Dear Diary

[LyndaLu]

jamie: Even though I am new to this group I want you to know that you are in my thoughts

and my prayers every day. You have been through so much, you are so strong, much stronger

than I would be in your situation. Keep in touch and I will too. Lynda.

[LyndaLu]

Where is paislee, she usually writes so often, but then the website WAS

down for at least a couple of weeks while they were changing servers.

I kept checking the website at the time and I had no idea what was going on.

I noticed that no one wrote in the Dear Diary section for a month.

Lynda

[LyndaLu]

I will try to have something inspirational or witty to say in my next post.
Sometimes I have don't know what to say or how to offer advice or comfort,
the words just don't come out right. It is all in my head, but just doens't come
out right in my writing.

Lynda

[forever young 06]

Lyndalu,
you have almost written about me. I too just lost my job about 5 wks to be exact. I suffer from panic attacks and agrophobia have for probably 30 yrs. I started taking medication which helped get me out of the house, I was almost home bound. I got a job 11 yrs ago and held on to it with all my might it too was my extended family and kept me grounded. I am limited in what I can do because I can't drive everywhere I am still area bound. I like you took the medicine and existed so I never fully recovered. Now I don't know what to do I am on unemployment and am paying cobra for my insurance very expensive.I wonder what you would have done differently when you lost your job. I almost think about signing up on disabilty benefits as I think I would qualify but really I would like to get well and live a full life not just exist which is what I am doing and would be doing if I went the route of disability.
Jaime I feel for you for what you are going thru right now. I know things could always be worse. I have went thru the shock the anger and then depression I will recover. I love this thread I have read it all the way thru and have not wrote a lot in this thread as I didn't feel I had a lot to say but there is a lot of support here and that is what we need.

[SoWhatif]

I surely do love seeing this optimizim in action.
It Sure sucks when the bottom falls out. We get back on our feet and move ahead and much wiser than before.

J, Your friend the p.t head is in over her head. Straight out tell her if she promotes it around your daughter that she is crossing the line and there will be education. Some learning courses may be life changeing for her.... limited food intake...., and DUI or worse can be ugly. Sorry to say you are being used as a enabler. Make her accountable to you, you deserve and have earned it. You may also want to find other transportation. Appears her self image is drowning her.

Use that Angel, J. You have turned the down side up, and will get threw the upcoming challanges with integrity and caracter.
Do not be afraid. Little do you know how much your stamina has strenghtened me. Thanks

Lyndalou and Forever, Thanks for sharing your reality with us. Keep moving forward and we can see amazing things do happen.
There are times when my worst of days can turn out to be some of the best days.

Tina, sorry I have been absent. My time has been vastly altered learning dimentia and all the bases that must be covered to not see her turn into mush. A couple siblings would seem to prefer it. I do not understand them, we must and will be held accountable for what we do. My quality over quantity thinking for her well being seems to elude them. I now drive 40 miles to get her breakfast daily and her meds so at least her day is started well. Being there daily has given me alot of insight into the inconsistancys feeding her decline.

Later and all be safe.

R

[LyndaLu]

forever: I am currently in the middle of a Social Security Disability Claim. The process is long and
disappointing. I am working with an advocate/attorney so that I may have a better chance of winning
my case. I applied for SSD and was denied. I appealed the decision and was denied. I am now going
through the hearing part of the process, where there is a hearing before the courts. The hearing
can be scheduled in the next 12-18 months. Some hearings are done by video. I am not sure how
this last part of the process works, I am just along for the ride while my advocate helps me out.
I have some physical and behavioral health issues. I filed for SSD in April 2011. ( The very, very
first time I filed was in June 2009 and I filed by myself with no additional advocate assistance,
this case was denied six months later and I did not appeal. I felt like it was all over, so I did not
appeal the 2009 case). Anyway, disability is almost impossible to qualify for. Good luck to you if
you try to go the disability route. Lynda

[LyndaLu]

Dear Diary:

Well today I thought I could read all 61 pages of this Dear Diary post so that I could learn more about the other

folks that are writing on here and have some more insight into their lives. I read four pages and then my eyes

got tired and I realized that it would be impossible for me to read 61 pages. So, I will just continue on from

where I started and not look back.


My mom was just in the hospital for four days with an irregular heatbeat. She has heart and lung problems.

My mom smoked for years and years and years and is now suffering the horrible consequences of her smoking.

Her mind is there and she lives independently and pays her own bills. She drives her own car, which I think is

scary because her eyesight is worsening. She needs a new hearing aid too. I saw her every day at the hospital,

as my sister lives out-of-state. When mom returned home I stayed with her for four more days. She is weak

and tired, but still has her wits about her. She has a helper-lady that comes to help her for 2 hours on Mondays

and for 2 hours on Thursdays. That really helps her out a lot. The helper-lady helps my mom bathe and the

lady cleans my mom's house. My mom really enjoys the company of her helper lady too,

they can talk to each other. I try to help my mom out by taking her to the grocery store, going to the grocery

store for her, going to the drugstore for her, taking her to the drugstore, going out to breakfast or lunch with her,

spending a couple of days / nights at her place each week, playing cards with her, watching television with her,

and driving her to her doctors appointments. I also will take out her trash and check her mail and do her laundry

and wash her dishes. I am unemployed, so at this time I can afford the time to do these things for her. When I

was working a 40 hour week I was very tired and did not attend to her needs at all like I do now.


I am at my apartment now after spending every day with my mom for the past week.

I had to have some car repairs done this morning and I was not happy with the cost, are mechanics the

only ones making money these days ? Seems like something always comes along that costs money.....

a COBRA health insurance payment, car repairs, buying a new pair of shoes for a job interview, paying a high co-pay for a

prescription medication. My tax refund was spent fast than I could have ever imagined.


Well, enough of my whining for now. I am going to try to get past Session Three in the program today

and try to move on to Session Four. I need to do some reading if I can get some of my concentration back.

Concentration where are you ! You used to be there !


I fell asleep to the relaxation tape at my mom's house

the other evening, that was a nice feeling since I don't sleep well at all. I have to admit that spending time

with mom is good for me and good for her, gives us both some company.


Weather here is great, but could reach a hot 85 degrees on Wednesday.

I am going nowhere with this post, I am just all over the place today.

Hope everyone had a great Monday.

Lynda

[forever young 06]

I have thought of trying disability but I know it is hard to get but some people get it very easy. dosn't sound fair. I also think I had rather work if I can because I like being with people. Finding the job that I can do is another thing. When you can't drive every where that is a challenge. A lot of jobs require you to go here for training, go here for a meeting. Why can't you train on sight yuk. I was hoping to over come this condition also and taking disabiliy is giving up but then you can always get better then go back to work. Or you going to try to get another job? I need to start back on the program again too and try to face my fears and maybe get to where I can drive in the other areas. Good luck if you keep at it usually you will finally get it . I know some it has taken 4 yrs you then get a large back pay

[tina martin]

So sorry about everyone's hardships. We have them in one form or another. Still, we must hang in and put up the fight. Don't forget the program, it can help and pave the way.

R, never be concerned about posting. Life throws its hard knocks at us, sometimes from all sides. But we are made of iron, resist and never give up. What's worse than dementia? Father, mother, and the long goodbye with brother. We get vascular dementia and, honestly, I'm noticing signs in me. So far only minor mistakes. I am wild to fight it from all angles. Can never thank you enough for bringing me here. XO, XO, XO, as Jamie would say.

[LyndaLu]

tina: Do you know of any good books I can read. They don't have to be self help books, just something

with substance that I can "sink my teeth into", as they say. I sure need a good read to take my mind

off of some of the things that are going on in my life and it might relax me. It seems like you know a

lot of good authors. LyndaLu