Post
by hopeful12 » Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:01 am
This is so normal. Sometimes we push ourselves to do something and then all of the sudden we are thinking out of fear -- oh no, what have I done? I can't possibly go through with this? What if I panic while driving, etc. Just tell yourself it is a normal response and you are going to do it anyway -- you will be fine. I also find myself checking myself especially when I notice that I have not been anxious for a while. Then I make myself anxious by checking -- how am I feeling, what if I start feeling panicky, o.k. now I am feeling panicky. So now, I try to just tell myself -- Oh, there I go again with that habit of checking myself. I don't need to do that anymore. It helps.
You were wondering if your symptoms were because you were taking a break from the program. Sometimes when we are feeling better, we kind of let the program go. That's o.k. but sometimes the return of our symptoms are what compels us to keep working at it. So in a way, it keeps us on track. However, we should be gentle with ourselves. There is no perfect way to do the program. We don't have to do it perfectly, just keep at it. Sometimes our magical thinking comes in and we get kind of superstitious -- or at least I did at first. I would tell myself that I had to do everything perfectly -- relax tape 3 times a day, workbook, etc. Any of the things we do, helps us and we should be serious about feeling better -- but being regimented about doing the program is just our already type A, anxious way of doing something that got us into trouble in the first place. If you beat yourself up about not doing the program perfectly, that really is not helping is it? Took me a while to figure that out. God Bless and be gentle with yourself!
its so embarrassing to even type that. But I thought myself right into it. Like I noticed my thoughts taking over and creating this panic inside. But I couldn't shut it off or distract it in the least. Has anyone else had such troubles? Or do you think it's just bc I have been slacking and haven't given my full attention to the program lately? This is so frusterating. But on my drive home aside from some panic and wanting to just get home, I gave myself a little positive self talk such as hey I did it! I didn't want to but I did and I've come this far. But it's still so depressing when you can't do normal things. 
it's so nice to hear how other people cope and to learn new things. And it's so hard to not think that by doing the program in what we believe would be perfection causing it to not be as affective. But just by doing it in some way is so helpful for us. And we should just be proud of ourselves for taking some sort of action in our lives. 