The human body: the spirit's cage; a pain machine.

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Circa 1885
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 12:22 am

Post by Circa 1885 » Fri May 22, 2009 7:46 am

In December, I posted this (condensed version):
About this time last month, I got a sore throat, which lasted two and a half weeks, on only one side. As it went on, two things held sway over it: the amount of sleep I'd had the night before and whether I was worrying, especially about it. When I got enough sleep and felt calmest, like on the weekends, it all but went away, only to come back on monday. It was never there upon waking up, coming on as I went through the day expecting it. I saw the doctor three times, and each time, they reported just a little irritation and nothing to worry about, especially because it came with no other symptoms. It never developed into a cold. Nothing, not one swollen gland.

I am in my first semester of college, and stressed like never before. And then I got this sore throat for 2.5 weeks, which scared me so much that I was barely able to leave my room. At that point, I arranged to change my major for a more suitable one...and a few days later, it was gone.

And this week, a symptomless week and a half later, in the middle of finals, it came back. A day later, when I got my sleeping back on schedule, gone. I stopped worrying until last night, when I suddenly wondered, what is it? So, I entered "chronic sore throat" into Google...don't do it. Don't ever do it.


In January, I went to a doctor and was given acid reflux medicine, which I took for a month, and in accordance with that, a change of diet, and my stress level slowly going down, my throat got so much better, even after I stopped taking the medicine a month later. Since then, it has only gotten better, reducing to a twinge every now and then when I got really worked up. Even returning my diet to normal didn't do much.

It's back now, though. About a week and a half ago, I started worrying horribly about that twinge. I tried to stop, knowing that if I was too stressed, it could possibly come back, and it did. I'm so scared that I'm barely eating again, and I might lose all the weight I gained back when I was less afraid.

I will not go back on medication because since I last did that, I have read about PPIs and other acid reflux medicines and how they can damage your health even more--hundreds of horror stories posted online. I have been in therapy since January, but as long as I feel this pain, it's all for nothing.
And so I'm out of options. EVERYTHING I can do will either no nothing or hurt me more. The only thing that can end my fear is this going away for good without harmful drugs, but that's nonsense.

Still having no other symptoms but the sore throat, but whoever heard of a sore throat not leading to anything worse eventually?? What if the acid reflux medicine didn't actually do anything, and the improvement during that time was a coincidence, because it's actually something much, much worse?? My body feels like a time bomb. I'm trapped. Beginning to realistically fear that I will seriously hurt myself. I'm not really afraid of dying in any way anymore but slowly, of something linked to this.
I have someone important to become, who has always been so vivid and alive in my mind; this isn't supposed to happen in her life. I don't even know if I can call it a life anymore, because my definition of death is not like most people's. It is living, permanently, with anything that can detract from doing what I love. That is my worst fear: something separating me and the accomplished girl in my head.

So, has anyone ever had a sore throat that behaved like this (responding to stress)? I need to know that someone is out there with a message of hope instead of fear. That website I clicked on in December, and one other, that restarted my anxiety long ago and that I am too afraid to even mention to my therapist or type the name of, may have ruined my life.

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri May 22, 2009 9:23 am

I have had similar symptoms when I experience extreme stress. However, I get a sore throat along with extreme body aches. I know this is related to stress because when I go to sleep and wake up the next morning rested it always appears to be much better....I have had extreme stress this week with my stepdad passing away. I have been by my moms side most of the time and cared for him in his last hours some at home. The other night prior to his services the aches hit me again and a sore throat. I started to get the what if thinking, etc....and I decided that I would deal with whatever the what if's dealt out....I went to bed and sure enough I woke up 6 hours later feeling much better. I say this to encourage us to try and let the feelings come but, not stiffle us. To let the sore throat happen and still go on with our day. I am learning to let the symptoms happen but, not stop me. This seems to have helped.

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri May 22, 2009 1:21 pm

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear that you feel so hopeless because I am certain that there is a lot of help and hope for you. You said "whoever heard of a sore throat not leading to something worse". Let me share my story with you of a very different outcome.

Though it's not the same problem, throughout college I struggled with swollen and achy glands in my throat and under my arm pits. It was eventually found to be mononuceosis. However, although I am now in my thirties, if I get under an extreme amount of stress, I will get a swollen lymph node. In fact, during Hurricane Katrina which destroyed the town I grew up in but had moved away from, I got golf ball sized lymph nodes in my neck and a swollen red face. I did go to the doctor, but I knew before I went that it was the stress of knowing Katrina destroyed the town I grew up in before I went.

So, my point is that it has never lead to something worse. I do need to take care of myself. I need to eliminate stress that I can and have better coping skills. I am much better now at dealing with stress after going through this program and exercising and having a good therapist.

So, I know your symptoms aren't fun, but you have shown that they are connected to stress. You can learn to cope with stress which will alleviate your symptoms. Do you have this program? I promise you it's not hopeless.

Take care,
luvpiggy

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri May 22, 2009 5:38 pm

This is obvious to me by reading your posting, that the sore throat thing is "definitely" anxiety related...

I have had the sore throat more times, than Carter had liver pills!!!

You need to work on your "what if" thinking!!!

Try your best to keep your anxiety level down, and watch that sore throat go away, once again...

You are "obsessing" over nothing!!! You really need to let go of these "scary" thoughts!!!

Have a great night...God Bless

Guest

Post by Guest » Sat May 23, 2009 3:29 am

I've had the sore throat thing before. I remember just recently I had it for about a week. I wanted to tell someone somehting but it took me a while to work up the guts to and I was stressing myself out. When I finally told him and I got everything off of my chest I felt sooo much better! My throat cleared up. It was like the words were stuck in my throat for a week. When people get stressed out there body responds, and with you it is a sore throat. That happens a lot. Try not to worry about it and keep doing your relaxation CD if you have it, or just listen to some calming music, that usually helps a little. :)

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