Real Work Excuse

Perfectfacade83 · Post by **Perfectfacade83** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:07 pm

Okay so I know I'm not the only one who has been late to or missed work because of anxiety and/or depression, and usually I will just say "I'm sick." That prompted me to wonder what would we say if we actually told our bosses the truth?

1. "I can't come in today because I feel like I'm having a heart attack....okay, yes, I am a healthy 25 year old...no, I really am having a heart attack this time.."

2. "I will be late today because I'm glued to the toilet and you see we have a public restroom in the office so if I have to go that would be too embarrassing."

3. "I will be late today because I cannot stand staff meetings. I swear I will pass out during one of them, one of these days..."

Keep em going

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:03 pm

"My neighbors friend and cousin who works near my neighbor and talks to her often has some sort of flu. It was either the swine flu, stomach flu. H1N1 , Malaria, The Plague or some sort of sickness that's really really bad and my neighbor came by and borrowed a cup of sugar from me last night and now I may have a fever so I am going to stay home and quarantine myself...Just to make sure I don't contaminate anyone. Okay? See you next week!"

:p

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:54 am

Come on people..This is fun

sawdyj · Post by **sawdyj** » Thu Apr 22, 2010 5:40 am

"hey boss, i'm pretty sure today is the day that i am going to die. i know i thought that the last 5 times i called in, but i'm certain it's today and my wish is to die at home...ok i'll see you tomorrow"

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Sun Apr 25, 2010 12:08 pm

HebbReese · Post by **HebbReese** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 7:20 am

"Well see boss, I have this little bump on my chin, and I guess it could be a pimple, but I'm pretty positive that I saw one of those brown recluce spiders in my closet yesterday. So if it's actually a bite then I don't want my face falling off at work. What would the customers, say?"

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Tue May 04, 2010 3:55 am

LOL ...good one

SeaRunner · Post by **SeaRunner** » Tue May 25, 2010 7:45 pm

Oh Lord, I know how this goes. These are all real, of course.

Sorry, but I can't come in today:

1) Gravity might stop working and I'll fall off the planet on the way in to the office. I best wait until tomorrow to be sure.

2) I can't remember if I took my medications a few minutes ago. I'm pretty sure I did but I can't be totally sure. What if I'm just remembering taking them yesterday? I can't take them again, I might overdose.

3) I'm afraid I might forget where I live and not be able to get home. Or I might forget where I am and not know where to go from there. Dang, I really need one of those little ID bracelets from when I was a kid.

4) I ate something from a box/container that had a safety seal missing. I'm sure I've been poisoned. Can you call 911 for me?

5) I might run out of gas on the way to or from work. Yes, I know that my tank is full and the drive is only 12 miles. Yes I know that there are gas stations along the way. What if my battery dies then?

6) My back and legs are sore and stiff. I realize that I exercised hard yesterday, but I'm pretty sure that this is a sign that I'm going to be paralyzed from the waist down. I'd prefer becoming a paraplegic from home.

7) I can't breath. Yes I know that there's more air outside, but I like my home air better.

9) I think I have the flu. No I don't have a fever. No, no chills either. No, no vomiting. Yes, a mild headache I think, but it could get worse.

10) OMG, I skipped number 8. I'm finally going crazy. You don't want a crazy employee, do you?

michelle37 · Post by **michelle37** » Wed May 26, 2010 6:24 pm

very funny!!!!!!

THH · Post by **THH** » Sun May 30, 2010 5:21 am

Those are GREAT!

I'll think of a few to add! LOl...