in the book "Quiet Times for Women". Page 65 quotes the scripture from 2 Corinthians 12:8-9, in which Paul talks about boasting in his weaknesses because when he was weak God was strong. In addition on page 66 it says, "Know who you are and accept yourself. Don't covet someone else's abilities, but recognize your own assets and use them. Also accept your limitations. God doesn't ask you to account for what you don't have. Isn't that a relief? The Lord puts less pressure on us than anyone in the world, because He knows us as we really are." This doesn't mean we are not supposed to take steps to heal from anxiety, but it does mean that we should work very hard to see ourselves through God's eyes and not through the eyes of the people who are judging us when we have anxiety. In addition, we should NEVER EVER think that because we have anxiety and no matter how severe it is that God is not using us from right where we are if our hearts are open to Him. I think that Satan lies to us when he tells us that God can't use us in certain situations, and usually it's when we feel weak for some reason whether it is from anxiety, unemployment, cancer, having autism, etc. that we fall for this lie. Satan wants us to believe that God only uses perfect, squeaky clean, rich, successful people who are always strong, and in my opinion, that's very damaging. That's extremely comforting to me to know that God uses me even when I'm anxious and at my worst, and I hope it is comforting to you too.
One time, I shared on here before how I was in grad school, I have a son with autism, and he, myself, and my husband were all at home for spring break. I wouldn't let my husband leave me at home alone, and I wouldn't go only a few feet to a grocery store. Ofcourse, my husband was ticked off because we kept ordering take-out. What I was doing was clearly wrong in my mind. I wasn't being a good wife or mother because of my fear, and I was in desperate condition. My son wasn't sleeping because of his autism, and one night he was screaming so badly, that I just went out to our car to get away. I was sure God thought badly of me for my condition. I reached over and opened up a Quiet Times, and every page I opened it to in a row was on fear, and how God loved me, and didn't judge me because of my fear. He was telling me that He wasn't the one who had a problem with me, and He was going to love me through this.
The next day, we were able to go to the grocery store. That was three years ago. I don't go by myself, but I go shopping many places now:), and have a lot of successes over the past few months especially. I have found that the more I realize that God loves me no matter what, and the more I accept myself right where I am, the better I do. Yes, it's anxiety, and it needs to be treated, but even if I am the worst of the worst, I have the same value as everyone else in this world. All people have weaknesses, and anxiety just happens to be mine and yours. No one's better then us.
As far as wanting to help people who are hurting, that is great that you want to use your experiences to help others. However, I've learned not to overlook things that you may consider to be "little" when doing so. You coming on here and posting today probably helped a lot of people by you having the courage to tell your story. You are helping people right now. God is using you right now. He uses us at times when we feel the most weak because that's when He gets all of the glory. I just encourage you not to underestimate that. You could very well be traveling the world in time and helping thousands if it is God's will, but it may also be God's will for you to smile at a neighbor, say a prayer for one person, help someone on this support page, or kiss your child's "bo bo". I've learned that, and it's helped me tremendously, and I hope it helps you:). As Patsy Clairmont who is a Christian author who had agoraphobia says, "God uses cracked-pots":)! You may also want to look at some of her books. I think her autobiography is "I Grew Up Little Believing in A Big God."
Take Care,
luvpiggy
